Anyone find this offensive or am I over-reacting?

[Meldread]

I typically don't get to read the boards as much as I like. When I do get a chance I like to grab a look at the news on the front page and this section of the boards. On the front page you can view this thread. Am I simply over reacting and find some of the comments there offensive and insensitive to gay people?

I'm sure most folks who posted in that thread would look any one of us dead in the eye and tell us "I support gays and gay rights", and be truly sincere.

I would encourage others from this forum to read the thread and see if they find any of the comments offensive and let me know if I am just being overly sensitive. It just looks to me that some folks on the board have some internalized homophobia and don’t even realize it.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. It's...

All too typical. Old habits die hard, despite the best of intentions.

[sui generis]

2. eh, it's not a commentary on gayness, but a commentary on

hypocrisy.

I don't take it personally - it's not a condemnation of us.

[justin899]

15. No, some of those are clearly heterosexist if not borderline homophobic

For example, take post #65,

But they're NOT in Saudi Arabia now. And that CLOSE face-to-face...too "G"-word for me. If he wants to gaze into a man's eyes, let it be in the Lincoln Bedroom, NOT with cameras are rolling...AP Cameras, that is.

That is an attack on gays couched in terms of addressing Bush, but it is still heterosexist by suggesting two men should keep their affections out of public view.

You can make excuses for these people if you want, but I find it highly offensive myself.

[vi5]

3. I'm straight and I find some of the stuff offensive......

....The only thing worth mentioning in the context of those pictures is that the right and their punditocracy had a field day with Kerry and Edwards being comfortable hugging and such and made a ton of homophobic cracks. So pointing out the hypocricy of their silence with these photos and displays is I think fair. But you're not being oversensitive with regard to some of the comments on there.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

4. I don't blame you for being pissed.

I can see how you'd take it the way you do. I'm not sure it's intended to be that way, but that's not the point.

[Demit]

5. I'm not gay, but I read through the thread again, and

I saw snickers about the goofy pics of Bush and people riffing on that the way we do on other goofy pics of Bush. Which comments did you find offensive?

I would posit that, if we were looking at a serious picture of a president we liked, and the president was a single gay man (imagine that for some day!) walking with a friend, we would be respectful. I think the comments were meant to be derisive of Bush. But I am female & straight, so I would be interested in what you saw from your perspective...

[peacetalksforall]

6. I agree about in the insensitivity...Bush causes people to go to base

barroom ridicule rules, at times. The other part that really bothers me in relation to people from other countries, particularly the Muslims, is the ignornace in relation to culture and customs. But, DU is a place to learn.

[davidinalameda]

7. most of those posts are worth of a 13 year old

and a not very mature one at that

[Guy Fawkes]

8. damn....

Some of those posts are damn offensive... None of it meant that way, but still...

[xchrom]

9. i always find that stuff offensive.

but our straight friends here are convinced of their rightness -- and i'm tired of arguing the point.

[davidinalameda]

10. if you quit arguing the point

then they win

sorry, but I'm feeling way self-righteous today

I'm so fucking sick of these people telling me that I can't have my basic civil rights

[dsc]

11. I get pretty tired of it too

we are already hearing about the gay frat brother etc.

[Democrats_win]

12. This thread is enlightening. What was said was wrong. Educate!

I too participated because I don't hold back on the hypocrites of this administration. But by using the "gay label" in this manner I understand that I made an error of implying that being gay is bad.

It would be like pointing at bush and the prince of terrorists and saying, "Good." But what we really mean is, "Bad." Besides, the bad is not on the surface, the holding of hands, but in the hearts of men who would allow torture or the many other crimes that occur because they hold power.

[foreigncorrespondent]

13. Yeah!

Some comments in the thread is pretty offensive, but like others, I am tired of speaking out about it. No one listens!

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

14. Not oversensitive, but

it is kind of funny ...

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

16. And another thing:

Too many dems take the gay vote for granted. Well, let me tell you - I voted for Bush in 2000 - no one could have predicted the events of the ensuing 4 years - though I voted for Kerry last November.

But I have always felt that many dems want gays and lesbians to be good little pets - they roll over; don't speak; perform tricks; and vote dem. It is a kind of homophobia. The only consolation is that sentiment among dems generally is overwhelmingly opposed to discriminating, and that those who DO say things homophobic marginalize themselves.

Not ideal, but the political reality is what it is.

[Nimrod]

17. The way I see it

It's more of a backlash on * for his super-macho fagbashing stance than genuine insensitivity. One of my favorite jokes:

"Why doesn't Jerry Falwell use bookmarks?"
"He LIKES his pages bent over."

So by telling this joke I'm insinuating that Falwell is gay, and it could further be construed that I'm equating that as something negative.

I DO hope it's obvious that's not the case. ;)

I'll agree the comments on that thread got sophomoric, but I see it as more of a backlash on someone who likes to strut around in flight suits waving his dick. Same with Ann Coulter being so proud of her girlyness that the backlash is to say she looks like a man.

Immature, but not worth getting offended over IMHO. I'm guilty of it too, after all.

[MsUnderstood]

18. I have a confession

I play an online game. . .a lot. So much in fact, that I could be called an addict.

Anyhow, this game has a guild, a place where you can join up with friends so you can see when they are online, chat with at a message board when not playing the game, etc.

Anyway, this new person joins the guild and tells us all about how he left his old guild because of some crazed, miltant lesbian who asked him not to use the word gay because of the negative connotation. . .

This simple request from a lesbian who wanted to enjoy the game turned into a flame war with our new guildmate saying all sorts of homophobic stuff to his old guildmate just to piss the gal off, cause that is how you win a flame war.

While he is telling the story, I read all sorts of posts from the straight folks about it, supporting this poor guy who just used an inappropirate word and one gay guy who said "That's why I stay in the closet, people like her. . ." and I said nothing.

Since then, the guild continues along making gay humor a part of the daily stuff (I fail to understand why it is funny to make jokes about a guy screwing another guy in order to make one guy feel superior but I digress) and they have no problem using the word GAY negatively. In fact the new guildie has a signature with some stupid homophobic remark.

So, my point? I said nothing, and decided not to reveal my own sexuality, but don't like to be around these people anymore.

When you allow these off the cuff "gay is gross and look bush is gay", you send a message that gay is not good. I'm sure the intent was "isn't this the kettle calling the pot black" since bush has so many anti-gay messages, but it doesn't pan out that way.

I should have stood up when this happened and we should have too. It is a genre of humor (straight guys getting stuck in homosexual situations) that isn't needed.