My husband left me this morning-please help me

[disillusioned1]

I'm relatively new here, but I don't know where to turn. I read this forum regularly. This event has ruined Christmas for my family, I can't lean on them any more than I have already today.

I'm devastated. I need to understand this. I'm aware that Saturn is in my sign until June, but nothing else. Someone please help me. I can pay for advice. Thanks.

[NMDemDist2]

1. oh no! I'm so sorry what a horrible shock on the holidays

there are lots of astrologers here, but I know Nancy is away for the holidays

I believe Pallas180 is a professional astrologer also, perhaps you can PM her?

there is a higher good available to you, faith is not the absence of storms, rather it is the peace within the storm. Try and find that core of strength that is your birthright and ask the universe for help, don't live up to your DU nick, take away the power of the label of 'disillusioned' and find a word that is faith and power

in the meantime :hugs: to you and your family and a blast of etheric strength for you to get through this shock

[disillusioned1]

3. Thank you. eom

[disillusioned1]

23. Thank you for the PM, AZDem

I haven't replied for a day or two because I couldn't find my thread, having trouble concentrating.

I am hanging in there. Thanks to ALL of you that gave support, advice and hugs. It truly helps.

I have talked to an attorney and he's given good advice.

This won't kill me, but it will bend me to the breaking point. I'm preparing myself for the worst.

Thanks again, you're a wonderful group of people.

[NMDemDist2]

24. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

give the "stronger" part more power and try not to dwell on the "breaking point"

remember willows bend a lot, yet never break :)

:pals:

[Delphinus]

2. My heartfelt sympathies, disillusioned1.

Never a good time for something like this.

Do you have any family members or friends near by? Hugs will help an awful lot. :hug:

Blessings,

PS - there is someone on the board here who does Vedic interpretations. I just had one done by the gentleman who wrote an article for educateyourself.com and was blown away by its accuracy. The person here is kineta.

[disillusioned1]

4. Thanks eom

[jrthin]

5. I am so sorry.

Wish there was something I could say or do that would may your situation more bearable, but unfortunately there isn't. What I can say though, and it is true, you'll get through this and you'll be okay.

[latebloomer]

6. What a terrible time for him to leave you!

Not that there's any good time. Is there any hope for reconciliation? Do you have children? Have you gone through marriage counseling?

I don't know what to tell you except that you need to go through all your feelings-- grief, rage, fear, whatever. A good therapist would come in handy to help you sort it all out.

[disillusioned1]

7. Thank you for responding

We've been married 20 years, no children. I went to counseling without him because he refused to go.

He emptied out the bank account yesterday and left this morning.

[LWolf]

8. I can't give you any astrological information

or advice; I'm not an astrologer.

But I can give you a big :hug: and send warm, comforting thoughts your way. And I am.

He has an interesting sense of timing, doesn't he? Mine waited until after new year's to spring his big announcement. I don't know if it made any difference; we all knew something was wrong, and he kept protesting that everything was fine, it was just him, blah blah blah. It made for a tense holiday.

I was...I don't know if devastated is the right word. Flattened. Destroyed. Hopeless.

If it helps at all, that was 4 years ago, and while it was a long, hard process, I'm happier now than I was then. Healing happens.

:grouphug:

[disillusioned1]

9. Thank you eom

[Digit]

10. You might want to speak with an attorney

To get some advice to protect yourself, financially.
It is difficult enough going through the emotional upset without piling on being left penniless.
Since he emptied out the bank account, you may be without funds for awhile.
I assume you also either have a mortgage or lease, so some planning might be in order.
He might also be back for the furniture....would he take all of it?
Depending on your situation, you may want to change the locks.
Sorry to bring up some tough questions, but I am concerned for your overall well-being.
I have been in your position before.
You will get through this, and you will emerge stronger.

[disillusioned1]

11. Thank you

I will go to the bank on Friday, if they're open, and start my own account with my payroll check.

The last thing I want to do is fight. At this point, the furniture doesn't matter much to me. Even if I changed the locks, his best friend owns a locksmith business.

[Digit]

13. Only the attorneys win when there is a fight

I would hope that things work out for you two and maybe just some counseling is in order.

[propagandafreegal]

12. I'm sorry for your loss... :( How long were you married? ro..

You are better off w/out him if he can be so callous.

[cassiepriam]

14. I am so sorry to hear what you are going thru..

The important thing for you right now is to be safe. Now is not the time to make major life decisions. Now is the time to deal with the immediate practicalities of your emergency.

If you think your husband may came back to hurt you, then please call the police and/or go stay with someone else. Please call your counselor, or you can call a crisis center or hot line. Perhaps a friend or relative can come stay with you. And please go see an attorney asap, not to fight, but to get some protection and find out what your rights are.

Listen to what the wise people on this board are telling you. Take care of you for right now, and make sure you are safe. You can sort it all out later. Then you can begin to deal with your pain, your loss. And begin to face what is scaring you, and to get in touch with your courage.

[disillusioned1]

15. All good advice

Thank you.

[Pallas180]

16. Disillusioned - all excellent advice from the DU'ers. What you need

right now is to follow through with an attorney as said above, to find
out what you can do for yourself.

CALL THE CREDIT CARD PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY AND TELL THEM YOUR CARDS WERE
STOLEN AND TO PLEASE REPLACE THEM WITH A DIFFERENT CARD NUMBER.

That way he won't be able to use them, but you still will be able to.
Also call the credit card number on the back of the card and find out if he has maxed them out. Go online with the credit card company and
find out where he's been using the cards. Print it out.

You don't need an astrologer right now...that can all come later.
Handle the crisis right now of protecting yourself financially and physically.

Never mind that his friend is a locksmith.

You change the locks. If he breaks in, you can report it as a robbery/burglary because those locks have been changed.

THINK OF YOU NOW.

Cause no one else is.

YOU ARE WOMAN. HEAR YOU ROAR.

[disillusioned1]

17. I'm on hold right now with the credit card company

I would not have thought to do that! Thank you so much.

[NuttyFluffers]

19. very sensible advice, that is.

and my condolences for your trying period now and to come. come back here in a few for a report and moral support. but yes, right now is the time to set up defenses.

:hug:
this too shall pass.

[G_j]

18. no real advice but..

sending love your way. I am so sorry to hear of your heartache.

:loveya: :hug:

[Pallas180]

20. Disillusioned,

I don;t know if you belong to a religious group or not,
but Monday get on the phone and call your local church, synagogue or
whatever and ask if they have a women's group that has meetings.

If you call Unity (get info at 1 800 555 1212) they will say prayers for you and with you.

If there is a Religious science or Science of Mind church around (non sectarian) they have trained people they call "practitioners" who you can talk to, and who will have some positive words for you. It costs nothing if you can afford nothing - or $10 if you can. They also have a woman's group that meets once a week usually, for free.

You've been going to a counselor so I would get on the phone with that person and ask where there is a group for abused women.You'll find in-person support there among women in the same situation.

Although your "rat" took off on Xmas day, it is not uncommon for breakups to happen around the holidays - so you're not alone.

The next thing you need to do starting sometime this week, is to say to yourself "I forgive him and release him to his highest good" and "I forgive myself and release myself to my highest good".

May not be true at this moment, but the words have power, and it will become true - the necessity to say it is to keep YOU from becoming ill.

Finally, if you're in a little boat with another person, and only one person is rowing - not much progress can be made - so don't blame yourself - in fact it sounds like you were doing everything you could to save what may have been an untenable situation - sometimes there's a time to give up, and move on. With breakups and divorces, the person who was trying to work at it, often feels guilt that they failed. YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL GUILT. Know that you did what you could and you didn't get coopertion, so it's not your failure.

From a woman's point of view, men can be very strange ducks.

I have a friend who I've known for 30 years. I always thought she had a great marriage. Never heard them argue or raise voices once.
They had been marrried for 50 years and had three grown children and many grandchildren.

She went away on a trip to Europe, which her husband didn't want to go
to. She was away for 10 days. When she got home, all his clothes and belongings were gone, but after 50 years he had the courage to leave her a note.

He left her for a man - after 50 years he had decided he was gay. (and she didn't have a clue. So think about that.

[silverlib]

21. Hope you are hanging in there....

I wish you peace -

Let us know how you are doing.

[mrgorth]

22. See a Dr. too

I've been hving some family trouble of late and my Dr. has saved my life. Yes, I'm on anti-deps but no I'm not doped up. They helped me cope unbelievably. Without them I'd be divorced, fired and maybe dead.

[disillusioned1]

25. I'm hanging in there

I'm trying to stay busy while off work this week to keep my mind off my troubles. Thanks to everyone that replied, I received great advice, just like I knew I would. Hugs to all.

[onecent]

26. I went thru a divorce almost 30 years ago...and rest assured

things DO seem at their lowest point. In my instance, I can only say when I look back it was the most terrifying and lonely time of my life...but it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me.

It took me some time to figure that out...but I was going the right path...I was going where I needed to go.

Hang in there, stay in present time, and take a day at a time.

Hugs