What's the Point

[littlebit]

What is the point of a company offering domestic partnership benefits if they make it impossible to get them. My partner has been trying for several months now to add me to her insurance. We have sent then every piece of documentation they have asked for. They keep coming back and telling us it isn't good enough. My license was to old. It didn't prove that I was still living at the same address. So I went and renewed it early. Now they are telling us it is to new. It doesn't prove that I have been living at that address for at least six months. They wanted a bill that was in both of our names. We sent them our car insurance bill and our Am ex bill. They said that wasn't good enough because it wasn't a utility bill. I don't even know and married couples that have utility bills in both of peoples name. It is just getting so frustrating. If we were able to get married or even be recognized legally as a couple none of this would have happened.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. I'm sorry you are having so much trouble

If I ruled the world, you could get married. I still hope this will happen, and soon.

[the arkansas liberal]

2. Get a Copy

of the policy, specifically the requirements for proving your domestic partnership. Follow it point by point and have your HR head review it with you while you provide copies of each item requested. You may ask if you can substitute a notarized statement from co-workers or others who will attest to the fact you and your other half have lived together more than the required time instead of a utility bill. How about your partner's pay stubs? Or a tax return? Do these prove you have been in the same place the appropriate amount of time? Get creative: what if you lived in an all-bills-paid apartment with no phone? That is perfectly legitimate, yet you would never have a utility bill. There has to be an alternative document or else there is a case of discrimination against those in the example I gave.

If your company has DPM I bet they have a non discrimination policy too. If you feel you are being harassed by the fact the documents are never quite good enough then refer to the policy and discuss this as well. A company is legally bound to its policies, even if those policies are better than the law. They can be required to provide what they say they will even in places where your relationship isn't recognized by the municipality.

Good luck.

[littlebit]

4. Thank you so much for the response

We are sending both of our tax returns. Along with bank statements from june-sept of last year. We were told by the insurance company that those documents should be enough. But we were told that my new license would be good enough the last time so I am keeping my fingers crossed . Her company does have a great non discrimination policy. It is ranked in the top 5 By the HRC.

[Warpy]

5. If you're both on a lease or on a mortgage

that should be good enough. If not, it's time to consult an antidiscrimination lawyer. My guess is that a small retainer will be enough to generate the one nasty letter that will get your partnership benefits through.

Good luck and I hope the laws change soon. They need to.

[Zuiderelle]

3. And then when you finally get the benefit, you have to pay gay-only tax on it.

I mean really, what the hell, they should call it that. Gay-only tax is what it is. A husband doesn't have to pay tax on the income that goes towards his wife's insurance and deducts it from his income as a pre-tax deduction, lowering his Taxable Gross Income. But a domestic partner has to pay for the insurance as an after-tax deduction AND must also pay tax on the imputed income of the employer's part of the cost, increasing his Taxable Gross Income by much more than his straight counterpart decreased his.

What the hell? All that computation just so that they can DENY us equal benefits? Do we really give that much more money to our government, who gives us no respect and no equality? And don't get me started on lump-sum taxable pension or 401K retirement benefits for domestic partners, while straight people enjoy full-pension lifetime income or 401K rollover or distribution rights of their spouse.

We've been paying MORE than straight people all along, and why the hell do we put up with people who refuse to recognize us as equal under all laws?

[NMMNG]

6. Yet another reason we need MARRIAGE

Domestic Partnerships/Civil Unions are simply not good enough and never will be. Your experience (and those of countless others) are living proof of that. Companies/agencies will constantly be trying to find loopholes and excuses to get around providing benefits.

We need legal, federally recognized Marriage.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It simply should not be. :hug:

[littlebit]

7. Good news

After providing every piece of documentaion we could think to provide. I am now on my partners insurance. We are paying way to much for it but it is done.

[mitchtv]

8. I have gone through many of the same hurdles

with AT&T finally we presented the property tax bill, and yes we pay "corrected" tax on his benefits