To all my GLBT friends.

[Kerrytravelers]

I would like to apologize.

There has been such rampant homophobic and down right hatred flying all over DU, not just recently, but since I came here two years ago.



-Your equality and civil rights as human beings has been put on the back burner time and time and time again.

-You are the scapegoats, the ones that it's still ok to blame.

-While someone professing what are clearly bigoted remarks would be called on it instantly, with just an apologist or two, you are the ones that people step on in justifying one bit of posturing or another.


These should really be non-negotiable issues any more. Period.






Recently, Mr. kt and I were at Disneyland on Gay Day. It was one of the nicest days. Couples, groups- both large and small, families, multiple generations of families were all there, enjoying their day. I didn't see lewd behavior, which you are often blamelessly accused of. I didn't see naked people running around- which I read just read here on DU today is apparently a telling sign of a homosexual. I only saw people being people- enjoying their friends and families.

And, amazingly, my marriage didn't suffer due to your happiness. In fact, your inequality in marriage only serves to cheapen my marriage in the regards of how can I enjoy something that isn't a right to everyone. You are only as free as your most oppressed citizen. Marriage- in all forms of the word- is being oppressed.

Ok, so I'm a bleeding heart liberal who values civil rights, equality and basic human decency. I educate myself about people who have different experience than me. I listen. I read. I talk to people. Hell, I watch LOGO! Transgeneration was very educational for me and opened up my eyes to many issues facing the GLBT community I hadn't thought about before.




I know I'm not alone. There are other people like me who are just tired of all the inequality. I'm married to one. I know people who feel this way. And, your equality is not something we want to push on the back burner.

Please, let me know what I can do. If it's a thread on the message board, an email or letter I can write or a protest/rally I can go to. Just name it.

[Erika]

1. Many of us have had trouble with closeted gays

Like Mehlman, Drier, Craig, etc. In our criticism of these people, it's not been because they are gay, it's been because they didn't out themselves and be true to who they are. I think some of this has been seen as critical of the gay movement.

[Maven]

5. That is true, however

much of the criticism of hypocrisy has crossed the line into crass comments and jokes about these people being gay. Others have continued to suggest that Bush, Rove, Rush, etc. were secretly "gay by association" because they're evil and repressed, and don't stop even when they're told it's offensive.

[NMMNG]

10. Bingo

I don't know how many times I've tried to explain that to people who either don't get it or don't want to get it.

[silverojo]

2. It's not bigotry

It's a matter of priorities. When people are dying in war, dying of lack of medical care, ALL our rights are being stripped, the issue of ANYBODY marrying--gay OR straight--is naturally lower on the list than these emergency issues.

Are you "bigoted" against the people dying, by not caring as much about them as you do about gay marriage? Or are your priorities simply different from someone else's?

People have different priorities in any election. Calling them "bigoted" for having different priorities is kind of unreasonable. :)

BTW, I'm a lesbian, so I'm hardly "bigoted". I just feel that, right now, it's more important to make sure that Bush can't "disappear" someone, than it is for me to be able to get married.

[mitchtv]

8. I'm too old to wait any longer

I was in this struggle before this war, and NO, I DO NOT WANT TO WAIT
it is not necessary, and yes, there is plenty of bigotry around here.

[ThomCat]

14. We are capable of working on multiple issues at once.

GLBT people have been doing it for decades, working on our civil rights and still being backbone suporters of other causes too.

That is why it really irritates me when straight people use this excuse against us. Straight people are apparently only capable of supporting a very limited number of issues at a time, and for some reason our civil rights is never one of those issues.
:eyes:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. Thank you so much for this post.

And I can say with confidence that DU's GLBT community thanks you as well.

:yourock:

:hug:

[Maven]

4. You have no need to apologize.

You and I haven't really "crossed paths" here before, but I always look forward to reading your posts. You stand up for GLBTs, and you do it with conviction, eloquence, thoughtfulness and compassion. I can tell you actually understand our issues, and you put effort into explaining them to others. Having allies is one thing; having friends who actually come through is another. So thanks.

After the NJ decision and the Foley thing and the Haggard thing, I was really burnt out here, and I know a lot of other GLBT DUers were too. I might have taken a break altogether, but the elections were near and that just wasn't going to happen. ;)

As far as helping out, the NJ decision has created a window for equal marriage in NJ. But as another post in the GLBT section indicates, public opinion is leaning toward civil unions. Luckily, a few NJ legislators have already introduced a bill to legalize full marriage, but there's considerable work to be done.

In addition, now that NY has elected Eliot Spitzer, we can expect equal marriage legislation to hit the NY Assembly after he takes office. And there, too, a good deal of work will be required to get that passed (although even many NY Repubs acknowledge it's pretty much an inevitability). This is an effort in which I will be heavily involved, and I will post any info regarding opportunities for netroots involvement.

Again, thanks. :hug:

David

[LeftCoast]

6. Thanks for posting, though I don't think you need to apologize either

The support is much appreciated, however.

[nofurylike]

7. your words are very touching, kt. your insight and compassion

make you the last who needs to apologize, imho. but i understand that you are expressing sympathy. and it means a lot to me.

thank you thank you!!
may others be enlightened by your example.


peace and solidarity!

[mitchtv]

9. Thanks

I always appreciate your posts. This one more than most

[NMMNG]

11. You don't need to apologize

You haven't committed any of the offenses.

Thank you for your kind words though. :hug:

[meegbear]

12. Thank you Kerrytravelers ...

give a nod of support is all one can ask. :hi:

[cboy4]

13. Your kind words mean more to us than perhaps you can imagine

after what's been a tough going around here.

And I'm not just saying this! :) :hug:

[ThomCat]

15. I am not surprised

that you are the one writing a wonderful post like this. :hug:

[JudyM]

16. You could consider sending something like your post to HRC, to your members of Congress

and as an LTTE. The more often people hear this kind of sane reaction from other straight folks, the less threatening gay marriage will become over time.

:pals:

[Kerrytravelers]

17. I think I will. Thank you for the suggestion.

[spancks]

18. Thank you so much for your post...

...it is nice to know that there is at least one non-LGBT DUer who isn't intentionally obtuse.

MWAH!