By the pricking of my thumbs,

[davsand]

Something wicked this way comes…

In the space of a month our departmental car at work has been vandalized twice, one of my office mates had a cement block (brought to the house by whoever did it!) thrown thru his patio doors at two am, my other office mate had to repair a tire on his truck, and I found a Stanley Work Knife broken off in my car tire…

I’d be inclined to tell myself that this is all just a series of random events, except for the fact that I’m having some really AWFUL dreams of late. This is not some random strangeness, there’s something pretty bad out there. If my dreams are any indicator, it is getting closer.

My last really bad one was so freaky I have to put it out here for analysis because I’m just not able to seperate from recent events enough to do any kind of impartial work with understanding it.

Stop reading now if you are especially sensitive to visual images—ok?

___________________________________

The dream:

I am in an office setting that feels like some kind of mental health/drug intervention program. It is a party/celebration type thing with what feels like office mates and clients/visitors present.

There is a teen boy there who has been a client, and I feel a special bond with him like he’s the kid of a friend or a kid I’ve known in a context other than work. I’m talking to him about making some kind of mistake, getting in trouble, and not making a poor choice next time. He’s sheepish and assures me he’ll not be doing it again. I hug the kid and drape an arm around him while I’m walking him out.

I see the boy to the door at the end of the hallway, turn around to go back to the party room. I hear screaming start in the big room I’ve just left with that boy. A bunch of kids run out of the room and the screaming continues behind them. I know there is violence behind the children and I tell them to run outside if they can or to lock themselves in an office.

The kids escape, and I turn to go into that room where the screaming has stopped. As I turn, a man comes walking down the hall toward me and he’s carrying a bloody cheese slicer. I can see bits of flesh sticking to it and blood on that wire. I know he’s been carving people up with it. I have a mental image of him cutting a woman's face with it.

He sees me looking at that cheese slicer and says in a very conversational tone that he just hates it when the hair gets stuck on that wire because it is so difficult to get off when it is wrapped around.

He’s very non-plussed and he’s talking to me like he’s just talking about the weather or what time the bus will arrive at the bus stop. That low key conversation from him is just chilling because I KNOW he’s been killing people just seconds before and will probably come at me next.

At that point I startled awake.

That dream has haunted me now for about ten days. I can’t get my head around the violence in it, and I can’t shake the feeling that there is some very real nastiness out there headed in my general direction.

I’m not a shrinking violet in the physical world (as you all may have realized by now, having seen photos of me on a picket line!) nor am I afraid of what lies “betwixt and between.”

I tend to have bad dreams when stress hits a certain level in my life, and usually those dreams do involve some element of personal fear or risk. They do not usually involve images as chilling as these were, nor do they usually involve actually confronting whatever it is that poses the threat.

I dunno. I’m stymied, and I do hope you guys can offer me some insight here.

Any ideas?


Laura

[LaurenG]

1. Wow I'm sorry Laura that is a really tough dream

I think you must be way past stressed with whats happening in your waking life. What piece of your life has symbolically been sliced or cut away. Has anything happened that represents cutting away or slicing into "the female" aspects in your life? Also, hair can sometimes symbolize the types of thoughts we have. I think dreams can foretell future events if only symbolically but I tend to feel that you've been under a lot of pressure in your current circumstances and the dream was about now.

:hug:

[davsand]

3. Work. My professional life has been completely up-ended.

It clicked when I saw your response. This is a really BAD work dream. I should have spotted that earlier, but didn't...

The last couple of years have been bad ones for me in my workspace. As you guys know, I brought a world of hurt down on myself earlier this year when I went public about the abuse of women in that workplace. It is looking increasingly like I might still lose my political appointment (job) next Spring because of it.

I have been forced to stand and watch while even more bad things happen there, and the taxpayers are being hurt now along with the office staff. Not only is the staff still subjected to the problems and physically endangered, but now I'm seeing taxpayers get screwed out of refunds due them.

I'm seeing an entire system completely undone by one man run wild with no interest in fairness or even following the laws. Similarly, I'm seeing situations where my ability to help anyone is shut down because of one person and his acts of egoism.

Literally, I have been to the State's Attorney several times and they are "unable" to help. Similarly, I have contacted the state and they are not willing (or able) to intervene. As it stands right now, I have some people who DO understand and care, but they are in the minority.

We are in the center of a train-wreck and at this point I expect the legal ramifications to grow exponentially. Right now I can think of at least four different lawsuits in the works, and there will be more if this stuff continues unabated.

I have been considering walking away. With this last election, there are most likely new opportunities for me in different political arenas, and I have been looking at that. I hate to give up, I hate to walk away from my oath to the people, and I hate to discard the education that I have invested in this work. But I'm thinking this might be the time to walk away...

I got led back to this for a reason, and I have tried very hard. I have to wonder, however, if maybe my time there needs to end.

Thanks.


Laura

[Why Syzygy]

17. oh wow

I didn't read this part until I had posted my bs at the end.


The only way I know to give support, most of the time, because I am not always upbeat,
is to share. And I don't ever know if it is appropriate or not.

You certainly do have some bad energies working against you.
I do too. I keep asking, what do I need to do.
How can we make this turn out right.
People are unable to hear me. They just blow up and have no clue that I just said, I'm willing to be on your team. Just talk to me.

It is so hard to walk away from those situations that I think should work out for the better good, but there is no cooperation.

Like you, I have invested everything I can and there is Zero return. Some people literally have the power to screw up my life as I know it. I so wish I was like other people who have all the answers. I did at one time. I had a solution for everything.

But now I'm in the dark. I just go, what happened? The only answers I get are, go wash your car.
No one is accountable any more. Not the way that I used to view things. I thought we were.
But, no, don't think about it, go wash your car. That will make everything better.

I'm so sorry you can't make change. I've been a Don Quiote my whole life. But they are windmills. THey are not going to change just because someone with ideals show up. I'm really tired of charging and trying to hold account when everyone else just settles. I'm tired. I give up. Gonna try that for a while.

Peace to you.

[DemExpat]

2. Reading your dream through my experiences and dreams, Laura,

if this were my dream I would see it as a very vivid depiction of how I feel at present - very vulnerable, afraid of harm/violence coming to those I care for and about.

This isn't strange with all of the stuff happening around your office and with your colleagues!
This horrifying violence in your dream takes place in a space/office party that revolves around helping people, and then the unspeakable happens, randomly, coolly, matter-of-factly.

I tend to think that this is the fear many of us have, as parents, as sensitives focused on trying to help others - when we are forced to face the reality that bad things happen beyond our control, and that there are people out there who have no qualms about harming others....


I have had many periods in my adult life where I have been tormented by very similar dreams, and none have been foreboding of personal disaster. I see them as playing out the deeper feelings that we are dealing with in sometimes more stressful times.

I usually write down such chilling and graphic dreams which helps me to put them in a place or space outside myself. Often the writing them processes the feelings better for me, and defuses the fears.

Hope you feel better about the unpleasant occurrences taking place very soon.

One year in the 1990s we had 2 of our cars stolen from our street while we were sleeping, and one attempt to break into our house. This really threatens one's sense of security in the world!

:hug:

DemEx

[davsand]

4. You hit a nerve there.

DemEx,

You really hit home when you said, "I tend to think that this is the fear many of us have, as parents, as sensitives focused on trying to help others - when we are forced to face the reality that bad things happen beyond our control, and that there are people out there who have no qualms about harming others...


Yes, I have finally encountered a person who has the ability to be harmful and it just doesn't seem to register on him. For a long time I refused to see it, then I refused to admit to myself WHAT I was seeing, and now I'm just amazed at how long it has gone on and how "in your face" the whole thing is.

That person is in the workplace--just as he was in the dream.

As for the car theft and attempted break-in, I know exactly what you mean about it messing with your sense of security. After I pulled that blade out of my tire I was seriously creeped out. I still am. I still inspect my tires, my car, and my office when I get there. I keep lights on in the house and even outside now. I even discussed the idea of a gun with my husband...

Thanks!


Laura

[Cleita]

5. You seem to have a combination of a warning dream mixed

with a stress dream. You stated on another post, "I'm seeing an entire system completely undone by one man run wild with no interest in fairness or even following the laws."

I think the warning is to be very aware of this person. Document every encounter you can that you have with him or are able to observe him. Sometimes when I was in such a situation, I actually kept a diary that I usually filled after work, but if something important was happening I updated it with trips to the ladies room to make sure I was able to get everything down accurately if there was a blow-up. In one job I even tape recorded conversations with a destructive co-worker secretly with a small recorder in my pocket, for backup. (I never had to use it but I had it just in case.)

I found this really useful because I found out the hard way at one job that I was set up as the scapegoat for an audit. I was able to convince the auditor that I wasn't responsible and not allowed to look at many of the bookkeeping entries. I never allowed myself to be used that way again.

You may never have to use your documentation, but you will feel better if you have it. This is what your dream is telling you to do.

[cassiepriam]

6. My .02.

I think that you are beginning to show signs of a significant stress reaction from the work place dysfunctionality.

And while you have felt some distance from it all and have placed yourself in the role of helper, it is traumatizing you more than you have realized.

I think at some point you may need to thing about exiting this toxic situation if the dreams continue and or stress symptoms being to manifest in terms of your physical health.

BTW I do not see the dream as literal, but symbolic of the psychological danger
all around you.

And not to be graphic but the whole cheese slicer business is quite interesting.
I am still thinking about what it means. In significant dreams there is usually one big
piece that doesn't quite fit. And in yours it is the cheese slicer, which generally is not seen as a weapon capable of killing/harming others. More an instrument of torture I would say in this scenario. A man who uses every day issues to torture and hurt others?
Or a man who is really weak underneath but has managed to terrorize everyone?

[davsand]

7. This is a situation where the smallest thing becomes a battle.

The only hope of having a good day (one free of combat) is when he's not there. It is a bad scene that is not showing much sign of improvement in the near future because this man has another 18 months left in his term!

My office shares a suite with this man's department and I share two half time secretaries with him. He is the "keeper" of information my office needs to do our work and he withholds it when he wants to punish or control us.

My office is there to provide oversight and correction for the work his office does. We are where the taxpayers go for help, and we have been unable to meet our legal obligation (in some cases) because of his interference and withholding of materials.

I used to actually be IN this man's employ and took a pay cut and gave up "job security" to move to where I am now. Yes, there is a significant amount of stress here, and yes, I know it has had direct impact on my health both mental and physical.

In many ways, I have had to learn some major things about myself in the last three years. Some are good--like learning to go to the gym to burn off tension rather than reach for food. Other things are not so good like learning that I really AM capable of sustaining anger on a long term basis.

This is a man who lives for control. He has never realized that the only control any of us has is over our own decisions and actions. He gets violently angry when opposed or questioned, and literally there is something lurking there under the surface that is only visible when he's angry.

One of my office mates is ex-military, used to jump out of airplanes, flew hot air balloons professionally, and lived for a few years in Central America in a remote village. He's not EXACTLY the kind of guy that gets rattled easily. He's had a couple of encounters with my old boss that left him feeling unsettled! We have discussed more than once the fact that we wonder just how safe we are in the workplace.

At one point he was in our office space ranting about "you people" and how we are creating such problems. He has screamed at me that I'm not "doing my job" because I have refused to sign paperwork that I knew to be incorrect (and possibly illegal). He depersonalizes us whenever he's mad and THAT is what is so chilling...

This guy is somebody that if you met him socially you'd walk away thinking he was kind of uptight, but socially functional. It is only when you challenge him or when he's attempting to control you that you will see that other aspect of his behavior.

Recently, I spoke to someone on the board who was a part of this guy's review. He told me that in his opinion this man is dangerous. During his annual review he sat and claimed that every problem cited in his review was due to a conspiracy carried out by his entire office staff, my office, 18 Assessors who are elected, the State's Attorney's office, and certain members of the County Board.

I told the State's Attorney 8 months ago that I'm afraid for the physical safety of all of us who work in our building, and I still am. I honestly think this guy could be the one who goes postal and his neighbors will tell the media later "Yep, we KNEW he was nuts and nobody did anything about it."

I'm thinking maybe that cheese slicer represents a tool that looks harmless enough on first glance, but it is capable of inflicting great harm.


Laura

[cassiepriam]

8. Funny but as I started reading this post

I knew that the guy in question is paranoid and dangerous.

And then the later part of the email confirmed it.

Part of you knows all of that, he is capable of a lot.

Can you get a transfer further away from him?
Your dream is showing the degree of stress and trauma,
which is taking a toll on you.

[davsand]

9. This is government. I can quit or else put up with it.

There is no moving to a new office, there is no way to do what I do in a different location.

I got to a point while I was his direct employee that I was put on both tranquilizers and anti-depressants. I was waking up with panic attacks that were so bad I started to use a night light (I'm middle aged and had never used one in my life before then!)

I still wake up some nights with panic attacks, but it is less often. I'm down now to just Xanax a few times a week (usually only the nights I don't go to the gym) and I now realize WHY I feel so wrung out all the time.

I'm exercising, supplementing with stress level B complexes, and I am doing all I can to reduce contact with him. I still refuse to set foot in my office in non-business hours, and I will not go into any social setting where I expect him to be present. That is about all I can do short of quitting my job--which means giving up my family's health insurance.

For the first time in my life I actively bear someone ill will. You have to know it is no place I want to be, but I'm feeling trapped for now.


Laura

[cassiepriam]

10. The trapped feeling is not good

and your dreams are reflecting that.

Most gov't websites have internal job postings, you can't apply for any of those? In federal and state system there are usually ways to get out of an office. Do you have any contacts who might help you?

Do you have regulations about hostile work environment?
Has any one thought to file, or is every one too scared?
Has anyone checked with HR? Or too many repercussions?

[wickfordbard]

11. Those thumbs - ruled by Mars

Is this about repressed anger on your part? That could cause the fear in you - not letting your Mars have enough room to maneuver, so the anger backs up into fear and stress.

I'd like to give you a different view of your dream. Before i begin, I'm going to assume that the 'man' in your dream does not, in fact, look like the real man that you have trouble with. If the dream wants to tell you to beware of the real guy, then it will be him in the dream. Since I don't know for sure which guy it is, I'll go with an interpretation based on the man with the cheese slicer being a stranger to you.

But usually dreams do not tell us things that we know. they let us in on something that we've been missing. And it is also important to remember that the dream figures are all you - unless that 'man' is that man in reality.

So, the dream begins in an office setting - a gathering about mental health. I know you're stressed, but the dream begins with a party. What are you celebrating?

You're giving advice to a young man who's gotten into trouble. What have you done lately that might have gotten you in trouble and which you've learned from? Some part of you that still young and untried.

Then there's all the children who run out of the room - what new energy is being scared away by this 'man'?

The man himself is devoid of feeling - if he is a part of you, where are you getting numb? Mars can be a cold, hard killer energy when not connected to. And because this apsect of you is numb, how have you been slicing things a little bit too fine - how has this part of you 'disfigured' who you really are? He sounds like your inner Taliban terrorist - stopping you in your tracks with fear, twisting your thoughts (hair) around and around this blade - where are you thoughts at the moment? Stuck going round and round in fear?

While you may not be able to get rid of the real guy, you do not have to live in fear. You need to deal with your own inner 'slicer' who keeps you in terror even more than the real guy.

[davsand]

12. Oh--there's no doubt I am angry.

I am angry with that abuser and I am angry with the people in my party who have allowed him to continue. I am angry with myself, to some extent, because it took me almost a year to recognize what he is and do anything about him. I am also feeling frustrated and angry at the futility of it all--my own lack of ability to do anything to help or even protect--myself or anyone else.

I have been in "trouble" lately with the Democratic party because I've broken the silence and spoken publicly about what is going on. I have become estranged from a group of people that I have identified with for several years. I trusted them to do the right thing and stop him and I feel let down that they allowed him to continue.

The kids running from the room were mostly girls--little girls. I have to wonder if those girls might be my own belief and trust in the local Democrats that I've worked so hard to elect in the past. I remember saying in the dream that they should get out or "lock yourself in an office," and that sounds pretty darn literal to me in this context.

As for numb... Well I guess you could say I'm becoming numb to the entire mess. We've been discussing that if nobody else gives a crap about the workers and the taxpayers maybe we shouldn't bother either. My office has ALWAYS put service to the taxpayers and following the laws above all other things. It is rapidly becoming evident that not everyone shares that same level of commitment.

We have all worried at times that we were being TOO much the sticklers for procedure and the laws. When it is all over and done--at the end of the day--the laws are about the only thing we can cling to, really. Maybe that is the cheese slicer--I honestly can't answer on that--nothing else comes to mind. I have begged the State's Attorney to TELL us if we are being too butt-wound, but so far they seem to agree with us most of the time.

I have been out on a limb now for about two years with this mess. I stood up because I thought it was wrong to let anyone abuse women in the workplace the way he abused me. I have paid the price for that decision to stand in just about every possible way, and maybe I've finally hit the point that I can't afford to pay anything more.

I dunno.

Thanks for your insights, wickfordbard, and have I mentioned yet today how happy we are to have you with us?

:)


Laura

[wickfordbard]

13. Maybe those little girls are what you have to concentrate on.

Take care of yourself now - maybe it's time to leave - you've done all you could and now it's time to take care of life - not politics.

Thanks again for the welcome. Love you all too.:+

[cassiepriam]

14. I agree, time to job hunt and get out as soon as you can. nt

[davsand]

15. Cassie, you are so supportive of us all, I swear!

It never fails that I read a thread on here and you are working to help. I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate you!

Thanks so much.


Laura

[Why Syzygy]

16. Laura .. I think this is a good sign

Please hear this .. dreams are not real. I don't know who your office mates are or why a bunch of stuff is going down on that. Sounds like that needs to be investiagated by real time cops.

I'm going to give you a brief replay of the worst nightmare I ever had. Though there were some before, like when my sister was levitating, and another when I was in a chair that dragged me around a parking lot. And I learned lucid dreaming to get over the tornados that came. At that time I started calling on Jesus in my dream. You can step into dreams and make them stop and change directions.

So when I had the best dream of my life one night and the worst ever the very next night ... I had to do lucid.

There was violence. There was a dark woman who was eating people's brains. I can't beleive I'm writing this because I thought that meant I was insane. She pretended to be someone I knew but I could hear her in the other room eating people's brains. I climbed up on a tall bookshelf and tried to hide, but when she came back she spotted me right away. She had an oar, from a boat and started trying to knock me off the shelf. That's when I went lucid and grabbed the oar away from her . and . sorry to say I had to smack her with her own weapon. But she didn't get to eat my brain. Which was her intention.

When I learned lucid tornados were everywhere. No escape. I started out with a simple chant, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I'm not into Jesus any more. Call on whoever you need. Banish the evil.

On simple terms, the dream, as you tie it in may be about the bad stuff going on. I know that when I had the dreams about the chair that would not stop tearing me around a parking lot, my life was out of control. I was in a very destructive relationship. It was out of control until I got on a plane and left the scene.

What does this cheese grater person represent to you. Don't be afraid. It is a symbol and part of your psyche that is trying to communicate with you. What would happen if you stepped up and said give me the grater, you sob. The people who got their brains eaten in my dream were a husband and wife who were fighting. They came in the house and could hear them just ranting. I didn't even thing about bringing them back. The cheese grater guy is trying to cleanse you.

You haven't told the whole story because you haven't mentioned why people are coming and slashing tires. Someone is pissed off.

I have a neigbhbor now who is not happy with me. He is into drugs big time. I just want peace, so I try to lay low and not invok his wrath. There are a lot of really angry people out there.

But they cannot eat my brain. Protection is not something I know a lot about. I pretty much just come off wide open.

For the dream state, the only thing I can recommend is lucid. So you get to be in control.
For real life, I don't know. There are vampires. I don't even believe in evil. I think if someone honks at me, they are having a really bad day. Because who does that?

When some guy comes at me with a cheese grater, I go, like wow. Isn't that really inefective, and what do you need? Most times they won't tell you. So you step away and hope that someday, sometime they will figure out what went wrong. Otherwise they end up as people who have been destroyed and cannot think of anything else than to destroy. It is totally sad. The best you can do is get out of their path. I learned to make myself invisible. I don't exist to those people.

If you have gone visible, then. hey, stuff is going to happen.