Any thoughts on dreaming of ex's....??

[bliss_eternal]

...or prior relationships (bf's, gf's, etc.)? I've had many recurring dreams in recent weeks and months prominently featuring some of my ex's. I'll be honest, in the years since our break-ups, I found I disliked these guys...not at all sure why I would dream of them.

I'm keeping track of the dreams (writing them down in detail, jotting down on specific feelings during the dream, etc.). Thought I would ask here if anyone has any specific theories or ideas what such dreams mean.

Thanks all!

Best,
bliss :)

[cassiepriam]

1. Any thing going on in your life right now

that may be stirring up old issues?

Anxiety, loss, anger?

Often current issues will cause us to re-visit
old ones.

[BlueIris]

2. OMG, you, too?

Must be going around. That's happening to everyone I know.

My standard explanation for why I'm dreaming about my exes is that I must be, somewhere on some level, about to embrace a new experience that at least partially requires forgetting the bad elements of past relationships to be enjoyed or appreciated. Lately, I've been able to tell that some of my dreams about exes have to do with the fears of failure I developed after being rejected by said exes. (I'm trying to build a new life, like a lot of us are, and fears of failing in it are only natural at this stage.) That's all. No biggie. Well...

...except that my standard explanation doesn't really explain why I'd be dreaming about people I haven't seen in literally ten years, whose rejections I thought I was really, really over. I don't know. I'm sure your answer will materialize for you when it's time.

[bliss_eternal]

9. Hi BlueIris...

thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, sorry you've had similar dreams. It's sometimes kind of unsettling to revisit the past this way isn't it?

[NMDemDist2]

3. to me, ex's usually signify some part of myself I loved or hated

perhaps you are not dreaming of those ex's so much as you are trying to integrate the parts of yourself they represent (for the good or bad)

:shrug:

[Why Syzygy]

4. That's what I've determined also.

After marrying my 2nd husband, I started dreaming about someone I was engaged to for two years almost every night. I made a couple of phone calls and located him. We had a friendship based relationship, so I was able to talk to him a bit. Nothing spectacular. But the dreams did stop.

Then years after divorce from #2, I started dreaming about him every night! We were always getting back together. I finally realized the dream character was some part of myself I had misplaced during that relationship, and without ever really identifying what 'it' was, 'it' became integrated and the dreams stopped. I dreamed of him several weeks ago for the first time in several years. It was a brief dream, and we did not get back together. But it seemed that the dream character was bringing me a message, because when I awoke, I had made a decision about a situation I thought was settled in my mind.

[bliss_eternal]

7. I appreciate your sharing this votesomemore....

...it really illustrates how these dreams are trying to help us. I've been working through some choices, too.

[bliss_eternal]

6. Interesting...thanks for this, AZDem...!

I'll list aspects of them that I loved, liked hated--that they could be mirroring aspects of myself my subconscious wants me to pay attention to.

:hi:

[KAT119]

10. A dream class teacher of mine says that everything-people, clouds etc.

in a dream are aspects of You, the dreamer.

Later, I found that that is true of life as well!

Carl Jung, famous psychiatrist/student of Simund Freud, wrote that cycles repeat until they are resolved-lessons learned.

[bliss_eternal]

11. Awesome!

Thanks, Kat! I know now I have to really pay attention to every aspect of the dream and think of them in terms of me, and not the actual people--they're just mirrors... Wow--dreams,...an excuse to be completely narcissistic! :P :rofl:

I appreciate your input on this, Kat. :hi:

[Why Syzygy]

12. That's what

a therapist impressed on me. He was the only one who ever showed an interest in my dreams.
I was doubtful, and sometimes it is difficult to understand how a character represents part of me. We are so multi-faceted and contain many archetypes and depths of perception that we are generally unaware of. I suppose memories are aspects of ourselves.

[rumpel]

5. Luckily, I am not dreaming of my Ex

perhaps once in the past few months..
but as I understand it, the energies at this time are that we have brought up many issues, particularly those unfinished ones (even though we think it is finished) back to the surface.
This is in preparation for us to move into the universal vibrations of coherence.
I believe it is not to eliminate, but rather to deal with it, understand, forgive and be forgiven and have a true closure, so we can move on -
detach negatives - on edit: to be able to embrace it for what it is, perhaps, and truly let go.
I know it is extremely difficult, I would term a dream where my ex is involved a "nightmare".

:)

[bliss_eternal]

8. rumpel...you cracked me up!

Quote:
I know it is extremely difficult, I would term a dream where my ex is involved a "nightmare".

:rofl:

I like the perspective you've brought to this--in terms of unfinished business, closure, etc. Thanks so much!

[yellowdawgdem]

13. Are the dreams

basically ok, or are they unpleasant?
Do all your ex's live in Texas?
I think I agree with what everyone has said so far. Which is that, you could be wanting to start a new relationship, and are trying to remember and deal with all that you learned in those other ones.
Or it could be that you simply were "contacted" by these guys in your dreams, and that could (or could not) indicate a wish to see them in real life, for the purpose of resolving some needed stuff.
And I also agree about everything being a part of you. And maybe needing to look at why you hate these parts of yourself.

[LWolf]

14. I dreamed of my ex for 3 years after separation/divorce.

The conversations were always intensely personal; working through the relationship in a way we didn't ever do face to face. Sometimes angry, sometimes loving, never with any thought to taking up again. The setting was never real, and often the people around us weren't "real" people we knew, as well. The only familiar thing was the tension between us.

I always thought I was having those dreams to help bring closure, since I didn't get the opportunity in real life. When your lifelong best friend and spouse of more than a decade suddenly announces your eviction, you are gone in 10 days, and never speak again, there are a lot of issues with closure, lol.

Were we really communicating, or were those dreams just me working through the whole thing? Both. I think he had to work through it on some level, as well. I think we met in other planes where it was "safer."

[Pathwalker]

15. So...what does driving a stake into their heart at

their funeral mean - just to be sure he's really, really dead? Supposedly, my ex is dying...again.
To say I doubt this pronouncement is putting it mildly - it's something he's done before in an attempt to insert himself into my life - via my son.
We were divorced - THIRTY YEARS AGO, and I've lived a successful life since then, married and have two more grown sons.
I would NOT attend his funeral, I would NOT drive a stake through his heart, but I just don't believe his latest...impending demise. So, I'm seriously hoping that dream only represents my dibelief. That's my story - and I'm sticking to it.

Anyone else have any other ideas?

[DemExpat]

20. If I dreamed this I would probably understand it to mean

that I would *really* love to be certain that he was not a factor to deal with in my life any longer....thus the driving the stake in the heart like to a Vampire, who always "appeared" to be dead sleeping in his coffin, but not truly dead until the stake went in.
You might not believe his impending demise at this time, but in your dream you might wish for it....:evilgrin:...or at least wish for an end to the "false alarms"!!!!!

I believe it represents symbolically your wish to be truly free of him (which also represents a part of yourself in your relationship to him that is not worked through completely - thus you can reach this freedom yourself in your attitude,("killing" your own anger, resentment towards him?) or reach freedom with his physical death in the dream).

DemEx

[stellanoir]

16. Yup Jungians always say dreams are all aspects of self but I do

have experiences of lucid dreams, remote viewing, and prophetic dreams so I feel there are many different types of phenomena occurring on the unconscious level. Quite the labarynth in our curious crania eh. . .?

As for dreaming of ex's I can't believe that this thread has this many posts on it and NOBODY has mentioned that Mercury and Mars are transiting in Scorpio stirring up our sometimes tawdry sexual pasts especially in light of Mercury still being in the shadow of the degrees at which it retrograded. Mercury in water always stirs up old emotional stuff but in Scorp it makes sense that it would be involving intimates or anyone to whom we've surrendered our power.

So it's perhaps time for review, reflection, release, and/or reweaving disparately scattered aspects of ourselves that we have appropriately or inappropriately projected onto past paramours.

[Pathwalker]

18. stellanoir, can you perhaps explain what my dream

might mean in the context you've given, because I don't understand how it explains anything but my deep doubts that my ex is dying? The Nercury/Mars in Scorpio fits very well, I think, since Scorpio also represents death, but mine was a very short dream which I ended by forcing myself awake, feeling terrible that even my mind would think of doing such a thing. I know I would just love to never hear his name again - ever - but because of my son, that wish will never happen, but other than really wishing to be over and done with him - permanently - how does this dream represent parts of myself? What part of me am I wishing dead, or doubting that it is dead?

I could really use some help, here. Please. Anyone?

[stellanoir]

19. I'm kind of flying around during the dinner hour here but

with a first cursory review of that dream, the first thing that struck me was. . . you weren't killing him. He was already dead but your relationship has long since been over. I feel you were severing the last vestige of how he can or could manipulate your heart strings.

Congratulate yourself. Though that is a real Scorpionic image, you may have just freed yourself and liberated the energy you invested in him so long ago.

I'll edit this again within the hour after giving it some more deeper thought though.

on edit-When I first read the dream I was reminded of a meditation that was popular years ago. One would visualize an ex and the "tentacles" through which one was still attached, even in the case of prolonged distance and absence. Some of the one's I had a facillitated were really strangely comical, with undesirable extended relatives, old tires, refrigerators, and strange other worldly creatures entangled in them. Those would have to be severed and forgiven of course.

Still I believe the heart is a big place and is certainly capable of loving more than one person in a lifetime in a truly intimate way. Yet I really feel that once one loves a person in that certain way, there will always be a modicum of love for that person due to the intensity of the merging and how we morph to some degree with every entanglement. This level of interconnectedness persists even when you can't trust them as far as you can throw them and don't have a single iota of respect for them.

Someone I truly loved who really hurt me had a horrible accident a couple weeks ago. His passenger died. His spirit is temporarily broken. When I heard the news all I wanted to do was hug him and feed him despite all of the hurt. The past was insignificant compared to what he's enduring. Ya know? Forgiveness can be a grand thing.

Do you see the flashing etheric neon "sucker" sign over my crown chakra or what?

Hope that helps Notorious Bohemian. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

17. Wooooowwww...I just did!

The other night--dreamt of a guy who isn't exactly an ex...more of an almost-was, if you know what I mean. I haven't thought about him in ages, but there he was in a dream of mine, kind of a mix of him and Orlando Bloom (not that that's a bad thing). Hmmmm...

[freeplessinseattle]

21. strange, dreamt of an ex from 12 years ago the other night

and on a whim decided to google him the next night, found some poetry of his online and sent him an email, not sure if it was still even an active link.

turns out he had spent a "good chunk of the day" as he put it, trying to locate me, the day after I had such a vivid dream of him. we lost touch more than 6 years ago after I moved but I've always held a torch for him. I wasn't even sure if he would remember me, that's how little I thought I meant to him (tho he did bringme to meet his mother, so when a guy does that it is significant). I'm not sure why we were on the same wavelength at the same time, or how we'll proceed, but am just savoring the seemingly meaningful reconnection. or maybe it is just an astrological phase.

[Metta]

22. It's all projections of infinite, divine beloved, if you ask me.

... playing through them and being reflected from ourselves in the projection. That opens the space and lets what I hold play out and settle down. I usually go with the energy behind the image in cases like this and ignore the presented face.

[BlueIris]

23. I keep dreaming about New Special Friend.

Le sigh. I really miss him.