Violent Summer For New York Gays

[davidinalameda]

http://www.365gay.com/newscon05/08/080805nycBash.htm

There have been nearly a hundred attacks on gays in New York City this summer - with the two most recent on the weekend.

Two gay men walking through Chelsea on their way to the Roxy - a popular gay club - were beaten early Sunday morning. One of the victims, a 33-year old, sustained a a separated shoulder and cuts to his face. He was treated and released from the hospital.

Police, who declined to identify the victims, said the men were set upon by two men who spewed homophobic slurs as they beat the pair.

[patricia92243]

1. Well, here goes. My son is gay. I have never told another living soul.

My question has been - in my own mind - but not said to him: Is it worth it? To think that he could actually get beaten up makes me want to cry - sitting right here at my computer.

He'll never have children. He could get Aids.

I think if it were me, I'd just lie and stay firmly "in the closet."

I know I need some counseling, and I am just now coming around to being able to even think of doing that little bit. But it is hard in the South in a very red, conservative town.

I dearly love my son, and this has been very hard. I come from a different generation and it has taken me 5 long years to get just this far.

[Zenlitened]

2. Well, you deserve enormous credit for hanging in there...

... and trying to work it all out. I don't have any easy answers for you, but it seems to me that you already understand the most important thing: your love for your child is what matters most. I wish you both the best. :)

[Rainbowreflect]

3. I think your post just proves that people do not "chose" to be gay.

Please remember that if your son was straight he could still get AIDS. That if your son was straight he could still be attacked for his religion, his politics, or just because someone did like him.
Those of who are straight need to work hard to change peoples views. No one should ever have to hide in the "closet". No one should ever have to pretend to be someone they are not.
Your post is very honest & I agree you should get some help. Try to find a group of PFLAG near you.
Could I also recommend a great book for you. It's called Stranger at the Gate by Mel White.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?EAN=9780452273818&x=4215808
My 70 + year old mother recommended it to me. It really opened her eyes & when I shared with her the hard time a gay friend of mine was going through she bought the book for me to give him.

[patricia92243]

6. Thank you for the link. I'll bookmark this. I thnk this will be a good

first step for me. Truly, thank you and the other other posters for being so kind.

[Rainbowreflect]

8. You are very welcome.

This book really shows the pain a person can go through & cause in other by pretending.
I cannot imagine how hard it was for you son to come out, but bless you for continuing to love him & trying to understand.

[davidinalameda]

4. staying hidden in the closet is no kind of life for anyone

he could still get HIV

he could enter into a loveless marriage with a woman-usually gay men who do that are end up very self-destructive

and if he does come out, he could have children--there are thousands, if not millions, of gays and lesbians that have kids

just be there for your son and tell him that you'll always love him

[reBel_gyrl]

5. Let me first say, Patricia, good for you..

for supporting and loving your son, and for admitting that perhaps you could use help understanding him, and what he is going through. I think for a majority of people it is not a question of whether or not being gay is "worth" the risk of AIDS, discrimination, a family. It's more "This is how I am, not my choice. I CHOOSE to live openly and honestly, despite the risks." Besides hun, anyone can get AIDS, it is not "preference discriminate." And there are more and more options opening up to gay couples that wish to have children. The threat of violence is something all people of every race, nation, creed, religion, sexual orientation, age, and gender have to deal with at some point in their lives. There are close minded ignorant people everywhere, and always will be. Whose to say what you would do in your son's shoes? I think you are very brave for what you have admit here, to strangers. The best any of us can do, gay, straight, or what-have-you, is to educate our children as much and as openly as possible about safe sex, and to encourage open-mindedness in our kids and inform them that there are people in the world that will hurt you for no good reason other than it's Tuesday, DON'T BE ONE.. We cannot get rid of the ugliness and hate in our world, all we can do is teach our kids love and tolerance to combat it.

[mitchtv]

7. if he goe's out "clubbing" get him some mace to carry

A gun is preferable. You can thank so-called Christians for this climate. NYC is one of the better places for gays too, I can't imagine living in the Red zone(flyover states). Encourage him to pick his battles wisely. Honey, it's a tough row to hoe.(Maybe he will adopt someday, or impregnate a surrogate mom. Iwish you the best Gays are family too.