I have been reading in this forum more than usual in the last few days

[Rainbowreflect]

and I have a serious question for anyone willing to help me out.
What is the best thing or things I can do to help?
How can I, as a straight women, best help my friends fight for their civil rights?
I am angry and saddened by what I have seen and heard recently, but I don't know where to start to help make a change.
I realize that I cannot totally understand what you are going through, but I want to do something that really matters, not just worthless words that don't change a thing.
Thank you!

[Warpy]

1. There are people who are reachable

by arguing civil rights, by arguing simple justice, by arguing practicality, and by using logic.

Then there are the people who believe what the preacher said about how gay marriage is going to kill their own marriages because they believe everything the preacher says without question. They are unreachable.

Our job is to learn to tell the difference and help enlighten those who are capable of it.

Our job is to change minds and hearts, one at a time. We did it with race and we can do it with gay civil rights.

Some day, we might even be able to do it for ourselves.

[TechBear_Seattle]

Hold your elected representatives' feet to the fire

We GLBT people are not allowed to do so; our fundamental civil rights are nothing more than a divisive pet issue, after all. Our straight allies might be able to get something done, though.

And thanks. :hug:

[Rainbowreflect]

4. I just cannot seem to wrap my head around why anyone would

want to fight against other's getting the same rights they enjoy. I simply do not understand their fear. Even understanding that some people's faith makes them believe homosexuality is "wrong" that same faith says adultery is wrong, eating shell fish is wrong, etc, etc and they are not trying to take away people in those groups rights away.
Maybe I am to concerned with my own life and problems to feel the need to make decision for anyone else.

[jonnyblitz]

21. shilling for a politician trumps principle for many.

People would rationalize anything so as not to consider Obama(in this case) worthy of criticism. I can't think of any other reason why so called "liberals/progressives" would be so dense. I am not saying they are actively fighting against my rights I am just saying when push comes to shove we aren't the priority.

[xchrom]

2. join PFLAG.

parents and friends of lesbian and gay people.

there's also equality california -- a better organization than HRC.

and also LAMDA.

those are good places to start.

and thanks for wanting to help.

[Rainbowreflect]

5. I just got the info to join, thanks!

[plantwomyn]

3. PFLAG

There are many chapters and even one in the small Indiana town I live in. They do good work. You can help and they can help give you direction.

[bluedawg12]

6. Thank you for the support.

The suggestions about PFLAG and Lambda, etc. are spot on.

The biggest thing is,as already mentioned, the process of self education.

Namely, this is not a religious issue.

This is not about changing people's likes or dislikes about gays.

It's very simple: are you for fairness and justice under law for all people?

I have learned a lot from hanging out here at GLBT over the last two months.

As someone who has been gay since birth, LOL, and in a great adult relationship for 23 years, I still had to come and learn the arguments and merits of the gay civil rights issue...and continue to learn daily.

There are some very, very smart people here who post regularly, watch them and learn how they argue the case. It gives us the tools of reasonable words to express a feeling of rage at unfairness.

peace and happy holidays-

bd12 :hi:

[Marrah_G]

7. K&R

What a great post.

Thank you.

[Ian David]

8. 1. Volunteer. 2. See something, say something. 3. Donate money. 4. Write letters to the editor.

Straight allies are important, because they model for others how to support equal rights without it being a "gay issue."

[LostinVA]

9. Is there a PFLAG Chapter near you?

[Rainbowreflect]

10. Yep, just found it on line & printed the form to join.

Thanks!

[LostinVA]

11. I should have raed the thread first!

When I worked in Virginia, I knew a retired couple who were very active in PFLAG, even though they didn't have any children who were GLBT. They loved it.

[Rainbowreflect]

12. I also decided to change my avatar and signature.

For just a small show of support. :grouphug:

[LostinVA]

13. So many of our straight allies have done that!!!!!!

:pals:

[Two Americas]

14. some thoughts

I had such an awakening over the last few days. Maybe my experience will be of value to others.

I had always flattered myself that I was "good" on this issue. In the 80's I was working in San Francisco for a corporation in an industry that had always been exclusively white male, and I put together a program to bring women, people of color and gay people into the company. I saw the resistance, I saw the bigotry, I heard the whispers.

But I always saw the cause as "their cause," over there, not my cause - oh, I supported it, whatever that means. I now think that saying "I support gay rights" is an easy way out that costs nothing. But that is what I was doing.

Over the last few days when I saw the barrage of hatred here - let's call it for what it is and not play games anymore - when I saw all of the verbal tricks, the lies and the deceptions, the aggressive and relentless campaign to isolate and dismiss people, I was mortified.

Then I saw the thread with the photos, and my heart broke. I thought, wait a minute. These are my fellow human beings, these are people I have come to know and cherish here, and some with whom I have disagreed and argued bitterly - all part of our shared human experience. Individuals, people, human beings, allies - my brothers and sisters. I won't mention names, but there are some people on that thread that I have respected and admired over the years here. I thought, she is being placed into this category, to be despised and mistreated - not a human being anymore, but rather defined as "a gay" as though that trumped everything, as though that diminished everything she is and has done and has to say? No. That can't happen. I can't go along with that.

I had always thought the issue was this - do you or do you not support gay rights? I think that is the wrong question now. That implies that "they" - some group, different and other than "us" - have some "agenda" that is separate and different, and that we either say we favor that or we say that we don't. Since I say that I do, therefore I am "good" on this.

Instead, I asked myself this - do I or do I not oppose the agenda of the religious right? And what is that agenda? It is to portray some group of people as separate and different, with an agenda they are trying to impose on us, all done in order to pander to people's fears and prejudices, to spread hatred and intolerance for the sake of enriching themselves and grabbing for power and influence.

There isn't a "gay agenda" we need to support, but there most definitely is an agenda of hatred and bigotry coming from the religious right that we need to oppose - we must oppose. There is not some group of "them" that we need to give bland and tenuous support to, but rather we are talking about human beings, people, outcast and judged, persecuted and terrorized all in the service of an evil and hateful agenda that threatens all of us.

[bicentennial_baby]

15. How wonderfully and beautifully put...

:hug:

[glitch]

16. This deserves its own thread. nt

[Rainbowreflect]

17. WOW! Thanks for putting so many of my feeling into words.

I have trouble finding the right words when my emotions get too involved.

[Two Americas]

19. yes - emotions get too involved

I am struggling with that as well.

[GOPisEvil]

18. I've been struggling to adequately describe the exact feeling you describe here.

This should be a post on its own.

[ananda]

20. Totally agree.

If one person or group is oppressed, we are
all oppressed.

We must fight for full human and civil rights
for everyone, and most of all ourselves.

We are all allies in this together.

[bluedawg12]

22. Excellent! Resisting gay rights is acquiescing to right wing ideology

the same people that throw up so many barriers to gay rights would never see themselves as conservatives on other political issues - it's a tremendous blind spot for many self described progressive people.

There is also a lemming quality about following and defending something that is patently immoral.

If the new powers that be changed their point of view from civil unions to same sex marriage equality - many, not all, but many would just flip and follow that too.

[jonnyblitz]

23. your post should have a thread of it's own.

thank you so much for you thoughts and your support.

[Two Americas]

24. thanks

Yes.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4712823

[HillWilliam]

25. Positive power up and down this thread

If I could recommend a hundred times, I certainly would.

[Rainbowreflect]

26. I love your signature line! It is so true.

The $150 I spent on November 26 to adopt my baby Jacob, a Lab/Shepard mix was the best money I ever spent.
He has been such a joy to my family.

[HillWilliam]

27. Thanks!

As I often say to my beloved, we can't save the world but we can paint our little corner of it any color we want to. I had two companions when we met that were getting on in years. For the longest time, I had hoped to adopt another deserving pup, but he was afraid it would outlive him. When our Dora came along, not only did he fall in love again, I knew he had decided to fight and live. The unspoken determination meant as much as the gift of a new companion. Their bond became so strong, she volunteered to alert for his seizures. In the past seven years, instead of having monthly grand mals, he's only had two -- total. Since then, my original two have crossed the Rainbow Bridge, but we've been privileged to be able to rescue two more who really, really needed a home. What we've gotten in return could never be measured.

Give Jacob a hug from all of us. :hug: Keep one for yourself. :hug:

[Laughing Mirror]

28. You are already taking action just by posting here

And your words are "not just worthless words." Words are a great tool when that tool is put to good use.

Just making the decision to fight for civil rights may be all that's needed for you. Right action will spring automatically from you out of that.

[Rainbowreflect]

29. Thank you!