Have you ever taken a "leap of faith"?

[SeattleGirl]

That is, have you ever moved forward on something, even if it didn't appear that everything was in place? Ever just said, "this" needs to change (whatever "this" is), and just taken that important first step? And how did it work out for you?

I'm asking this because that's where I'm at right now. I need to change something, something major, and there are a lot of things that do not appear to be in place, yet this feeling that I have to just "do it" just gets stronger. I'm not talking about being irresponsible. Rather, I'm talking about that internal feeling one can get (or, at least, I can get) that says, "Take the step. It will be okay. You will find what you need to make your journey."

As some of you know, I have recently changed companies, and while I have a few cases, I need more. I'm in debt, and am looking at perhaps having to file bankruptcy, as I don't see a clear way out of the financial problems. (Chapter 13, not Chapter 7, as I do feel I should pay whatever it is I can pay.) I have nothing in savings, as it has all gone to keeping the lights and water on. And, most significantly, I want out of my marriage. It's not because my husband is a creep or an ass or anything; he's not. He's a good and decent man, but for me, there are some essential things missing, which I have talked to him about on more than one occasion, but nothing has changed. And yes, we have done counseling, we've talked ourselves blue about things, I've tried changing some things about myself, and yet nothing overall changed. My dread is that I will hurt this man who does not deserve to be hurt, and yet I have the feeling that until I take a step, some step, toward changing things, I will remain stuck in the mire. I feel that once I take that step (whatever that step is), that it will open the floodgates to bigger and better changes, not only for me, but for him also.

I've been through this before -- not these particular circumstances, but rather, taking the leap of faith. And things DID work out for the best, not only for myself, but for others that may have been connected to or affected by my actions. To tell the truth, I know what I need to do, but I think what I want, or need, is some support or encouragement, or just positive stories from others.

I don't like feeling frozen in place the way I feel now. I'll get out of it, but damn, right now I kind of feel alone.

[Why Syzygy]

1. my most important

lessons have come when I just knew something was right for me. I had no idea how it was going to work out .. still to this day. I don't know how I went back to school full time when I was 43. I was with a man who kept telling me I needed to go work at the potato chip factory. I kept saying, no, I'm going back to school. He didn't last, but school laid a foundation that I cherish to this day. Can't say it reaped a lot of rewards in the world's terms. But I don't regret it for a moment. Also met some awesome people who are still an inspiration to me. Learned a lot about myself.

I can't advise on the husband issue. I have sometimes regretted when I had one who would not stand up for me and I fell out of love with him. He was safe. But even through that, which also hurt my son, I learned that I don't need a dude to take my defense. Who knew the whole time I had the ability within myself. So I grew up.

I'm wondering why you are all worried about bills when you have a man there? I used to pour over balance sheets and figure everything out, to the penny. My husband had everything given to him that he wanted because I paid attention to the details. I got way burned out on that job. Actually things went to hell real fast when he convinced me to give him the checkbook. Which he promptly lost. Plus blew the entire amount of a loan, never to be heard from again.

I also learned that year I went to school, when I had no visible means of income, to sit down and talk to Spirit. Just make a list. These are the needs. They were always met, plus, big time. Not that I got rich or anything.

I'm glad you are asking this. Major first step. You might not find what you expect. But you will definitely find something.

[lildreamer316]

3. Thank You, votesomemore.

I think you just clarified something for me.
I'm just going to simply make a list and put on it all the things I think I need money for.
And talk to Spirit.

Simplicity is best.

Thank you so much!

[SeattleGirl]

10. Going back to school was one of my leaps of faith.

This was back in the 80's. I had just moved up here to Seattle, working in the accounting department of a motel, when I decided to go back to school. Started out part-time, evenings, then got the bug bigtime, and signed up full time. Had to quit that job, but got a job at the school. Ended up getting a full-ride scholarship my last two years. When I first decided to go full-time, I had no idea how I'd pull it off, but everything I needed to do it came at the right time.

[Why Syzygy]

16. There is your answer.

I don't think the urgings we get are a mistake.
Actually during present time I am 'intending' to birth something I have known for a long time that I need to develop and allow loose. The struggle is about fear. But I know I conceived this long ago. Read a book about making wishes and let my imagination take over.
There is a voice that tells us what to do. Listening to that voice is the scariest thing. It always says, "leap". Or, that's the wrong road, don't go down that one.

The thing that is, as James Ray says, already formed in the spiritual dimensions, and gathering material particles is unknown to me on a physical level yet. But it exists in spirit. Other people can already see it and nothing else. I'm the one who hasn't caught up yet.

Everything that challenges me 'currently' is just building to the day that this manifests. Everything. Even though I have had a lot of confusion lately, I know it will serve a purpose. I'm thinking that the battle cannot be won unless you show up in battle clothes. And hold on for dear life at times. My life has never been called to screw over other people. I have been called to serve. Some people seem intent on stopping the service. That is probably the hardest thing to deal with.

Good for you. You've got experience on this adventure.

[SeattleGirl]

17. I guess I'm still playing catch up on this one.

But I think I'm close to being there. Thanks.

[BlueIris]

2. Yep. And it worked out quite well, I must say.

Although I confess, as is usually the case with me when a leap is required, because I have a hard time trusting the Universe to catch me or at least show me the way to a safe place to land, I just barely made it to the other side of the cliff. But I did take a leap like you're thinking of taking and it alllll worked out. Or, at least, my new life was so much better than my old one.

So, I say, talk to the appropriate legal and financial advisors, get your finances in order, make your "plan of escape," and break the bad news to your spouse. I think you already know that you need to do all of these things and you're just vacillating about "when" to take the next step. No time like the present, I say, at least for getting started on the critical preparations (lawyers, etc.).

[SouthernBelle82]

7. Oh for sure

Whenever I'm doing anything new I'm always taking a leap of faith so to speak like if it'll go well and work out and if it's the right thing for me to be doing right now but to the original poster I would meditate on it and try to pick up vibes on the situation and what you're wanting to do. Just ask for advice and for a sign and hopefully it'll come to you. If you're already so certain though on your decision and it's very clear I would do it. I know it's so hard but you just have to do what you know is best for you and send some positive light to yourself. :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

11. You are right, BlueIris. It's not so much the "what" as it is the "when".

I keep trying to figure out the right time, and I think that might be part of what is blocking me, and blocking what I need, in order to take that leap. The biggest thing for me is that I don't want to hurt my husband. But then I think about it in a different way. If I feel unhappy, if I feel that things aren't all they could be, might he not feel the same? Might there not be something better waiting for him? It's interesting -- I've had several astrology readings that have said the same thing: that I have always put others before myself, and that what I need to learn to do is make myself important too. And I find that it is difficult for me. I find myself thinking that I am being very selfish. Oy.

[Why Syzygy]

18. The one thing I really know about you...

Is that you are steadfast. You never quit.

I'm kind of getting an impression that your career could use a re-think. Up to you.

About all I know is that if you never stop working .. I was about to pull my old rabbit out of the hat. My lessons lately have been about stop working so hard. Just let it unfold. I'm not into that groove 'yet'.

The something better that might be waiting for him is really none of your concern, is it?
I'm way over protective of other people too and it usually results in me getting burned. This must be why I'm still alive. To wake up someday and say, I'm going first now. I have no idea how to tell you to do that. wow . but that is what the Universe keeps slapping me upside the head with.
Will be a major accomplishment for both Universe and I when that happens.

[SeattleGirl]

19. You seem to know me well.

I had a boss once who said that my middle name should be "tenacious".

As far as my husband goes, you are right; whatever that "something better" is for him, no, it's not my concern. What I'm trying to do is find the balance (oops, now I'm sounding like the Libra I am) between care and concern for others, and care and concern for myself. The Universe keeps slapping me upside the head with that one, too.

[Why Syzygy]

20. cool ..

this is what I've learned about Libra *my moon*, and partially in thanks to Rick who hangs out here sometimes. I always thought it was "balance". But someone pointed out that it is about "Justice". The lady with the scales? As far as I know she still stands as a guardian at the gate to our nation. Your tired, your poor, all that. When did it turn into, bring your money over? Never.

The "b" about being Libra is sometimes Justice is just so hard to ascertain. That's what your OP is about. I have felt dumped on at times. But I always come out the winner. In some way. Even though I was just trying to balance the scales and ask, huh?

Give a blessing for your Sun Sign. We are in the same shape... you with Sun, me with moon. There may never be any true Justice. But we don't have to stop believing in it.

I want to hear more from you how you find the path to (oops) the Balance between what is my responsibility here?

Know what? I love democracy. Why? Because we all get to speak our own Peace. That is why gw is going down. Doesn't have a clue that the reason he is rich and powerful is because enough people put him in office. No humility whatsoever. A grabber and taker. And makes dispicable acts that I will not put my beautiful mind on. Take that babs. And as Stellanoir wrote earlier and modern day prophets are telling us, that time is OVER. Let's don't forget that our primary purpose here is to restore the Repulic. Because we are a shining beacon! We have been tarnished by gw. He doesn't get it. He is a disgrace. A hide out. A squatter. We cannot project based on history.

But I can tell you this.. I am freakin sick and tired of waking up every day to wonder what horrors await. Since he started this battle, in my Name, then let it be finished.

I don't even know where these words come from. But it feels good. We all teach each other.

We are the champions. And glad to be a patriot. I'm going to look for the patriot avatar now. I'm waving the flag.

Don't get distracted by the distractors. I did and it really hurts. Everyone.

We are in this together. I am with you. Whatever you agree to that you need, I'm there.

[SeattleGirl]

21. I agree, I think it is oftentimes more about justice than balance.

I hate unfairness, hate injustice. And that's one of the things hanging me up, I think. I keep thinking that I would be unjust and unfair to my husband by saying I want out, but the other side of that is am I being unjust and unfair to myself? Keeping myself away from what I really want, to avoid feeling I'm not being fair to another. Thanks so much for your thoughts and insights.

[Why Syzygy]

24. Just like you

I was always the champ of the underdogs. You made it a career!
You do a better job of that than I ever have.
Maybe just having the desire to be just helps. Even if we never see it.
We never fully know the lives we touch.

Goddess speed on your mission. Make it about you. I feel phony for writing that because I have never been able to do that. I do know this. We are entitled to taste the experience.
We are god's hands, eyes, and ears. He needs us as much as we need him. And laugh alot, k?

[hippiechick]

4. Yes.

In January of '98 I gave my tax refund to a friend to keep - knowing I'd spend it - and over spring break took a road trip from Green Bay to visit a friend here in Indy. While here, I put a deposit on an apartment.

At the end of the school year, I sent HippieKid to spend the summer with her dad, packed up everything we had, got a UHaul and moved to Indy. Got here on a Saturday afternoon. Had to live in a crappy hotel for 2 weeks until my apartment was ready. All I had was $600 in cash (the tax refund). No savings. No credit cards. No job. No contacts aside from my friend.

Sink or swim, sista.

I hit the temp agencies first thing Monday morning and by Weds, was working. Within 2 months, I had scored a Coordinator job with the Victim's Compensation Division at the State, which was the main focus of my degree and all of my interning/volunteer work.

It was the most drastic, scariest thing I have ever done, and everyone around me said I was nuts; but here I am.


O8) Good luck to you. :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

8. another great encouraging thread!

I moved here because it was the first thing I had really wanted in a long time. Gave me the passion. After 18 months, I still feel tossed about a bit. It feels like nothing has taken root. I don't have the social network as in my prior hometown. Everyone seems so busy all the time. But, ironically, I've noticed that I have to temper down a bit because people here don't have the same drive and communication styles. So, a learning experience for sure. I have been on so many job interviews which I felt sure were going to come through with zilch return. Had a couple of real doozies of roommates. I'm still plugging. It has been the loneliest time of my life. So I comfort myself by assuring myself there must be some reason I'm to learn lonely.

I'm glad your adventure turned out so well for you. '98 was a very turning point year for a lot of people coming around. It sure kicked my butt. Actually made me put down some superficial stuff I didn't need any more. Maybe that was Uranus.

Strange .. before I got this posted got a call from someone who is expanding my mind. I feel like such a failure sometimes. Then someone comes along and sees me differently. Encouraging. Like this forum and the women and men who share their quests and questions. Openly and freely. It is just awesome. In fact I think it is the only thing that gets us through. Courage.

[SeattleGirl]

12. Now that's a leap, hippiechick.

Thanks for sharing that story. :hug:

[wovenpaint]

5. This is my M.O. when I feel like this

and is MY opinion and experience only-you must do what's best for you and yours...(and I think you already know, BTW) :D

I go for a walk in the woods-see that the creatures there are ok (for the most part)...know that I'm taken care of as well....take 3 deep breaths......and if I feel STRONGLY enough at that point-off I leap! And I'm still here.:hi:

Oh,and now I watch "The Secret", too, lol.

Best of luck with your dilemma-I'll keep good supporting thoughts for you...you'll be ok also.

A my horse person friend says: "Either you hop up and ride Life-or Life rides you...your choice"

[SeattleGirl]

13. I like what your friend says.

I've been letting life lead me around by the nose, instead of participating in it. Thanks. :hi:

[Cleita]

6. Yes, but being cautious, I planned it out as best I could before I

jumped. As for bankruptcy, I would try to avoid it. Reevaluate your spending to figure out where you could cut expenses. Go to your debtors and try to negotiate with them to lower the debt and/or interest as much of your debt is probably accumulated interest anyway. They would rather work with you rather than through bankruptcy, which could end up with more losses for them.

Try to get a consolidating low interest loan. Get an extra part time job in the evenings or weekends. If you end your marriage and go solo you will have plenty of time on your hands unless you have children. I don't have any advice for your marriage but sometimes some partnerships aren't meant to be and the sooner you sever the ties the better for both of you.

[SeattleGirl]

14. I don't really want to do bankruptcy.

There's no way I could get a loan, though, as my credit rating is in the basement.

Sometimes I've planned before I've leaped, sometimes I've just jumped. Either way, it has always worked out. I'm probably overthinking this whole thing (which doesn't mean some planning isn't a good thing, just that I can tie myself up in knots over something by thinking too much).

[Sanity Claws]

9. I'm doing it now

I was so miserable that I had to take the leap -- anything would be better. No net has appeared yet -- at times, it's quite scarey.

[SeattleGirl]

15. I know that net will appear for you.

:hi:

[Shine]

22. I have taken many leaps of faith over the years.

there's something about pushing through the fear and doing it anyway that can be so liberating. Your inner wisdom is always guiding you on the path you need to be on. Trust your feelings and intuition. You already know what you need to do....and you're right, you'll be just fine. :hug:

You might be interested in this link.
http://www.spiritualdivorce.com/index.html

:hug: :loveya:

[SeattleGirl]

23. Darling Shine! Thank you for adding your ray of light to my thread.

And thanks for the link to the site. I just signed up for their emails. :loveya: :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

25. kapow

we are so alike. I had a spiritual marriage. Nothing on paper.

SeaGirl. . a bond is not lightly broken. I had to get a grip recently that I never got over my 1st husband. Which technically ended in 1980. I guess that just as the real paperwork isn't filed at the state, the "ending" cannot be recorded. My experience, it doesn't end, it transmutes. There is no big eraser in the sky.

You are entitled to take any path you want.