thank you and update

[northernlights]

I posted here 2 weeks ago seeking support and advice regarding an incident in my oral communications class, in which the "professor" first sent a passive-aggressive response to an email request, and then bullied me verbally in class.

I've spent most of my free time since this getting back on center (being abused like that threw me way off balance), trying to get back onto my manifestation project, and letting go.

I reported the entire incident the next day to my chemistry professor, who is head of a major, core department and has known me for 3 semesters. She was pretty outraged at the statements the adjunct "professor" made about science, which is the core of the University and easily more than 50% of the student body. It turns out they are currently discussing dropping this course requirement and my input could help this happen. At the very least, they may make waivers more systematic. She was clear that given my background, I should not even have had to take this class.

Anyway, the class was cancelled last week due to the snowstorm, so last night was my 1st back. Half the students had been out with the flu the night of the incident. Last night the class was full.

The "professor" was sugary sweet, and took time out to eplain how "someone" said totally inappropriate things that are not acceptable in "her" class. She continued making passive-aggressive statements throughout the evening. (Inwardly, I laughed. She thought she was referring to me. But I believe she was projecting her own inappropriate behavior onto me.) I do expect the rest of the class will benefit from her "cleansing" experience, since she now must exercise some self-control and at least attempt to be supportive for the rest of the semester to avoid recurrances with other students. For example, she has started writing a little feedback on our papers.

I have mentally walked away, and spent the class in silence, quietly writing the Buddhist blessing, "May all beings always be safe. May all beings always be healthy. May all beings always be happy. May all beings always be at ease. May all beings always be at peace." Over and over again, for several pages in my notebook.

It doesn't matter, because as soon as I sell my house I will pay off the stafford loans, withdraw from school and leave the area. Everything here was sold to me on total lies and since the lies surfaced this past January, it has become clear there is no feasible way for me to continue. I no longer feel certain of employment at the end of the program, or of sufficient potential income to justify the level of debt that finishing will require. So the "advisor" who tricked me has really just hurt the university that employs her. At the time that I withdraw, I will write to the president of the university, first to thank the very fine professors that I've learned so much from, but also to let her know that the advisor's lies have forced my withdrawal. Hopefully that will at least save future students from my current predicament.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. I think you are right about the professor projecting

her own behavior onto you. This is so very often the case. And you were wise to stay centered during the course. I'm sorry for the lies and trickery you had to endure, but I am glad you realize it and are getting out. But I do think your being there has and will continue to do some good--the chemistry instructor has told you as much.

May you always be safe. May you always be healthy. May you always be happy. May you always be at ease. May you always be at peace.

[MorningGlow]

2. Good work, NL

If it helps at all, when I went through my "scorched earth" time a couple of years ago (when the Universe decided it was time for me to completely change my life--leave my FT job and my coven), every situation in the life I knew became excruciatingly unbearable. I butted heads with people I normally got along with. Problems were blown out of proportion, and people overreacted, to the point where I thought I was Alice and had gone down the rabbit hole. Safe situations were no longer safe, and friends were no longer friends. It was truly disturbing. Of course now I can look back and realize that it was the Universe shaking me loose from my comfort zones in order to get me to move on to the next thing I had to do in my life.

Your tussle with your instructor--and indeed all the issues you've been having with the university and the program in general--sound very familiar. I think the Universe is speaking to you--maybe moving on is the correct path. I'd suggest meditating on it to see what exactly Spirit wants you to do next. :hug: