Do you think a lot of straight people are embarrassed at how we are treated in this country?

[ruggerson]

I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed of America when I was very young, watching grainy pictures of kids my own age being hosed down in the South.

It was an immediate, emotional response.

If I were straight, I don't know what I would be saying to the gay people in my life that I loved.

I would be at a loss for words.

[PDJane]

1. I do. Often.

bigotry provokes a very visceral response in me. Probably because I know what it feels like.

[flvegan]

2. Ashamed and saddened, since you asked.

I'd also be apologetic as I wish I could dedicate more time to equal rights.

The gay people in my life know me well enough that I'd not have to do so, but I would anyway.

[BlooInBloo]

3. Nah. You're the only moral person.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. is there ever a time you are NOT an asshole?

[Maven]

25. I can't recall any.

*thinking*

[La Lioness Priyanka]

26. me either. nt

[QC]

75. Ignored is often an asshole. n/t

[Runcible Spoon]

96. I haven't seen it.

Obama would be ashamed to know he has "supporters" like that.

I wonder why they love trolling GLBT so much?

[Runcible Spoon]

97. troll troll troll your post....

:eyes:

[Rhiannon12866]

4. K&R. When I saw your subject line, that was exactly my first thought...

I'm straight, and feel painfully embarrassed by both types of prejudice... Actually, any kind of prejudice. x(

[Chulanowa]

5. No - Not ashamed

It makes me angry.

[Starry Messenger]

6. I am.

I'm really struggling with being proud of my country. I'm ashamed we can't get equality and frustrated with how much damage has been done to even the little bits of progress by the right wing and the apathy of the Dem party.

I am at a loss for words.

[shifting_sands]

7. Yes

I am straight and yes I am ashamed and angry. I have been for many years, I had a lot of friends die of aids and watched them be stigmatized and go through their own shame. The whole concept of the way gays are treated in this country is simply out of my realm of understanding. The ignorance surrounding the issues is mind boggling and makes no sense whatsoever. So yes I am ashamed, I feel pained for my gay friends and the whole thing makes me angry.

[terisan]

8. Yes and keeping the issue before the public everywhere is good nt

[xenussister]

9. Yes. Ashamed, angry, frustrated, incredulous, depressed, gloomy...

It blows my mind that bigots still have ANY say whatsoever regarding anyone's human and civil rights.

[Skittles]

10. count me as one who is indeed not embarrassed but horrified

ESPECIALLY when I see DUer's saying, well, GLBT issues are less important than others :thumbsdown:

[nomorenomore08]

11. I'm a life-long Northern California resident, and the Prop 8 fiasco made my blood boil.

Since early adolescence, so basically for a decade now, I've had a particular interest in gay rights despite not having a *vested* interest per se, and despite (back then) not knowing any openly gay individuals - it was just a matter of basic fairness, and really plain old logic, to me. And I can't understand how this *one issue* gets people voting for continued injustice in such a sheeplike way. And having a group of friends who, by and large, have no issue with gays whatsoever, doesn't make it any easier to understand the bigotry of other people "out there."

So in the end I'm at a loss... :shrug:

[Solon]

12. Ashamed, I don't know, I'm generally overwhelmed by a feeling of rage instead...

I just get so pissed off at the injustice of it all, and frustrated that I can't do more.

[tavalon]

13. Heaven's yes!

Mortified.

[cali]

14. I am straight

and what I say to the gay people in my life about this is that we'll get there. And that more and more straight people will join us. That and we're doing a lot of bitching about Jim Douglas and a few others.

[Dramarama]

79. x2. I don't even no anyone personally

that is homosexual, but the comments are hear sometimes are disgusting. oh and California, get with the times lol

[jmondine]

15. As an American, I'm ashamed that any minority group is treated as less than equal.

Shame is one thing the Japanese get that we don't. As I see it, it's not an either/or. In fact, if I don't own up to my shame, how can there be any validity in my pride?

[Behind the Aegis]

16. Honestly, no, I don't think a lot of straight people are embarrassed at how we are treated.

IMO, I think most non-gay people really don't think about what we go through as GLBT people in this country. It doesn't register with most until there is a poll or a horrific murder the MSM reports. Prop 8 (and similar things) shows this as does things like peoples constant remarks about "how we blew the elections," or "how now is not the 'right time'."

So, no, I don't think "a lot" are embarrassed. Personally, I don't think most even give a shit.

[Two Americas]

45. I am certain of that, as well

The Warren fiasco was a wake up call for me. Most here will say "I support gay rights." But I have been surprised by how few actually defend the community. It is not even one in a hundred.

[Toasterlad]

17. No. I Don't Think the Majority Give It a Second Thought.

If a lot of people were truly upset about how we're treated, we'd have a lot more rights than we do right now.

[cali]

18. The Majority rarely- if ever- cares about the rights of the minority

without a huge amount of work. I've really gotten a bird's eye view of that over the last 12 years or so, here in VT.

[sui generis]

19. well they are on our side and they do speak up

as usual it's our kids that will end up bailing us out -

Even the lines between "gay" and "straight" aren't as rigorously policed as in our generation - my highschool age nephews, who have never slept with a guy nor plan to, happily self-identify as "bisexual" saying they wouldn't rule it out. Coulda picked my jaw up off the kitchen table with a fork.

We just have to keep being ourselves, without shame and refuse to put up with ANYTHING that is intended as harm to us. Ever.

[TechBear_Seattle]

20. In general? No, of course not

If they did, there would be a lot less bigotry and discrimination against gay people in this country.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. the majority do not however this is a minority of straight people who do

and who are just as surprised as you and i are about the hatred directed toward us

[MineralMan]

23. Not so much embarrassed as angry.

[sinkingfeeling]

24. Of ourse we are! There is no reason for the treatment.

[Deep13]

27. Sometimes.

No group should be singled out for irrational discrimination. Gay-bashing violence, employment discrimination, family law discrimination and the vilification from the pulpits are real causes for embarassment. On the other hand, people can be openly gay in this country without being hanged for it like they would be in much of the world.

[bluedawg12]

28. "people can be openly gay in this country without being hanged "

Here's a dime, buy a clue.

[Deep13]

29. You know what I mean.

So I don't appreciate the sarcasm. I SAID it was wrong that gay Americans are subjected to gay-bashing violence.

What I obviously meant was that it is not a criminal offense simply to be gay like it is in much of the world. In Iran, the penalty for homosexuality is death and they are not unique.

[Solon]

30. So what's the point of mentioning that at all?

Its not like we didn't already know that.

[Deep13]

31. I was answering the OP's question.

What would be the reason for not mentioning an established fact?

[Solon]

32. Uhm, yeah, ok, whatever, it had nothing to do with the question at hand...

but what the hell, might as well mention something that's distinctly offtopic for this thread, why not start your own with that theme?

[Deep13]

33. WHAT is your problem?

Is this a discussion forum or isn't it?

[Solon]

34. Here, let me see if I can clear it up for you, let's rephrase your answer...

"Yeah, I feel bad sometimes when blacks are still discriminated against, but at least they aren't lynched by mobs anymore."

Now, do you see a problem with this statement, or not?

[Deep13]

35. Nope. I will never apologize for an emotional feeling.

I feel how I feel and the OP's question was directed at embarassment, an emotional state. And in point of fact, a lack of lynching is progress. It is not enough in and of itself, of course, but a lack of lynching is better than the existence of it. Saying we need to oppose present day racism is not the same as saying things are as bad now as slavery was. That simply is not true.

Likewise, we definitely need to advance civil rights for gays. No question about that. I even think the issue is urgent. Still, it is dishonest to ignore how gay people are treated in much of the world, especially in Islamic states.

What I would like to know is what on Earth gives you the gaul to think you may dictate how people feel. Guilt because of an emotion is a religious idea based on the false assumption that people can choose what to believe. As a non-believer, I take personal offense at being held to what is a religious standard.

[LooseWilly]

67. You corn-fuse me...

"Guilt because of an emotion is a religious idea based on the false assumption that people can choose what to believe".

Uhhm, I do choose what to believe. It's called personal choice. i think even the Catholics have a word for it, though I don't really give a shit what their term for it is. And I certainly don't give a shit what any other faiths call it.

If you're arguing against something as basic as personal choice... well on your head be it... and go fuck yourself...

If you are a non-believer, then shall I presume you're also a non-believer in all the socialist systems of thought that would, theoretically, admit full rights to one of an "alternate" sexual orientation?
Or is your "non-believer" status on the other side of the fence, and in "support?"

[cboy4]

71. Excellent point!!

:thumbsup:

[bluedawg12]

40. Lack of "lynching" of gays is not progress in a 21st century nation

"And in point of fact, a lack of lynching is progress. -Deep13"

You've shared your feelings. They are loud and clear.

[Name removed]

41. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Deep13]

44. You are deliberately misrepresenting what I wrote.

#1. Tell me my observation of other countries is not revelant. Here is a story about executions planned in Iraq for the crime of being gay. I am a citizen of the world and do not confine my concerns to the USA.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x124236

One reason I mentioned the absolute oppression of gays in other countries is because someone who posts on DU and now lives in USA cannot reasonably go back to his or her own country because it is a crime to be gay there. That made me feel bad for all the gay people who live there and cannot even TALK about it.

#2. That out of context quote was in response to someone using the example of the civil rights movement for Black Americans. In the 1930s, lynching of Black people was common. Now it is almost unknown. How, exactly, is that NOT progress?

I don't know what made you decide to paint me as a bad guy and I really don't care. You are intentionally and dishonestly misrepresenting my remarks. Instead of assuming you know what I mean and further assume I mean the worst possible interpretation, you might have simply asked.

You are not my friend.

[Zuiderelle]

58. It's no different than injecting the fact that women in some countries don't have the right to vote

or that slavery exists in other countries so blacks here should at least be happy for that progress, or that children are forced to labor in other countries, so children here should celebrate the laws against it here, despite the fact that some of those children right here are starving.

You injecting the "fact" that gays are not lynched here as they are in other countries in a thread like this which is a discussion about whether straights really care about our fight for equality in THIS country, is egregious at best.

[bluedawg12]

60. It's OT and misses the point of gay hate crimes in the US

because we can take comfort that we don't hang gays? :wtf:

[Two Americas]

57. what you said is not relevant to the OP's question

The OP asked if people were embarrassed. Obviously that means as individuals given the social condition in this country since this is the country the OP is talking about. Individuals get no credit for being born here rather than in Iran, so why would their embarrassment be mitigated by that? And if your intention was not to offer a reason for why people's embarrassment might be mitigated, why would you mention it? Just in case people forgot that Iran was a repressive regime?

Calling it "an established fact" mean nothing and does not explain why you would post it. Here is another established fact - there are 12 eggs in a dozen. So what?

So your excuse for that remark is not legitimate.


...

[bluedawg12]

63. It's a pretty lame explanation for a non sequitur, or a new variation on STFU?

In the guise "a citizen of the world," I am informing you that it could be worse!

[bluedawg12]

39. I know exactly what you mean and it is irrelavant to America

and not the goals of a free nation and free peoples to be one rung above a homophobic theofascist State.

You also seem to have some cognitive dissonance when you condemn hate crimes and murder at the hands of fellow citizens but want people to be comforted because that does not appear to you to be "institutionalized" murder. That's total bullshit.

It matters little who kills you, if you are killed, tortured or beaten for being gay.

"And in point of fact, a lack of lynching is progress. -Deep13"

Progress? Only to you. Only to you.

[Name removed]

42. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Deep13]

46. Again, you deliberately misrepresent what I said.

I never said being one rung above a theocratic state was somehow the benchmark. I did not say or imply that things do not need urgent improvement and nothing I wrote can reasonably be interpreted as such. I don't really care what is only relevant to the USA. That is a pretty narrow-minded point of view. Regrettably, it is pretty common among certain catagories of shall we say "alternative thinkers." As you say, it matters little who kills you so I am not willing to shut my eyes to the routine execution of people in other countries for the "crime" of being gay. If you think there is no difference between criminal violence and institutional violence, then you are painfully ignorant of history and are in no position to lecture me about it. (Hint, it's the number of victims.)

Again, the quoted remark is taken out of context and actually referenced a comparison made to the civil rights movement for Blacks. 1930s: lynching was common. Now it isn't. Explain to me and to the veterans of the civil rights movement how the end or routine murder is NOT progress.

[bluedawg12]

59. The thread was clearly about America. Not a comparative analysis of international bigotry.

If you got OT, then, don't blame me for not following your lack of logic.

[Starry Messenger]

36. Somehow

"Yay, we are better than Iran." doesn't exactly work for me. Of, course it is worse there. There are countries where gay rights are more advanced than in the United States. Hopefully we aspire to be more like a progressive country and less like a theocracy.

edit: clarification

[Deep13]

38. I absolutely agree.

The benchmark should be what is reasonable and generous, not what extremists do. And some other countries are more advanced than we are in this and many other things. One of the thinks I really don't like about assertions like "we're no.1!" or "we're not perfect, but it is the best system in the world" is that it immediately stops any examination about how other countries do things, especially where we might learn from them.

[Two Americas]

47. Deep13...

This is an opportunity to learn, and it wouldn't harm you to admit that you are wrong. No one would "dance on your grave" or humiliate you.

It would be a simple matter to say "I see how callous my remarks were. Thank you for pointing that out. I have much to learn."


...

[Deep13]

50. As a mere mortal myself,...

...I try to listen to constructive criticism. Nevertheless, I tend to repay sarcasm and dishonesty with venom. Those two people were not interested in a constructive dialogue. "Here's a dime, get a clue." Yeah, that's helpful.

Anyway, what exactly was I wrong about? The OP asked a question and I answered honestly and directly. I understand I tend to be very literal and often don't anticipate inferences people will drawn. (Asperger's, you know, or something like it.) Nevertheless, I'm not a fucking mind reader. I meant exactly and literally what I wrote and not a word more or less. If you have a specific complaint, you are going to have to spell it out, because I still am in the dark on that. All I can figure is that there is something offensive about pointing out that gay people in some other countries have it worse off than Americans do. Since is is a plain fact, I don't know what the cause of the offense is or even that the offense is reasonable in light of my plain meaning. So, please explain it.

And as I said, the question was not "do we need more civil rights" or "isn't it bad how gay people are treated?" It was, "Are straight people EMBARASSED..." That word has a specific meaning and it is emotional, not rational. I answered it thus.

[Two Americas]

52. yes, you don't know

You don't know what "the cause of the offense is or even that the offense is reasonable in light of my plain meaning."

There was a time when I would not have either.

I can't speak for the other members, but I will tell you that they are good people - honest and sincere - and that their responses are mild and tempered given the provocation.

Of course when you say to people "it could be worse - at least you aren't being lynched!" you are going to get a reaction.

I understand that you don't see what you did wrong.


...

[Deep13]

53. "it could be worse - at least you aren't being lynched!"

I never said that and you know it. I guess joining a chorus is easier than singing solo. And I guess you are declining my invitation to explain it.

Exactly what provocation are you talking about? I was provoked and am still pretty angry. I was asked a question and told the truth. I get the feeling that some expect me to make sure my stated feelings match whatever conclusions others have already drawn. Those who find it easy to lie about such things would expect that.

[Two Americas]

54. never mind

Thought I would give you the benefit of the doubt.

[Deep13]

56. When were you going to do that? nt

[bluedawg12]

61. As a citizen of the "world" he misses the point of his own opinion

He misses the larger more obvious point, that, while we don’t have formalized laws that require hanging for gays there is institutionalized bigotry, in the form of laws, in the form of weekly homilies, in the message of public figures and law makers that creates a moral climate where violence against GLBTQ people in America can find a fertile breeding ground with crazy haters.

Far too many people have died this year and in the recent past, not because a law condemned them to death, nor a jury, but because of the permissiveness in homophobia in some sectors of our society that leads to cases like Matt Shepherd, or Petty Officer Schindler (posted today) or hundreds of lesser known men and women in this nation that were slaughtered beaten, or maimed, solely for being gay, lesbian, bi, or transgendered.

Now that's progess?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

49. this is how i feel about it too. as bad as things are here, they are worse in most places

while straight people here have to get over their bigotry, they have already made bigger strides than people in other places.

[Deep13]

51. Thank you.

:pals:

As always, you're a real pal. This whole thing has upset me somewhat. I suppose I ought to be used to it.

[Two Americas]

62. how is that relevant?

How is a comparison to Iran relevant to the OP?

We can't know that any individuals have made any strides that would mitigate any cause for embarrassment. Should the country making progress be a legitimate cause for individuals to feel less embarrassment? What cause would that serve?

Why would any of us ever say "it could be worse?" That is always true. So what?

Imagine back in the 60's, in the context of the Civil Rights struggles, if people were asked "are you embarrassed about the state of race relations in this country?" Who would say "hey at least they aren't slaves anymore," and why would they say that, and whom would that serve?

How is this any different?

...

[bluedawg12]

65. In many places in this country being gay is at risk to your life.

Hate crimes don't need a clercial morality board to condemn someone, it's done vigilante style, right here in the US.

[TechBear_Seattle]

69. Indeed, just ask Matthew Shephard, Scott Libby, Lawrence King...

Oh, wait, you can't. THEY'RE DEAD.

Added: bluedawg12, You're not the one I'm snapping at. :hi:

[bluedawg12]

80. I agree with you, America has a long way to go.

Which was the topic here and sad to say, the reminders you brought up are not the last victims here.

:hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

68. i wasnt comparing to iran, i was comparing to india. while your world may revolve around america,

mine doesn't.

i think some straight people feel embarrassed, some feel like we have made strides but have far to go, others dont care.

i think deep13 is the second group and i dont want to jump down someone who has supported us for a long time because he answered something honestly

[bluedawg12]

81. The question was about America, don't paint us as uninformed Americans.

If some straight people are embarrassed only "sometimes" by the way gays are threated in this country, which was the OP's question, and they cite that gays are not hung here as an example of progress, then, thay are missing the point, just as you seem intent on doing.

We ALL feel that there is a long way to go.

People don't get "jumped down because they answered honestly."

Their notions are the topic of dissent, not their honesty.

[timtom]

87. You know,

you have always been a voice of reason in the wilderness. While we don't know each other, I just wanted you to know that I, for one, appreciate your intelligence and kindness.

[Jamastiene]

64. Oh Gosh, we are so lucky y'all don't hang us in town square.

:sarcasm:

So, beating us up in alleys, schools, and in the workplace is somehow better than being hanged in town square, according to you. How do you figure that is better?

[Marrah_G]

37. I think they are and I think it grows with each generation

My kids saw gay marriage legalized. Their kids will never know anything different besides what the read in history class. They will wonder how people were ever so ignorant.

[mitchtv]

43. Are you fucking kidding??

We are never mentioned in the media and when they do it's with a snicker of embarrassment. Not how we are treated but because they have to cover us. There is minute coverage in the so called progressive radio and less in the MSM. They hate to discuss us and we are a non issue to most In DU we are on the STFU list

[Deep13]

55. Sadly, that is true.

In 2004 in Ohio, roughly half of the Kerry voters also voted for a state constitutional ban on gay marriage despite the fact that it is already illegal under regular statute law. And if a majority of CALIFORNIA voters oppose gay marriage that already existed, then I really am not too hopeful about the future. In much of this country, just saying you are gay can (and often will) cost you your job and your rented home. But then what do we expect when so many hear the libel coming from the pulpits and the cable "news" shows?

[sundog]

48. sadly no

the straight folks who truly "get it" are far & few between, but they are good spirited people & i'm thankful for them

things ARE progressing - slowly but surely, one step at a time

it's very difficult not to get frustrated with the slow rate of change, but one needs only to look back 50 years for a comparative analysis

[LooseWilly]

66. I am a straight person and I am embarrassed by California passing prop 8.

I mean, it's marriage rights. Restricting it is sensible how again?...

I feel like I must be taking crazy pills or something... or maybe a majority of the voters in my state are stupid.

Words escape me... or try to turn insane when I try to manipulate them on the subject.

I'd like to personally apologize for the stupid amongst the heteros. I'm ashamed. Excuse me now.. the mere thought of this travesty still brings me to tears...

[TEmperorHasNoClothes]

70. yes

I am often horrified at the way other minorities are treated. I wanted to apologize for being white during Jena 6 after hearing what some whites said about the situation. I wanted to apologize to muslims every time time I hear ugly islamic rhetoric, especially from the right. So yes, I think there are many heterosexuals who are appalled and ashamed at what others in their majority say and how they treat gays.

[Brucie Kibbutz]

72. I think a large number of us are embarrassed of it.

I know I am.

[tekisui]

73. I am.

I am embarrassed, saddened and angry. I told an old friend I had nothing more to say to him because of what he said about "homosexuals". What he said was so offensive, I won't repeat it. But, the worst part is he didn't even realize it was offensive. He didn't see anything wrong with what he said.

All I can say is I am trying. I am with you.

[ruggerson]

74. thanks

that means a lot. :)

[omega minimo]

76. Given what we're dealing with

in the big picture sense, of institutionalized attitudes and behaviors, and here's a personal example:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x124396

...this is the point at which we may ask, do we need coalition building as in past progressive movements and does the GLBT and womens rights movement need to become unified?

The Powers That Be, that tell that couple, parents, that they cannot stay together are basing this not on gay rights but on individual, family and women's rights (denial of which is so ingrained in attitudes, behaviors and laws that denial gives cover for denial of GLBT rights).

When those are addressed, GLBT rights become a moot point, which IS the point! :thumbsup:

[Smarmie Doofus]

77. No. Most spend a great deal of time NOT thinking about it.

People vary in their capacity for empathy. For most it's "It's not my problem." We're not being "hosed", for the most part... just screwed over in a thousand much more subtle ways.

They can't see it... so they don't think about it.

[EFerrari]

78. Not embarrassed exactly. If a witness to aggressive bigotry, it's more like instant fury.

If it's the other, less focused stuff, it's more a bottomless sadness.

I'm really sheltered in a way. Working from home and not leaving the hood very often, I don't see ugly very often at all but only read it most of the time.

I wish this were an umbrella, a really big one. :hug:

[xchrom]

82. no. nt

[RetiredTrotskyite]

83. I Am Sure That...

there are quite a few who at least privately feel ashamed at how LGBTQ people in this country are treated. I know my cousin is an evangelical Christian and she understood completely why I would want to go to Canada to be legally married. Many of my family, whom I would have sworn would be dyed-in-the-wool homophobes, would actually have gladly come to see me married. I'm sure my situation is far from unique. Unfortunately not enough of our allies are willing to stand up and say, "Enough!" Maybe now that Dubya is history, there will be change in how people feel and how willing they are to speak out.

[Kajsa]

84. I am angry and ashamed, especially

when the state I live in takes a basic human right
AWAY from people, after instating it.

It's like some friggin,bizarre, parallel universe
where everything is turned around, only it's
real life.

This shouldn't even be on a ballot, it should be
a right for everyone.

I fight that fucking " it's so gay" slur every time I
hear it and like I've said before, I gets lots of
shit from people when I do.This includes my workplace,
in classrooms.

But I have no intention of quitting the fight against
hate and hate speech.

[PeaceNikki]

85. This straight person is not embarassed.

Ashamed is the word.

It's horrific and terrible. :(

[jesus_of_suburbia]

86. Yes... there are many straights embarrassed at how we are treated, but FAR from a majority of 51%.

That is changing everyday though.

We are much better off today than we were 20 years ago (even 10 years ago).

[Tim01]

88. This country? Check out the rest of the world, too.

Didn't they just hang a bunch of gays in Afghanistan? Comparatively this country isn't that bad. That's because gays are treated really badly all over the world. Things are not as they should be.

*humans*

[Zuiderelle]

89. Well, look at you, interjecting your wisdom all over our fair forum.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=221&topic_id=126754&mesg_id=127565

:eyes:

[bluedawg12]

94. Wow! That took some effort to go back three weeks to find this

thread and to set the US standard for us gays as lookie: Afghanistan!

It's no where need as bad here.

That's our new role model for a democratic society. :rofl:

[LostinVA]

90. It's best if you just quit being insulting

[Tim01]

91. I don't think I can be careful enough to not hurt your feelings.

I'll try to stay out of this particular forum.

[ropi]

92. good.... the faster and sooner you leave the better

n/t

[La Lioness Priyanka]

93. i dont think you try, your comments on bullying was very insensitive

and in a blame the victim mentality

similar to, women who ask for it get raped

[LostinVA]

95. You didn't hurt my feelings, and it is very easy to not piss me off in here

Just be respectful and not a phobe.

Ciao.