Need some feedback on a dispute I'm having at school

[BuelahWitch]

I take an online web development class at a Kansas University. Our instructor has had the brilliant idea that we should work on our final project with a partner. I voiced an opinion that that is NOT such a good idea because for one thing wa all have to use separate servers (the school's servers do not support the curriculum they're teaching, so some of us have gone out and bought a domain just for this class). I have also had very BAD experiences with group projects that have to be done from a distance, one person bosses the rest, does none of the work, and then leaves nasty feedback when things aren't done to what she thinks they ought to be.
A woman who is in my class now did exactly that a couple of semesters ago in another class. So now this loud mouth tells me I should "grow up" because it's the instructors class (which I'm paying for) and we're supposed to do what he wants. Well, I didn't fight back when she was so nasty to me a year last December. It was the end of the semester and I thought oh hell who cares now?
Part of me wants to call her on her name calling and ass kissing, but then I'm afraid the instructor will make us work together. Which I DON'T want.
Part of it is childish, I know, but you know what? I'm really tired of being bullied by these types of people. Writing is easy for me, doing web development and coding is not. I'd rather work at my own pace than feel pressure dealing with other people's schedules.
Right after I read her nasty post my kitty crawled into my lap, which I think was a sign to shut up. So far I haven't responded.
What do you think?

[southerncrone]

1. This is STILL a free country & you have as much right to express your

concerns as any one else in the class. I would tell her so. I'd also add that she could have simply expressed her thoughts about the project WITHOUT ATTACKING ANY ONE ELSE! Attacking others for no reason is never impressive and that teams can't succeed when one member is inclined to attack the others.

(This suggestion is kindly supplied by a Scorpio.) LOL


What response have you gotten back from the teacher?

[BuelahWitch]

2. Thanks southerncrone

The instructor is being wishy washy. He now says he might have us do "some" of it with a partner. I guess I'll wait and see. At least I know what my Mars oppose Pluto transit is going to be about on Monday!

[Metta]

3. What you've shared here seem appropriate things to share with the instructor.

You're giving information, after all, and your reasons seem solid.

[BuelahWitch]

4. Thanks Metta

I did respond to the thread and said that I had a right to express a concern and I wasn't going to let anyone bully me into shutting up. Actually, some of the fellows have come out and said that they'd rather work alone too, now. So hopefully now that I'm not the lone voice in the wilderness he'll give us a choice.

[Metta]

5. Sometimes, it takes one person speaking out to get the ball rolling.

It's good your instructor is willing to be flexible. The voice of the people is the voice of God, after all.

[northernlights]

6. your issues are totally valid

and it sounds like you've provided the catalyst to get others who have suffered in silence through group projects to speak up.

The bully who wrote to you to "grow up," did she by chance include the professor in her childish response? Hope so! That can only help your cause. Naturally she would resist such a change, lol.

[BuelahWitch]

7. Oh yes, she called me out in front of everyone. That's her MO

She did the same thing in the other class last year. But as I said, it was the end of the semester and I thought I'd just let it go that time. Of course, she included a large amount of ass kissing for the professor too.
She's the classic person who bosses people around but disappears when there's work to be done. I'm sure the other people are saying "catfight!" at this point. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

[SheilaT]

8. Can you simply let the instructor know

that you will be very happy to do the project by yourself? If that won't work, quickly find some other partner, one you feel you can work with.

And is the course through KU (the University of Kansas in Lawrence) or K-State (Kansas State University in Manhattan0? Oddly enough KU means the University of Kansas and K-State means Kansas State University. No matter which one, how bizarre that the school's server's don't support the curriculum. That's something I'd be complaining about quite vociferously.

[BuelahWitch]

11. No it's Fort Hays

And I thought the same thing. We are doing web Development with PHP and apparently the server for STUDENT pages does not support it. The school's website does, but not our server.

[SheilaT]

14. Good grief.

You'd think they wouldn't offer a course like that unless it were fully supported.

All I can offer is sympathy.

[BuelahWitch]

15. on top of that their IT department won some sort of award last year

I think the department head doesn't know much about web design. The course I'm taking this semester was completely different last year. He thinks he's keeping up with the technology, but the school doesn't choose to do so.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

9. Tell the instructor in a pm

about your feelings, especially towards this one student. Then, if he still insists in partnering you with someone, it will be with someone else.

[Celebration]

10. most teachers would have felt uncomfortable with this woman's response

Might have been too shocked to say anything.

Sounds like you all will get your choice, probably.

I was never big on group projects. Like northernlights, I'm a Scorpio, LOL.

Honestly, I think no response to this woman was the absolute best thing you could do in those circumstances. You did not lower yourself to her level, and I am sure that was appreciated by the rest of the class.

[LWolf]

12. I think a variety of things.

I think that you could go to the instructor, PRIVATELY, and say, "I understand that group projects are a valid learning experience. I would like to request to do this project alone, for the following reasons:

(list concerns here, including "I'd rather work at my own pace than feel pressure dealing with other people's schedules.")

Then accept the decision.

As far as a response to the other student?

I think it's too late to respond to that particular incident.

Let that one go, unless she brings it up again.

I think there is a way to stand up to bullying without escalating the conflict, which should be the goal. Think about ways to defuse those kinds of confrontations...before they happen. While each situation is different, the most important part is to remain calm, and not let your buttons get pushed. That's what bullies thrive on...your reaction to their button pushing. Don't acknowledge that they have any power, and they don't.

For what it's worth.

Meanwhile, I find that a purring lap kitty is a terrific treatment for stress. ;)

[I Have A Dream]

13. I think that I'd respond with "Thank you for your opinion."...

and leave it at that.

She can take from it what she wishes, but it would still allow me to have my voice.

It would show that you are reasonable (i.e., not a loose cannon the way her E-mail shows that she is) but not a doormat.

I'm not telling you to respond but rather what I'd respond with if I were to choose to respond.