I have a dumb question re: Gay Marriage

[WillParkinson]

When two men or two women get legally married in one of the states that allows for it, does one spouse take the last name of the other as in "traditional" marriages? Meaning when I marry Paul next year would we keep our names as is? Would one spouse take the name of the other? I never really understood it for "traditional" marriages and am curious.

[beyurslf]

1. I think it is up to you what you do with your names.

I have friends where one has taken the name of the other (ala "traditional marriage"), some have both hyphenated with both names, and some who have just kept their names.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

2. LostinVA and I kept our last names

I like my last name, and she might change her last name anyway.

[LostinVA]

11. To explain what Haruka said

I may change it back to the original Sicilian spelling.

[xfundy]

3. Do it just like traditional couples.

Hypenate, take one's name, keep them the same, whatever. No difference.

[hulklogan]

4. You could also combine your names into something entirely new.

Not a hyphen, but a mash-up. Go ahead and do whatever makes you both happy! :patriot:

[Tangerine LaBamba]

5. You can do whatever you want,

just so long as it's not for fraudulent purposes.

There was never any legal requirement that a woman take the man's name in old-fashioned marriage - except in Hawaii, where, strangely enough, it was a legal requirement that she take his name.

It's just an old tradition.

Sort of like marriage being only between a male and a female.

You can keep your names, you can swap surnames, you can hyphenate both names, or you can take a whole new name (that might require filing a motion to change names in your local court) that best represents both of you (a biggest PITA than it's worth, in my opinion).

But, you're not obligated to change anything.

And, congratulations on your impending nuptials.................

[imdjh]

6. I'd take the best name.

If I had spent my entire life spelling Humperdink for customer service agents, I'd probably take my partner's name if it was something tame. Personally, I have for sometime thought that the last name "O" is fabulous. But what would you bet that you have to "spell" it for everyone, because the idea that it's simply "o" is beyond comprehension?

[Rowdyboy]

7. We're not even married but get mail all the time addressed to "Mike and Steve Barnes-Garrety"

combining our last names.

I think everyone above is correct....call yourself what you like. I enjoy the hyphenated form of our name but to each his or her own...

Congratulations on the upcoming celebration. God knows, I'll be 117 before its legal here in Mississippi!

[pup_ajax]

8. hang in there!

LOL.

I was talking to my Mother in Southaven, MS the other day and she said something similar.
That Mississippi would be the last one, dragged kicking and screaming along.
I dunno ... I'm sure Alabama will race them to be last. ;)

[Rowdyboy]

9. Sadly, your mom is probably right....we'd be much better off moving somewhere

that its already legal, like Iowa, or soon to be, like Illinois.

What the hell, we've been together 20 years now and not having that scrap of paper hasn't mattered yet.
Still it pisses me off.

[Toasterlad]

10. My Best Friend And His Husband Kept Their Own Names

Quite frankly, I've always viewed the wife taking the husband's name as a holdover from the days when traditional marriage was pretty much just male ownership of a woman. She took his name because she became, in essence, his property. Consequently, the practice has always disturbed me a little. One shouldn't have to change one's identity when one gets married.

[LostinVA]

12. Agreed totally!

If I was a straight woman and married a man, I wouldn't change my last name -- why should I???

[NMMNG]

13. One spouse can take the other's last name

You can each change to a hyphenated version of both names (Jones-Smith/Smith-Jones), you can keep your own names or you can both choose a completely new family name. It's completely up to you--there are no rules. Even many straight couples choose to not have the woman take the man's last name but instead do something different. It's not the 19th century any longer--unless you're a fundie ;-).

[Deep13]

14. My wife kept her own name in our hetero marriage.

The name change is neither automatic nor required.

[littlebit]

15. We are keeping our last names

after we get married in november.