Chicken shit asteroid veers away at last minute

[lizerdbits]

"Guess it just didn't have the spuds to go through with it," Richard A. Kowalski of the school's Catalina Sky Survey said. "Real big surprise. Maybe you can try again when you accrete a little more mass than 6.32 x 1015 kilograms, okay? Chicken-shit."

Kowalski said that one month ago Asteroid 2009-XG2—nicknamed "Old Limp Dick"—was following a path that, even accounting for heat friction and gravitational pull from other celestial bodies, gave it a 97 percent chance of striking Earth. Further observation and calculations, however, indicated that the asteroid would instead tuck its balls between its legs and change its course by more than 22 degrees.

:rofl:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/chicken_shit_asteroid_veers_away?utm_source=a-section

[valerief]

1. Must have been the fear of torture that kept it away. nt

[trotsky]

2. Oh man I am dying here at work

Trying not to laugh out loud, but tears are streaming. Beautiful, beautiful work once again by the Onion.

[MineralMan]

3. Well, I guess they'll have to cancel the plans to

fire Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney at it.

[frogmarch]

4. I love The Onion!

:rofl:

[Towlie]

5. Nobody messes with our planet! If anyone's going to destroy it, it'll be us.