|
A dreamy trip about Heaven I would like to share:
A few times a year I take a mushroom trip, mostly Mexican.
I have been doing this for almost 15 years now and it has changed / influenced my religious believes in a profound way. I would like to share my last ‘religious’ experience / trip which I had just after my grandmother died.
In the book ‘The teachings of Don Juan’ by Castaneda, Don Juan, a Yaqui Indian, talks about mushrooms and the Alleys. The ally is best described as the ‘voice of the mushroom’ and this voice is different for each person. After a few years of experimenting with the mushroom I developed a strong relationship with my own ally. This may sound strange but for me the ally is a reality, like a very close friend. I came to know this ally long before I even knew of the book of Castaneda and in the beginning it felt as if God spoke directly to me. Now I know that God isn’t the one who is speaking, it is simply the mushroom – or ally. Nevertheless, the boundary between God and ally is vague and sometimes I think of the ally as an angel or messenger (This is a common shared experience by many mushroom users)
This ally is wise, loving and also very funny sometimes. Communication with the ally is not by words but by thought, images or feelings – difficult to explain. Let me give you an example: For years I am trying to learn to play piano and sometimes I am so frustrated that I cry out to the Universe, or God: ‘Why didn’t you gave me the talent to play the piano, why make it so difficult for me?’ Once, in a trip, I was playing piano and meanwhile communicating with my ally. I expressed my frustration and asked why I was not given the talent to play good. The ally then ‘told’ me: you have been given the talent, the only problem is you. You don’t believe that you can already play the piano. It is you and your believes that are holding you back. You think that you cannot play and therefore you cannot play.
Once I asked a few questions about life and the ally gave me the answers by giving images a basketball players in different situations. I know this sounds weird, but somehow I could understand the meaning of these images. Now, if I ask the ally a question and don’t understand the answer immediately, the ally – as a kind of joke – troughs a basketball against my head like saying ‘hey, pay attention!’
Anyway, this last trip: my grandmother just died a few days before.
I was playing piano and was thinking about my grandmother. Suddenly my ally appeared and this time in the form of a warm light – I could almost touch it. Somehow I also felt that my grandmother was nearby. As if my ally was accompanying my grandmother.
I started to cry and strangely I began to play some sort of children’s melody or theme on the piano. It was very reassuring and calming (like a mother singing her children to sleep)
I felt the presence of my grandmother and ally very strong (never underestimate a mushroon ;-))
I asked my grandmother ‘Are you in Heaven?’ and she said ‘Yes and no, things are not what you think they are, Jeroen. I have begun a new life and I am very happy now. But I am also sad for your father and Loucky’ (my aunt). Then I asked ‘Does Heaven exists?’ and she said: ‘Yes, but Heaven is not what you think it is. Heaven is a place where all our beautiful and treasured memories are kept, Heaven is not a place where dead people are kept.’ Then I felt as if she started laughing: ‘Can you imagine how crowded it would be and how problematic? In what ‘state’ should God preserve all these people? Young or old? Sick or healthy? And don’t you think that it would be a waste of life? Heaven is not what you think it is, these are just words.’ And she continued: ‘When you die, you will go to Heaven, everybody does. There you will handover your most treasured memories to God and for a moment you will be among all the memories of your loved ones. You will see your own father, your mother, your friends…They will seem so real that you could not tell the difference. You will also relive your own most treasured memories, therefore, you should acquire as much beautiful memories in your live as possible’.
I know it was just a trip, but I felt happy and ‘light’ for days. I still feel it is a gently poetic idea: 'Heaven is a place where all treasured memories are kept'.
As a kind of disclaimer: I am aware of the fact the hallucinations are exactly what they are: hallucinations. A Zen teacher would say ‘be careful, those are powerful delusions of the mind’. Perhaps the Zen teacher is right, but then again…what about the Indians? Is their believe system lesser then that of Christians or Buddhists?
God, the Universe, the meaning of life, awareness, emptiness, life and death…so many questions.
If Darwin is right, if life is nothing more then coincidence, then why is it that a flower is perfectly adapted to the bees and other insects? How does a flower ‘know’ that, after a long period of evolutionary adjustments, the bee will be there? And how does the bee knows that there will be a flower?
I am curious to know if other people on DU have similar ‘religious like’ experiences with mushrooms. To be honest, it is sometimes hard to differentiate between fantasy and reality, between religion and faith, honesty and delusion.
Perhaps God is shaking his head 'Oh no, when will he learn?'
Sorry for the bad English.
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(608 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
