I'm done :-(

[Ediacara]

My husband has been cheating on me a lot, I am just finding this out. I am sooo done.

:-(

[dsc]

1. I am so sorry

That sucks. While I don't think monogomy is for everyone, the people for whom it isn't should be upfront about that fact. You deserve better.

[Ediacara]

4. I ahd always wanted an open relationship

He was WAAAYYYYY against it. Meanwhile, he's fuckign around since basically the day I met him....

[dsc]

7. that is even worse

I honestly don't know what to say to that.

[Ediacara]

12. It's ok :-)

[benburch]

9. Here is what to do.

Take all the money out of your joint accounts, cancel any joint credit cards, and change the locks.

If he will tell you he wanted monogamy when you wanted an open relationship, and then CHEAT on you, he will also do anything he can to hurt you during a breakup.

[Ediacara]

11. luckily we have no shared monetary dealings

I worked at a bank, I know how vindictive divorcing couples can be, I won't get involved financially on principle alone. I unfortunately have a full plate this week, but ya, he's living somewhere else soon...

[Warpy]

15. Hurts like hell, doesn't it?

I'm sorry. I do know what you're going through.

Either you have a committed relationship or you don't. That "open marriage" stuff just never really works, whether you're gay or straight. Even if both partners protect themselves and others with safe sex, somebody always ends up with the short end of the stick, and somebody always ends up getting hurt (either inside or outside the relationship).

Monogamy is boring, but the alternative hurts like hell.

[Ediacara]

16. I actually believe that open relationships can work

But you're right, often times they don't. I feel terribly betrayed though, by the unbelievable lying he does.....

[benburch]

20. Open relationships can indeed work.

But they take total honesty.

[Ediacara]

22. I agree...

Too bad it all came from my end...

[xchrom]

27. i've had several that worked just fine, thank you.

[benburch]

2. Damn.

That is a hard one to take. Want to talk about it? How did you find this out?

[Ediacara]

5. We live in a small town

News travels fast (but aparently not that fast...)

[salinen]

3. So Sorry.

I've been dealing with similar issue. Fucking rips your guts out. Try to stay sane if possible.

[Ediacara]

6. I feel like such a fool

I knew about one instance, but thought (hoped) it was isolated. I feel so dumb for not seeing this a long time ago.

[arwalden]

8. Ouch... I'm Sorry To Hear That.

How long have you two been together? And how old is he?

That's happened to me before, so I have a little idea of what you're going through. It sucks! It hurts!

-- Allen

[Ediacara]

13. Been together 3.5 years

Married, 1.5, he's 24.

[mike_c]

10. dude, I'm sorry to hear that....

Nothing hurts worse in a relationship than lies ABOUT the relationship. Nothing undermines the reasons for staying together more thoroughly. Pack it in-- there is NOTHING to salvage if you are correct.

[Ediacara]

14. Good advice

Stuff I know already but for some reason need to hear from other people to reenforce the issue and make me act on what obviously needs action.

[soleft]

17. I wish you a lot of comfort and strength as you process thru this

I don't know if my ex ever cheated on me physically, but he was - as Jimmy Carter says - lusting in his heart - and the surprise to me was that he wanted out. But that actually was a good thing because we tried to make more out of a what was a friendship than ever should have been.

I don't know if your husband will ever be able to make amends so that you can have an amicable split - but even tho it was a long and at times painful process, we are amicable now, and I'm in a new relationship. So there's lots of healing that can happen after you go thru this very painful time - just want you to know that people can go thru the ringer and happiness does come around again.

[Ediacara]

21. We'll see

I am not sure if want any sort of amicable relationship....

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ediacara]

19. huh?

[Stealther]

23. I'm really sorry for you

*hugs*

[Ediacara]

25. thanks

*hugs* back

[sundog]

24. sorry man

:pals:

[Ediacara]

26. Thanks :-)

[xchrom]

28. dude, that's too bad.

so did he say why he went suicidal on the relationship?

i mean, i'm guessing he probably knew he was burning his bridges?

that's really too bad. makes me sad.

[Dookus]

29. ugh

so sorry to hear it, Dinoboy. I went through a similar thing a few years ago - it's very painful.

[Misunderestimator]

30. On no... I went through that a bit less than a year ago myself...

going through the immense feelings of betrayal is agony. :hug:

At least for me, in retrospect, the betrayal hurried the process in the direction we seemed to be heading anyway, and that's a good thing.

[jonnyblitz]

31. damn that sucks.

I have read your posts, seen your gallery picture, what was wrong with this guy? yes you will get over this as time passes (cliche I know)though it might not seem like it at present. His loss for sure. :hug:

[terrya]

32. I'm really sorry to hear about that.

God, that's awful.

:hug:

T

[LDS Jock]

33. ohh.. I'm sorry.. thats terrible

I've been there, and know the feeling. It sucks. Sorry buddy. :hug:

[davidinalameda]

34. sorry love

we're here for you if you need us

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

35. I'm sorry DinoBoy

But glad you recognize it's over and that he is untrustworthy

[swimmernsecretsea]

36. I'm so sorry...

It's gonna hurt. Let it. But it gets better. Wish I could do something.

[ronnykmarshall]

37. I'm so sorry sweetie!

It sucks. I had the hardest time when I broke up with my last boyfriend.

:hug:

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

38. Sorry!

:( I also have been going through break-up madness, though not quite like yours - mine is bad enough, yours sounds much worse, and for that, you have my total sympathy.

My unsolicited advice: try to do things with friends. If you have too much time on your hands to dwell on it, you'll just get depressed.