Salon: "You're supposed to marry the person you love, Mom"

[Kire]

"You're supposed to marry the person you love, Mom"
My 7-year-old son's best friend is a lesbian and he says he wants to be gay. I hope he is.

By Ayelet Waldman

March 28, 2005 | My 7-year-old son's best friend is a 59-year-old lesbian from Brooklyn, N.Y. Zeke and Laura share a passion for the San Francisco Giants, dark chocolate truffles and New York frankfurters, and have spent every Wednesday afternoon together since he was 6 weeks old. Other than his dad, Zeke would rather be with Laura than pretty much anybody else, including me, and who can blame him. He and Laura go to ballgames, take classes at the science museum, do his homework over brownie sundaes at Fenton's ice-cream parlor, and have a circuit of toy stores they visit on a regular basis.

Laura is the perfect companion for a kid, and had she and her partner been a decade younger, they probably would have had a few of their own. In their generation, it wasn't as common for lesbian couples to have children together. Instead, Zeke and his older sister have been the lucky recipients of these women's devoted attentions. We met because Laura was our investment advisor, but while it may be trite, it is no exaggeration to say that Laura and Hedy are now part of our family.

When Zeke was about 2 and half years old, and was starting to make gender distinctions with the broad strokes of a small child -- boys have short hair, girls have long; boys like trucks, girls like dolls -- he categorically refused to let Laura use the ladies' room while out on one of their excursions. Before that day he hadn't much cared where she landed on the gender-identity scale. At that moment, however, with the absolute certainty of a Ptolemaic astronomer asserting that the sun revolves around the Earth, he directed her to a restaurant men's room. What's most amazing about this story is that Laura obliged. She knocked on the door, checked for unsuspecting men at the urinal and peed in a stall.

A couple of months ago Zeke was telling me about how all the boys in his class had a crush on a particular girl, how it was distracting them from more important activities like reenacting scenes from "The Incredibles," playing 4-Square and assembling Z-cards. I asked him if he also had a crush on this little girl. He wrinkled his brow, thinking about it for a moment. "Nah," he said, finally. "I think I might be gay." Easily, confidently, with no trace of self-consciousness or embarrassment.

More: http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/waldman/2005/03/28/gay_marriage/index.html

[readmoreoften]

1. the most wonderful comment i've heard all day

--He wrinkled his brow, thinking about it for a moment. "Nah," he said, finally. "I think I might be gay." Easily, confidently, with no trace of self-consciousness or embarrassment.--

the idea that a child would be able to say this comfortably to a mother who says, "i hope he is" is really heartening. To hear a parent speak so lovingly about her child and so intelligently about the gender identities of other people is really beautiful.

[xchrom]

2. whether he is or isn't -- it's a wonderful story

about how easily the world can be traveled in the mind of an ''open'' child.

he can say ''i think i might be gay'' and just goes on about his business.

may his joyous journey always be so unfettered.