The Washington Generals Make Their Play For LeBron James.

[underpants]

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2010/6/9paulas.html

So, in lieu of actual money, we're going to have to get a bit more "creative" in regards to the contract we're offering. Consider this just a little taste of the swag you'll be getting:

• Front-row tickets to every Generals game for your entourage (up to 20 a night), along with a pre-game buffet with all-they-can-eat hot dogs, popcorn and sodas and a post-game party featuring a clown that will make any balloon animal upon request.

• Use of the T-shirt cannon on non-game days.

• A free jersey in your choice of size.

• Lucrative, commission-based endorsement deal with Jim's Muffler Shop, the official Muffler Shop of the Washington Generals.

• Access to the high-in-demand last row of seats on the team's traveling bus, allowing you the ability to put your feet up and first access to the rear emergency exit.

• Getting to pick the teammate you room with while we're on the road (for obvious reasons, we suggest staying away from Freddy "Slip n' Slide" Clemens).

• Being the first to order your meal every night of the week, whether we're dining at The Sizzler, Olive Garden or Red Lobster.

• You can play whatever position you want, for as long as you want, and for whatever coach you want. Want to play for Jay Tarses, the actor who played the coach in Teen Wolf? There's no reason we can think of why we won't be able to make that happen!

[getting old in mke]

1. Thank you

My day can begin with a smile now.

[Dr. Strange]

2. The Globetrotters are in trouble now.