teenagebambam has the ultimate "War on Christmas" response.

[trotsky]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=2823897&mesg_id=2824331

‘Twas some weeks before Christmas, and all thru the town,
decorations were hung over trees not yet brown.
“Why the rush?” I did muse, “to be merry and gay,
when we’ve not even set our Thanksgiving buffet?”

Yet the ‘Christians’ were out, and they dared to declare,
“You won’t let us be Christians! It just isn’t fair!
We want to hear 'Christmas' when we go to the stores,
To buy our big-screen TVs and dress our daughters like whores!”

I puzzled a bit at their public distress;
Surely Jesus would not have endorsed such a mess?
It was He, after all, who was heard to intone,
“When you pray, go away, thou shalt do it alone!” (Matthew 6:5-6)

“You have every freedom in this land of ours,
To go pray in the courthouses, schools, even bars!
The problem, you see, is that if you had your druthers
You’d dictate the prayers that should be said by all others!”

“But our nation,” they cried, “is a Christian-y land,
We’re being oppressed, you don’t understand!
The Founding Fathers were God-fearing all,
They would want us to celebrate Mass at the mall!”

I puzzled some more, for a cursory glance
Through the History books showed a very slim chance
That the great men who founded our Nation would care
If you’re Christian or Jewish or something more rare!

Washington, Jefferson, Adams, and Paine,
State-sponsored worship they all did disdain.
One can imagine just how much more
They would have detested religion pushed by a store!

“Besides,” I then thought, “I’m as Christian as you,
but have many friends – Atheist, Muslim, and Jew.
My ‘Happy Holidays’ doesn’t slight your belief,
But acknowledges theirs – so what’s your beef?”

But my words of good sense fell on ignorant ears,
Who continued to rail against their imaginary fears.
So to you, dearest friends, these two words I transmit;
Happy Holidays to all – even stupid hypocrites.

[hobbit709]

1. Bravo. well said

:toast: :applause: :applause: :applause:

[LaurenG]

2. Very well said, good for teenagebambam

I consider myself a Christian as well.

[deepthought42]

3. Ahh magnifique!

I should print that out and take it with me when I have to work in my local mall. Honestly, Xmas has become so tacky and materialistic, it disguts me.

[racaulk]

4. I am so going to bookmark this thread!

Very excellent work from teenagebambam! Very well done!

:applause:

[LilyLibber]

5. This is fantastic!

I love it!! :applause: :yourock:

[Deep13]

6. very cool

[bryant69]

7. That is a good comeback

I'm already tired of the "war on Christmas" nonsense.

Bryant

[Scriptor Ignotus]

8. K&R

excellent

[ConservativeDemocrat]

9. I fixed the metering slightly; made it more pointed

(mostly this entailed tiny changes to keep the rhythm consistent.
one couplet shifted to make a stronger point)


‘Twas some weeks before Christmas, and all thru the town,
decorations were hung over trees not yet brown.
“Why the rush?” did I muse, “to be merry and gay,
when we’ve not even set our Thanksgiving buffet?”

Yet the ‘Christians’ were out, and they dared to declare,
“We can't be true Christians! It just isn’t fair!
We want to hear 'Christmas' when we go to the stores,
To buy huge TVs, dress our daughters like whores!”

I puzzled a bit at their public distress;
Surely Jesus would not have endorsed such a mess?
It was He, after all, who was heard to intone,
“When you pray, go away, thou shalt do it alone!” (Matthew 6:5-6)

“But our nation,” they cry, “is a Christian-y land,
We’re being oppressed! You don’t understand!
The Founding Fathers were God-fearing all,
They'd want us to celebrate Mass at the mall!”

I puzzled some more, for a cursory glance
Through the history books showed, a very slim chance
That the great men who founded our Nation would care
If you’re Christian or Jewish or something more rare.

Washington, Jefferson, Adams, and Paine,
State-sponsored worship they all did disdain.
It's hard to imagine how truly much more
They would have detested faith pushed by a store!

The freedom we have in this great land of ours,
Lets us pray in the courts, the schools, even bars.
“Besides,” I then thought, “I’m as Christian as you;
I just have good friends – Atheist, Muslim, and Jew.

‘Happy Holidays’ does not at all slight our belief,
Just acknowledges theirs – what's the real beef?”
The problem, you see, 'tis if you had your druthers
You’d dictate the prayers to be said by all others.

But my words of good sense fell on bigoted ears,
Who continue to rail 'gainst convenient fears.
So to you, dearest friends, these two words I transmit;
Happy Holidays to all – even you hypocrites.


- C.D. Proud Member of the Reality Based Community

[Hekate]

18. Excellent work, CD and Bambam!

This ditty is a real keeper -- or, rather, a real sender, something for all those "friends" who keep sending me spam about what a Christian nation this is and how the vast majority are somehow being "persecuted" by those of us who don't believe as they do. :eyes:

Well done, DUers.

Hekate

[ms liberty]

10. Best. Answer. EVER!

We all need to send this to every single person who's ever sent us a RW email. I know I will be...bookmarking, and K&R.

[Realityhack]

11. K&R

[Laelth]

12. Beautiful!

k&r

:dem:

-Laelth

[Turn CO Blue]

13. teenagebambam rocks! K, B & R

[GenDem]

14. This should be sent to Bill-O

[Irishonly]

15. Great

:yourock:

[civildisoBDence]

16. The Muslims were hung from a tree by their toes

And forced in some sick positions to pose.

Newsprism

[lumberjack_jeff]

17. Brilliant! n/t... except for K&R!

[WinstonSmith4740]

19. Absolutly fabulous!!!!

How do we get this to Keith? :headbang: :yourock: :applause:

[neuvocat]

20. I'm shedding a tear.

I love it.

[MethuenProgressive]

21. Everybody start emailing this to FOX's Bill O' :O)

Nice job!

[JudyM]

22. This is super! Thanks. K&R

[progressoid]

23. Yep, that's a keeper!!

If I get that ridiculous email, I'll be sure to reply!

[DinahMoeHum]

24. Heh heh, Bookmarked!

n/t