Great posting in your link, benevolent dictator!
I've wrestled with the same issues of homophobia within the Democratic party as well.
Two years ago my GLBT Democratic club helped sponsor a get out the vote rally for the Democratic slate of candidates. It was pretty disgusting to hear some of the members of the firefighters union in attendance complain about "all the faggots" at the rally.
Last year at the annual county Democratic event a member of another GLBT Democratic club was assaulted by a drunk union member who said, "You queers are hurting the party."
I know these are isolated incidents done by a very few individuals, but the thing that pisses me off is that so many people stood around doing nothing while the incidents occurred.
The bottom line for me is that my rights are not negotiable. I will not go back in the closet because the homophobic morons within the Democratic party find it "inconvenient" to acknowledge that LGBT folk are part of the party. (I did a blog about this recently:
http://kweerwolf.blogspot.com/2005/04/my-rights-are-not-negotiable.html)
The ironic thing is that the fellow Democrats encourage us to shut up and take a seat at the back of the bus are actually making us stronger than ever before. We hold real power and in a close election our votes can make the difference between success and failure. If we as a bloc demanded the party stand up for the rights of all people or we would shift our allegiance to the Greens or another third party, we would definitely have the ear of the less enlightened among Democrats.