Corvino: Is there one ‘real’ kind of gay sex?

[William769]

This column is about anal sex. So if you don’t like reading about such things, stop reading now.

Many years ago I lived next door to a young born-again-Christian rock singer. (He probably would dislike reading about anal sex. Glad you’re still here, though.) While Jason strongly disapproved of my gayness, he was also fascinated by it, and he constantly asked me questions.

One day I revealed to him that I had never had anal sex. His face brightened. “That’s awesome!” he shouted.

“Why, pray tell, is it awesome?” I asked.

“Because maybe you’ll try it, and then realize you don’t like it, and then you won’t be gay.”

http://www.365gay.com/opinion/corvino-is-there-one-real-kind-of-gay-sex/

[meegbear]

1. And if you don't like it, you become a top ...

QED

[Ian David]

2. I had to look-up "Frottage."

I want to open a club called "The Frottage Cottage."

[The Philosopher]

3. I was going to make a joke

about, "Geeze, I hope not," but then I realized the "real" in the sentence. I hate qualifiers, they're no fun...

[FreeState]

4. Interesting article - it brings up the politics of gay male positioning

I have known gay men who hate anal, love anal, and just don't go there at all. I have also known one gay person who that was all he liked, no foreplay or anything else - just anal sex. I have no problem with anyone doing what they personally are drawn to with a consensual partner. The article though brought something up that has always bothered me.

We as gay men tend to put value judgements on roles one takes during sex. It's the butch fem of lesbian relationships placed on gay male sex acts. It makes no sense to me. A man can be extremely masculine and be a bottom, or not. A man can be extremely feminine and be a top, or not. Most of the time gay men are average masculinity and like what they like. Most gay men I have dated or slept with like both if it goes there. (Most meaning more than 50%, which is to day there are those that do not want to be a bottom, a top, or either.) It drives me nuts when anti-gay or ignorant people ask "who's the women in the relationship?" But then parts of our own community show the same ignorance and brand exclusive bottoms as feminine or less than a top. It's not week to be a bottom, its not week to be a top, its masculine to do either, or nothing at all.

[yardwork]

12. Ahem. "It's the butch fem of lesbian relationships" is also a stereotype.

There are plenty of lesbian relationships that don't conform to the butch-fem stereotype. Many lesbians don't do oral sex, either. Many lesbian couples don't have sex involving strap-ons.

The column makes a very good point and that point extends to all human beings. There is no "normal" kind of sex. Plenty of straight couples do things that are stereotypically considered "gay." Plenty of gay and lesbian couples don't.

[Rowdyboy]

5. That automatic assumption has always irritated the hell out of me....

Who gets to set the rules for gay sex? Is there a committee? I wish I could blame it completely on the straight community but I can't. I've had some gay friends who felt the same way.

Personally, my definition of homosexual behavior is a lot broader and less role based

[Meeker Morgan]

6. It makes a kind of bizarre twisted sense.

That is the one gay sex act explicitly prohibited in the Bible.

[FreeState]

7. I think the Bible prohibits sodomy (thats oral and anal) and onanism (masturbation) n/t

[Meeker Morgan]

9. Nope

Onan was punished for failing to impregnate his widowed sister-in-law. Nothing to do with masturbation. Look it up.

The concept of "sodomy" as a general category is strictly a Christian era interpretation.

"Lying with a man as with a woman" means anal.

Oral sex isn't mentioned at all even by implication. Maybe it wasn't invented yet? :evilgrin:

[Rowdyboy]

11. The problem with using the Bible to condemn or justify anything is that its just too vague....

Levitical law was written for nomadic tribesmen of 1500BC an it really doesn't get too deeply into specifics. Anal sex, oral sex, 69, mutual masturbation, frottage, grinding-none are not mentioned specifically in the Bible. It really isn't relevant for decisions of personal sexuality and I don't think it was ever meant to be. In a world where extreme violence and brutality was even more the norm than it is today, I cannot imagine a "savior" who cared who one sleeps with or in what position.

I just want to know how or why "gay sex" became synomynous with "anal sex". Its a simple question that I've never heard a satisfactory answer for.

[xchrom]

13. Since sex has always been with us & that means gay sex too

The association could come from just about any where.

Be hard to pin that one down.( insert pun here.)

[closeupready]

8. Reading that column, I realize that it may surprise some gay people that we don't all lie.

I am openly gay, and I don't lie about it, and further, when someone (in whom I'm interested) asks me whether I'm a top or bottom, I answer honestly.

This column just provides further evidence, to me, that the closet really twists gay people into these sad examples of how repression destroys communities and people.

[Meeker Morgan]

10. Seriously, when something like this comes up ...

... I wonder how many are still in the closet.

I don't just mean being reticent about being gay while being conventional about gender presentation, I mean seriously deeply closeted.

Could be a larger number than anyone thinks.