Would you have missed any of this?

[Elidor]

Sometimes, when I take the time to stop and look around, I'm just hit with the incredible richness of this world. All these things we've made, all these ideas we've created and made real, brought to life, are so fantastic. And all the creatures and plants, too myriad to name. You could spend a hundred lifetimes getting to know them all. And the stars. And trees: at the risk of sounding like K-Pax, it was worth coming here just for the trees.

I'm going to enjoy the richness a little while more, and when my time comes, I'm going to move on with happy memories and no regrets. Nothing here has ever really hurt me. Only made me stronger and more aware of love and knowledge. I love the earth, my mother.

[Eloriel]

1. Uh, Where's "Other"?

Actually, much of what you wrote resonates; a bunch of it does not.

I have always been fascinated to be alive "at this time" -- tht is, until the 2000 stolen election, and esp. 9-11, at which point a VERY visceral: "this isn't what I signed up for for my later years" kicked in. I'm trying to get back to that wonder and fascinating and gratitude about being alive at THIS time, but it's been very difficult. I'm also dealing with some personal challenges I need to get on the OTHER side of in order to feel more comfortable about being here.

And, for that matter re "being here," I've always been quite conflicted. It seems the memory of the other side is a bit too clear. Sigh. So part of me has never even wanted to be here, even when I found it wonderful and fascinating.

Another big sigh. It doesn't help being a mess of contradictions. :evilgrin:

[azoth]

2. This resonates with me...

I have lots of what I call "Mother Ship" moments, as in 'Mother Ship, come take me away...'. It's just a little tongue-in-cheek sentiment for the feeling of not belonging here, that the mass consciousness isn't something I'm really part of, that this is NOT my thing. I totally grok what you say about never wanting to be here.

And then, of course, I'm required to take the figurative step back and regain my sense of Purpose, the notion that I'm here to teach and help make change happen...so that this lovely planet we've been gifted with in this physical manifestation, and those entities who share it with us this go'round, can become something more, something better, something a wee mite closer to how it's "supposed" to be.

It's hard, ultimately, to be grateful for this existence sometimes. Especially when it feels so out-of-sorts in the spiritual/physical connectivity area.

edited to add clarity, hopefully

[Eloriel]

5. Well put -- I agree with all of it

I don't have the Mother Ship image -- just the Mother. LOL.

[Elidor]

3. I'm a "mess of contradictions" myself

I can be downright buddhist in my outlook one day, then turn around and behave like a neanderthal the next. I'm officially a pacifist, but I have violence in my heart. Some people say I'm very mellow and easy-going, others that I'm a cantankerous personality (a dear friend once announced that I'm an "asshole-in-training"). Some people think I'm brilliant, and others will swear I'm a dumbfuck. And I'm all that, and much more.

You have strong memories of the other side? I wish I did. I yearn to explore it at great length. First, I want to explore all the rings of...I guess you'd call them rings of awareness...around the earth. Then the structure of time and energy. I think that would keep me busy for a while. What a fascinating universe. It's like slowly unwrapping the biggest present there ever was, bigger than all of creation, and it takes longer than eternity to do it. And it's all good. I gots my wa back. :)

[Eloriel]

4. Not so much that I have actual memories,

just the certain conviction based on certain knowledge (that I've just forgotten) that "over there" is better by far than here, and it ain't just that the grass is greener (it's also that said grass never needs to be CUT! ba-da-bing).

Seriously.