Gay, lesbian couples can teach heterosexuals how to improve relationships

[kweerwolf]

Married heterosexual couples can learn a great deal from gay and lesbian couples, far more than the stereotypical images presented by the television show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," according to the first published observational studies of homosexual relationships.

"Gay and lesbian couples are a lot more mature, more considerate in trying to improve a relationship and have a greater awareness of equality in a relationship than straight couples," said John Gottman, a University of Washington emeritus professor of psychology who directed the research along with Robert Levenson, a University of California, Berkeley, psychology professor.

"I think that in 200 years heterosexual relationships will be where gay and lesbian relationships are today," said Gottman, who now heads the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle.

In the first of two papers published this month in the Journal of Homosexuality, the researchers explored the conflict interaction of homosexual and heterosexual couples using mathematical modeling techniques. In the second study, they looked at factors influencing gay and lesbian couples' relationship satisfaction and dissolution.

http://www.uwnews.org/article.asp?articleID=2198

I remember Hay Harry, the founder of the Mattachine Society back in the '50s, claiming that heterosexuals could learn a lot from gay and lesbian relationships. At the time I thought he was being a bit "over the top" (as Harry sometimes could be), but according to this new study, perhaps he was onto something.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

1. Hmmmm

my gay couple friends fuss and fume as much as my husband of 33 years and I do, so I haven't seen evidence of this in my life.

Now, that said.. (putting on flame underwear) I would think that lesbian couples would be pretty proficient at talking things out and doing the whole empathy thing because they are both, you know, women. And let's face it. We just do this better.

[kweerwolf]

2. LOL! No flame underwear necessary.

I knew a lesbian couple who fought like cats and dogs. (I used to assume it was like foreplay for them!) :)

I'm not sure what I think about the study. The whole thing about "greater awareness of equality in a relationship" may just be because both couples in the relationship are of the same sex and thus don't come into the relationship with all the socially-imposed ideas of gender roles ... so they have to work at equality for issues like who does the housework, etc.

It's an interesting study, but I doubt it will have much impact.

[Meldread]

3. LOL.

Apparently you've never seen two angry women warring with each other. It's like watching a gorilla war. Women are vicious, vengeful, evil monsters - I am so happy I am gay. I'd be scared to sleep at night with a woman. I'd end up going to sleep every night praying that she didn't decide to get revenge for something I did ten years ago.

:P

Don't let the sweetness and kindness of women fool you. It's a front for their true nature!

Women just have a better ability at lying and hiding how they feel in public. Once the door shuts, though... wooo... *shudder*

P.S. This is a picture of an angry woman in her true form about to attack and eat another woman. She caught her sneaking glances at her girlfriend. Yes, women eat other women. The secret training program for special techniques for killing is called "Cheerleading".

http://thailand.chiangmai-news.com/images/imnews/steel-robots/predator-c1-2m+-b-1.jpg


P.P.S. I am joking of course, I love women. ;)

[TallahasseeGrannie]

4. Holy Moly! They're onto us, Sisters!

[Sapphocrat]

6. Meldread, I know why you're gay!

You're afraid of women! :P

Oh, wait, so am I... LOL

[Meldread]

7. As well you should be!

William Congreve knew what he was talking about when he wrote, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

Anyone with a bit of sense in their heads should be afraid of a real woman. A real woman knows how to bring you down to your knees in the blink of an eye, and isn't afraid to wait until the right time to spring a trap, either.

[freestyle]

5. I can see this. We work harder with less support.

There is less support, from family, friends, and society for gay and lesbian couples than for straight couples. Good relationships seem harder to come by and we know we have to work hard to sustain and protect them. Also, because there are so few positive images of gay and lesbian couples, some of us put more into making it work to show the world that it can be done.

Having said all that, I learned much of what I know about making a relationship work from my grandparents, who have been married 64 years. They both always worked, and seemed to even out household duties to everyone's satisfaction, including my grandfather doing some cooking and cleaning.