Lily's blog

[demnan]

I am the Princess Lily
"The Fat One Cometh"
April 11th 2005 7:03 am

Here I am minding my own business enjoying the outdoors when I see them. Grey rats under the bird feeder. How dare they invade my sanctuary! One big one and 2 smaller ones. Do they think I as a dignified cat will allow this?

Mommy sits in oblivion over there. “Aww, baby squirrels”, she says. Baby squirrels my ticked ass! Then she picks up those binoculars (“oh my, are those rats?”, she says). Well I tried to teach her to hunt years ago. But when I brought live mice to her bed all she did was chase them around frantically. No technique, nothing I tried to teach her, nothing. And these creatures are born with large brains? I think not. Good thing she has at least one capable cat here to take care of her.

Which leads me to mention that idiot of an adopted brother of mine over there in the Kitty Walk. Inbred preening human ass-kissing idiot! He wouldn’t know how to catch a rat if his life depended on it. Always over there yowling and trying to get Mommy’s attention, spoiled little Siamese brat.



As I approach the tree, I distinctly hear the mother rat say in her high squeaky voice, “run and hide, children, the fat one cometh”. As everyone knows rats speak in colloquial language, reminds them of their great triumph in killing people through disease during the Middle Ages. And these vile rodents run down the hill and hide by the creek.

Well I have arthritis and I’m nearly 14 which - is pretty old for a cat, but I bravely ignored that to go down to the creek bed and stake out their nest. Mommy raised a fuss that I was too far away from her accepted boundary for me. Well she should know I can take care of myself. After all, I’m not an idiot like the Siamese, I was a skilled hunter in my day before she banished me to the inner city apartment. Now that I am back in my home town again (good old Woodbridge!) and I have some free running space I have looked forward to hunting again. By God I’m going to kill those rats. Impudent rodents!

[Suziq]

1. Demnan . . . .

This is great! Lily is an excellent writer :-)

Really put a smile on my face this morning.




:hippie:

[bertha katzenengel]

2. Well done, Lily. Thanks.

I know I'm just a lowly human and you consider this message your due, I must say that you are a beautiful cat and I wish I could serve your every need. Fortunately you already have a competent slave.

[demnan]

3. Competent! I think just barely!

I don't think any human could be worthwhile, besides I must share her with that . . . thing whom I detest! Now if you get rid of your other cats and keep only me I might allow you the priviledge of getting my nighttime water and petting my belly at breakfest time.

[Misunderestimator]

4. LOL.... I need Lily

[Zuni]

5. Does Lily need an editor or publisher?

I find her writing to be .... compelling.

Thanks, Demnan. Excellent story. I always enjoy your cats.

[demnan]

6. Thanks

Sure Lily could use a publisher, but only one who pays in catnip.

[Zuni]

7. I have got a large vial of Kitty crack at home

fresh and organically grown

[demnan]

8. Purrrrrrrrr!

[Gregorian]

9. Hunting is therapy!

Lily shows very good form. Arthritis or not.
Now Farnsworth may be lazy, but he can also achieve a modicum of cat results. Just this week he was napping when to his surprise, the funny black thing under the chair turned out to be a sleeping bat. I had to intercept the whole thing. It's like that invisible boundary Lily knows. The psychology of the cat.

[Zuni]

11. your cat looks so dignified in that pose and in his tux

what a cute animal

[bvar22]

10. Thanks.

Just made my day.

[BrklynLiberal]

12. Just loved that determined look of the hunter on Lily's face!

[demnan]

13. Oh she's very determined

She's been going over by the creek bed every night. Tomorrow she should have some pictures and blog notes for me to type.

[BrklynLiberal]

14. Looking forward to her next report.

[demnan]

15. Well the computer may come home tonight

The fried motherboard has been replaced.

if so I'll ask Lily to get busy on her blog and her hunting so we can have another installment.