So, someone was talking about loving ourselves ...

[Why Syzygy]

Which brings up a lot of questions.

HOW? is #1

Why? What would be the benefit?

Does loving ourselves begin with allowing the love which we contintually receive in, inside?
Just let it in?

These are questions.

AZDem has suggested looking in the mirror every day and saying, "I love you. I really love you".
But how do I begin with that if I don't know what that means?

Hope you all have some suggestions.

[LaurenG]

1. Start by being respectful and kind to yourself

I notice that when I'm having a bad day I tend to be mean to myself. So when I catch myself doing that I try to see myself as a child and then think how would I treat "her"?

I try to be gentle with myself and firm when necessary. Kind of like parenting myself but as a good and loving parent, not a whacked out meany.

Be nice to you, find your good qualities and focus on those and then just keep working on the issues you're not fond of. I have to recommit to doing better with certain issues of mine everyday but I'm mostly kind to myself about it.

[NMDemDist2]

2. "would you treat your best friend/child like that?"

Don't say anything to yourself unless it is the way you would address it to a beloved friend or child.

Pretty easy huh?

and also remember I told you that you don't have to "understand" to do the actions. Just do the actions and the understanding will come later. Promise! :hug:

as for the benefits, well, first of all, you begin to see yourself honestly instead of through a filter of "bad" or "good" You can start to forgive yourself for past mistakes and approve of yourself for good actions.

Al Franken says he Loves America, not like a child to a parent where there is no questions, but rather as an adult to a lover where you can see both the good and the bad mixed together. If you love yourself like that the results can be amazing. You no longer have to hide from your perceived failures nor minimize your strengths.

Go to the mirror and try it. Listen to your inner dialog. Listen for the lies you tell yourself about yourself. Most of those lies are from your childhood. I love a parable from the Starseed Transmissions that goes....

"If an acorn falls to the ground among many other acorns, and becomes so involved with it's relationships to the other acorns that it clings ever to it's definition of itself as an acorn, then that acorn will die as an acorn and will never discover that in God's definition, it is not an acorn, but a mighty Oak. Do not be like the acorn in this parable and cling to your larval self images until you are rotting and crawling with worms. Release your childish conceptions and allow the Creator to define you in HIS terms."

[Why Syzygy]

3. I was hating myself on Monday

I was "supposed" to get on a bus. But the ice storm intervened.
Then I thought, "everyone will think I'm a failure because I did not get on the bus".
A thoughtful friend cared to point out that I did not cause the weather!

I like the acorn story. Will take awhile to take root (haha).

A few years ago, I did stop scaring myself (mostly). The horror stories!

It takes daily upkeep? I guess? I scare the beejebus outa myself.
Contentment? Is that part? (vsm playing dumb)

One thing I never understood about being a kind parent was, how can I do that if I never experienced it. However. I was a kind parent. No idea how that came about.

It's a gentleness. But a discplinarian too. Have fun, let's play. But bed by 8!

I might get the hang of this. But LOVE? Myself? Is that all there is?

[DemExpat]

4. I think that this is our task here on earth.

Pure and simple.
This is the reason we need to learn to love ourselves.

To learn how to love ourselves which then will allow our finest gifts to be shared with/given to all.

I believe this, but attaining it is another story entirely. Not so simple to do IMO. Takes many lifetimes for most of us.

Seeing the soul behind the facade is the first step IMO. Perhaps AZDem's technique of looking into the mirror - looking into your own eyes - allows a connection to our soul to be made more consciously.

:hug:

DemEx

[NMDemDist2]

5. "driven by a hundred forms of fear .......and self pity"

it's criminal how we terrorize our selves with our minds isn't it?

and no, contentment isn't a part of it, it's the result! The contentment only comes after you've done the action to face the fears and moved into loving.

Action, vsm, thinking doesn't help. You can't think your way into a new way of living, you have to *live* your way into a new way of thinking.

Like a duck on a ledge, you have to take the leap before you learn you can fly.

[Why Syzygy]

6. I think of other words too

full of terror and dread. Or something to that effect. We are crossing forums.
But those words ring in my ears.

What else do 'they' say? Let us love you until you can love yourself.
Done.
I'm surrendered.

Let's don't have cooked duck for dinner.

I still don't have the action thing down right. I have the talking thing.

But I will fly. Watch me soar. By the help of others who have gone before me.

Yes it is criminal. We got a get out of jail free card.

[NMDemDist2]

7. ....

:hug:

[Rock_Garden]

8. Looking in the mirror works very well, however...

there's a little check you can do with it. As you look at your reflection, see if your pupils contract or expand while you're looking at yourself. If they expand, you perceive yourself as a friend. If they contract, you have inner conflict and need to do some work. You can then talk to your reflection or do some journaling to discover the causes of the conflict.

Beginning an inner dialogue isn't always easy.

As for the why, if you love yourself, experiences and feelings flow through you harmlessly. If you don't love yourself, outer experience gets stuck on your soul. It creates a drag on your coefficient. It slows you down, and you have no flow. And if you don't love yourself, that situation will continually be reflected back to you by others. Anyway, that's been my experience.

[NMDemDist2]

9. R_G may I tell you

how much I appreciate you.

Your voice is a very welcome addition to our choir here.

:yourock:

[Rock_Garden]

22. Thank you, AZDemDist6!

And I feel the same way about the rest of you. I'm not much of a talker, but these subjects are irresistable.

One of these days, if anyone's interested, I think it would be fun to have a lucid sleep thread, and maybe a Feng Shui thread, and there must be thousands of other things we could talk about.

About the mirror thing: I attended a class where each person stood in front of a full length mirror and did the pupil check thing. One woman broke down and cried like a baby and yelled, "I hate you! You're a miserable mess!" at her reflection. Later, she told me that she was astounded that she had done that. I thought it was so very strange that someone could feel so badly about herself and not even know it.

[NMDemDist2]

27. we had a couple good Feng Shui threads--saved a couple of our

sanity's after the loss of 11/04


http://journals.democraticunderground.com/AZDemDist6/11

[Rock_Garden]

31. "How Feng Shui Saved My Sanity" by Chester Drawers (ha!)

I have no doubt that it did that.

[NMDemDist2]

38. ROFL

there were 3 or 4 of us in the Cooking and Baking group that totally re did our kitchens

it was a hoot.

we still joke about "Never ask about spice storage, you'll create a monster"

:rofl:

[lildreamer316]

30. Seconded/thirded/etc.

Thank you so much! I am scared but excited to try this.

[Rock_Garden]

32. You have a perfect right to know the contents of your own mind. n't

[I Have A Dream]

10. I really like this, Rock_Garden. n/t

[Rock_Garden]

23. I almost didn't post it.

See how silly I am? I started to post it, and then I thought, "Oh, no, all these ladies are way beyond that". It just goes to show that you never know what you know that others may not know, yet. I guess that's why the Universe made more than one of us.

[Celebration]

11. Pupils contracting

That should work great as a kinesiology test, but only if the mirror doesn't have a light over it.

This is all really a no brainer. From the logical point of view, if a person doesn't love herself, how can one expect others to love her?

And, we are made of water, mostly. Look at the Emoto pics to see what words do to water.

Changing attitudes requires practice. Specific affirmations are a really good idea, particularly combined with meditation.

You are right. What we project out is what we get back. It is some sort of law, I think.

Another hint--if you catch yourself telling yourself negative things, snap your fingers to break up the energy, and follow with a positive affirmation.

[I Have A Dream]

12. When I read RG's post, I immediately thought of the mirror exercise ...

and the water pictures from "What the Bleep Do We Know?". Are they the Emoto pictures that you're referencing?

[Celebration]

13. yes definitely

I may start a thread about Emoto at some point. In the meantime you can google and get some examples. I am definitely *really* interested in the mysterious properties of water. I know that they are there, and I know it is completely unscientific!! It's one reason I am interested in Raymon Grace. Shapes such as the Emoto pics and various geometric patterns work great to charge water. Various products are out there.

What would be really cool is a line of bedding with things like the Emoto pics, the word "love", spirals in the phi pattern, etc. on them. It would really be a cool experiment--look at the blood of people under microscopy after sleeping on something like that, versus sheets with bad rap lyrics on them.

[Why Syzygy]

14. Not sure if this applies

or how many others read the intro to something Lil'D posted a while back.
The thing that stood out for me was how one word can change matter.

You make a very good point about us being mostly composed of water. And a little carbon and ash, I guess. Not a real chemist, but I would assume water is the most mutable.

The word that jumped out at me is "Together". I meditate on that quite a bit.
Something going wrong? Think, "Together".

Since you are into Emoto, you understand that thoughts and words have 'real' effects. ('real' as in if anything is)

I've done a bit of Etymology study. Words have meanings, and it is not by accident. We could have an entertaining discussion of why certain words carry certain meanings. How the very act of evoking certain words evoke emotion. It is really a fascinating field.

I have to do a little political rant. This is why, DUMBELL saying "bring em on"... well evokes a really bad response. Do a little dance on my head. See? Different. I'm gonna run your dog down, another? Words carry with them emotion. Like magick.

I'll take the sheets that say, love softly. mmmm

[Celebration]

15. Bring em on!!

Very good point. Certainly something that a dualism person would say. Words are taken literally. It is so interesting, really. Plus when doing meditations, remember that the ether doesn't carry negatives. Saying "I won't say negative things to myself" is COMPLETELY counterproductive. It has to be something like "I always nurture myself."

Our political leaders are manifesting you know what with all their thoughts and words. Bring em on is an invitation for conflict. Invitations are accepted. No RSVP needed.

[Why Syzygy]

16. This is something

that I have been wondering about. Have read it for years! That the subconscious does not recognize a negative.
Well, then, how does it get negative stuff?

I really appreciate that it is more beneficial to say, I say positive things to myself.
But. I 'can't' (oops) believe that the subconscious doesn't know the word don't.

How could that be? How in the world can we program ourselves (or allow others) if there are no negatives?

My nascent viewpoint is that, it certainly does recognize when we say, won't, can't, don't.
Especially. It seems to snag on the negatives most. mo

[Celebration]

17. certainly our conscious minds know negatives!!

So naturally we think our subconscious minds do as well. But somehow the negative gets filtered out. How many times have you tried to tell yourself NOT to do something, and then you end up wanting to do it more? It is because you are focusing on the thing, and the "not" is lost.

You can say can't in posts because it gets your point across, but when you say them in affirmations when you are trying to change behavior they are just totally counterproductive.

"Bring 'em on" I thought it was a stupid cowboy tough guy thing to say all along, but now I am thinking about an it as an invitation for whatever dark energy to pop in.

I would love to elect a president who knew how to psychically protect himself or herself, and also protect the country and world. One who invites in dark energy????? That is what we have now.

[Why Syzygy]

18. I don't know

'Bring it on' has no negative attached.

Let's get over this. He is dark 'energy'. Or is it a drain?
Yes. That's what we have.

The original post was that subc. doesn't know positive from negative. I dispute that.

Energy test. How in the Universe can subc. filter out negatives?

I don't think it can. I believe that is a bogus idea. Yes/No. 1/0. It is inconceivable to me that our superconsious mind can say no to no. That's all I'm saying.

[Celebration]

20. I think it barely registers

The problem is that the attention goes mostly to what you are thinking about. What you dwell upon you worship, sort of. So, if you keep telling yourself "Don't be so sloppy" you are focusing more on the sloppy than the "don't be so." Sloppy is reinforced. Believe me, it works this way. So, if you tend to be sloppy, quite easy to turn it around and say, "I function well in a neat environment, and clean makes me happy."

Then you get the added bonus of not beating yourself up for your habits. Because after all, telling yourself not to be sloppy is labeling yourself as sloppy. When you label yourself as sloppy the water in your body knows it. That, in turn reinforces low self esteem, which makes it even harder to change habits.

Anyway, in raising children, and training them, it is said that for every one negative thing said "Stop screaming" five positive ones need to be used, "I appreciate the way you asked for that in a calm manner."

If parents are challenged in that way because of the way they were raised, it is probably a good idea to track it with a diary and make changes.

[I Have A Dream]

19. I've heard that when we try to manifest something, we should always...

state it in a positive way rather than using words like "not". For example, if I'm sick and want health, I should state it as "I am manifesting good health" rather than "I am manifesting that I am no longer sick".

I wonder if this is related to what you're saying. I've heard it many places, including from the channelled being with whom I work. He said that the Universe does not understand negatives very well.

[Celebration]

21. Absolutely

I can say never because this is, after all, just a post. I would recommend never saying negatives in an affirmation. With an affirmation, you are really trying to manifest something in yourself.

Of course I can say this, but I catch myself saying negatives to myself a lot. However, this discussion is going to make me more aware of this. It is really, really counterproductive.

One could make it specific--

"I am able to be and feel my best even though I have had a cold."

In fact, that is sort of like the EFT language.

Generally with EFT the rules are 1. you have to believe what you say, and 2. acknowledge the problem, 3. make it positive.

"Even though at times my house is a mess, I truly and completely love and accept myself" all the while tapping on acupuncture points.

[Pathwalker]

25. Hey - Dream, a question, if you don't mind?

I'm making a list for Netflix, could you refresh my memory as to what it's about? I know from the old threads that it was exciting, but I can't remember the theme. (anyone can answer this)
:hi:

[I Have A Dream]

35. I couldn't find a way to summarize it myself, NB, so...

I went to the handy-dandy Internet and found the following (a bit skeptical) summary on amazon.com:

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com

The unlikeliest cult hit of 2004 was What the (Bleep) Do We Know?, a lecture on mysticism and science mixed into a sort-of narrative. Marlee Matlin stars in the dramatic thread, about a sourpuss photographer who begins to question her perceptions. Interviews with quantum physics experts and New Age authors are cut into this story, offering a vaguely convincing (and certainly mind-provoking) theory about... well, actually, it sounds a lot like the Power of Positive Thinking, when you get down to it. Talking heads (not identified until film's end) include JZ Knight, who appears in the movie channeling Ramtha, the ancient sage she claims communicates through her (other speakers are also associated with Knight's organization). What she says actually makes pretty good common sense--Ramtha's wiggier notions are not included--and would be easy to accept were it not being credited to a 35,000-year-old mystic from Atlantis. --Robert Horton

Product Description

WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW?! is a new type of film. It is part documentary, part story, and part elaborate and inspiring visual effects and animations. The protagonist, Amanda, played by Marlee Matlin, finds herself in a fantastic Alice in Wonderland experience when her daily, uninspired life literally begins to unravel, revealing the uncertain world of the quantum field hidden behind what we consider to be our normal, waking reality. She is literally plunged into a swirl of chaotic occurrences, while the characters she encounters on this odyssey reveal the deeper, hidden knowledge she doesn?t even realize she has asked for. Like every hero, Amanda is thrown into crisis, questioning the fundamental premises of her life ? that the reality she has believed in about how men are, how relationships with others should be, and how her emotions are affecting her work isn?t reality at all!

http://www.amazon.com/What-Bleep-Do-We-Know/dp/B0006UEVQ8

I think that it was a movie definitely worth watching and very much along the lines of what we discuss here. There was a part in it about water being subjected to various emotions, and then the water molecules were examined under a microscope. The water was different based upon the emotion to which it was exposed. That part was very interesting!

:hi:

[Rock_Garden]

24. If you do a kinesiology test with it, be sure to let us know. n/t

[Pathwalker]

26. Oh wow! I'd never heard of this, so I tried it.

All those years of hard work have paid off - mine expanded! Decades ago, they would not have expanded. i feel like I passed a life test - :bounce:

Thank you, Rock_Garden!
:hi:

[Rock_Garden]

33. Yay, you, NB! You're a star "pupil" (sorry; couldn't resist)!n/t

[Celebration]

28. I have a suggestion with the mirror

If any of you have pupils that contract when looking at yourself in the mirror, try using the mudra for love. Okay, basically that is the hand signal for sign language for love. Flash that in the mirror and say "I truly love and accept myself." Actually you don't even need to say that. I bet the pupils stay big!! I really haven't tried it, but it should work. Be sure you can see your hand in the mirror too. It is like "Hook 'Em Horns" but with the thumb not folded over. You may be able to train yourself to accept yourself that way.

Here it is--

Using this mudra should also amplify the intent for any affirmations. It can clear a lot of energetic blockages.

Of all things, I had to clear entities out of my energetic fields before I muscle tested strong to myself while looking in the mirror. That is also when wind stopped bothering me. Never mind that I don't "believe" in entities.

[Rock_Garden]

34. When wind stopped bothering you?

I could use clarification on that one. Is that an energetic thing?

[Celebration]

36. Yeah, a kind of weird one

I tested weak to wind, and would get really ill with fever after being out in heavy wind. This happened once after going to a party on the beach at night, as an example. And I had to cover up my head and bend down when I went out in my husband's (too fast) fishing boat. I tried clearing it the NAET way but no dice!! I could not stay cleared of wind. I lost every treatment. I also muscle tested weak to looking in the mirror. Once I cleared entities out of my energetic bodies, POOF, all that ended. You would think I would feel like a completely different person, but not really. The difference is subtle other than those two things.......I just feel a little tiny bit lighter. I still don't love being out in the wind. I just don't get sick after being out in it. That is *quite* a helpful result. It did bug me that I would muscle test myself looking in the mirror and be weak. I'm glad that's fixed. Still, as a practical matter the wind thing seemed like more of a pain. Even a slight wind would weaken me. I still have a little hand held fan that I used to test myself.

If one doesn't muscle test, one could get a hand held fan, turn it on and look in the mirror and see what happens to the pupils!! (should have the intent to test the wind, not looking at yourself, LOL) It might change the heart rate too. Or, use a pendulum.

[Rock_Garden]

39. Fascinating. I'll have to investigate kinesiology. n/t

[Pathwalker]

29. How? A suggestion: Buy Hyacinths for your soul.

I know, I know - it sounds corny, but it really works. Self-hate can come from feeling unworthy, easy to do if you were brought up in some Christian traditions, whose dogma insist that we are all basically terrible beings - sinners doomed to hell without that particular sects particular redemption package. This makes it difficult to love ourselves, or see ourselves as worthy of love, or of loving ourselves. this despite the fact that Christ says we should love others as we love ourselves. Should we not then, LOVE OURSELVES as we love others? of course, we should.

But how? How does one purposely teach themselves that they are worthy of happiness, joy and LOVE? The method I came up with - the one that worked for me - was to buy myself symbolic "Hyacinths" when my soul/spirit began to feel overwhelmed by the inner and outer conflicts in my life. I found, over time, that when I became chronically angry, depressed, or feeling unworthy, it was a result of not taking the time to feed my spirit/my soul - my inner self.
So, when I recognized that I was angry at EVERYTHING, depressed by whatever, or felt unworthy because I hadn't fed my spirit - I decided to do, "buy", read, see, feel, learn something that would make my spirit feel better. Over time the methods and "purchases" varied: on sunny summer days, I would seek out a spot to view the coming glorious sunset - and just watch it til dark. On winter days when I was lost in the frigid grip of winter, I'd visit a greenhouse, where it's warm and bright, and the workers are busy planting bulbs or transplanting baby seedlings. When a small voice within would suggest how lovely a nice, long bubble bath would feel, I'd go to a place that sold such product and buy something that smelled of happiness or calm. Whatever made my spirit go ahhh!
If I felt I needed more, I would ask my guides where to go. If I ended up at a bookstore, I knew I was going to by a book - no surprise, as I'm a bookworm. I'd ask my guide to show me what I needed.
It did.
Please understand, I'm just sharing what I did and what worked for me to give you a few ideas - you are a different person, so your Hyacinths should be tailored to you - whatever makes you feel worthy, loved, in touch with eternity instead of being lost in now's insanity. Do it consistently, and regularly, and let yourself know that you are doing these things as a sign of respect for your soul/spirit, because you know and accept that you ARE a spirit who resides within a body, and you accept, respect, and love both. Just as they ARE.
I hope this helps, votes. :hug:

[I Have A Dream]

37. This made me think of "Care of the Soul" by Thomas Moore.

As described on his website, it is "A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life."

It's very important to follow that inner voice and to remember to feed it so that it grows rather than shrivels up.

[NJCher]

40. r u a mindreader?

Hahah, I just bought hyacinths yesterday! I just needed them. What can I say: I just needed them.






I had to have some tulips, too!



The aroma of the hyacinths is what I love. In every room, now, there is heavenly fragrance. I put one bouquet by my bed.



Cher

[Pathwalker]

41. Well, sometimes hyacinths are just that - hyacinths!

LOL! I've bought my share of actual hyacinths when my spirit needed a lift - the scent IS heavenly. It's a bit of spring in deep winter.
Then, when they're done blooming, I let the foliage die off and plant them somewhere in my gardens, so there's a fresh supply of surprise! hyacinths every spring.
:hi:

[Chemical Bill]

42. Some wise guy...

once said: "love your neighbor as you love yourself". Notice that the loving of the neighbor is dependant on the loving of yourself. If you don't love yourself you're incapable of loving your neighbor.

Bill