I have a question about military honors at a funeral.

[Midlodemocrat]

I recently had a friend who passed away and he told all of us that he had served in Vietnam. Apparently, that wasn't true because he refused to even consider being buried in Arlington (he had terminal cancer, so he knew he was dying)

His wife, although very sweet, is a little slow due to a brain injury and she was sure he had been in Vietnam. A search by the funeral home turned up nothing.

He DID, however, attend a military school, so the school provided a cadet to play taps and two soldiers to present the flag. There was no gun volley.

I am wondering about all this because I was under the impression that to have military honors, one had to have served in the armed services.

Can someone here, unhappycamper, perhaps? clear this up for me? I got full military honors for my dad and my FIL, so I am a bit confused.

Thanks.

[Nickster]

1. Here's what I got

http://www.militaryfuneralhonors.osd.mil/eligpage.html

Who is eligible for Military Funeral Honors?
- Military members on active duty or in the Selected Reserve.
- Former military members who served on active duty and departed under conditions other than dishonorable.
- Former military members who completed at least one term of enlistment or period of initial obligated service in the Selected Reserve and departed under conditions other than dishonorable.
- Former military members discharged from the Selected Reserve due to a disability incurred or aggravated in the line of duty.


Here's a link to the detailed laws in place

http://www.militaryfuneralhonors.osd.mil/law.html

[Midlodemocrat]

4. That's the link I went to as well.

It kind of surprised me because he told everyone he was in Vietnam, but when my FIL passed away, it took one phone call from the funeral director to get him full honors and a burial spot in the Veterans Cemetery here. And, he was one step away from the brig when the war ended, LOL.

[Pab Sungenis]

2. The school can honor him any way they want.

It's not "full" military honors because it isn't the armed services doing it, but the school giving honors to an alumnus.

When my grandfather DeMarco died, he actually had two sets of honors, because he had been in the Coast Guard in World War II and because he had been a fireman. Each group took turns as the honor guard, and both (first Coast Guard then firemen) performed honors at the grave.

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Okay. Gotcha. That's what I thought.

And, I guess they decided to forgo the gun volley.

Thank you.

[saracat]

5. You aren't "obligated " to have either military honors or be buried at Arlington.

My Dad was a disabled Vet , one of their National Officers and he wasn't buried at Arlington and , while he got the flag, he didn't have the gun volley.

[Midlodemocrat]

7. I know. It just struck us all as very strange

that someone who bragged about his service didn't want to be buried there. It's only about 90 minutes from here.

[saracat]

8. Well I remember my Dad trying to reach out to the Vietnam Era Vets and they

stuck to themselves and didn't want anything to do with the other Vets organizations. So this doesn't surprise me at all, bragging or not.

[patrice]

10. I imagine they feel used by both pro- and anti- sides. nt

[saracat]

11. Very likely.

[TahitiNut]

6. After the 70s, when even Viet Nam vets kept quiet about being Viet Nam vets, ...

... the number of people who claimed to have been Viet Nam veterans was anywhere from four to six times as many as those who actually served in-country. There were about 2.6 million of us "boots on the ground" who're authorized to wear the Vietnam Service Ribbon.

In the 1980s, it became "acceptable" to have been a "baby killer" who didn't run to Canada or somehow escape the draft. At that point, guys who were in the service but weren't in Viet Nam or (particularly) guys who were somehow connected to a 'military culture' (military schools, ROTC, military brats, etc.) often claimed to have been in Nam. "Vietnam Era Veterans" would often omit the word "Era."

I personally regarded this as bizarre. After being treated like a leper when I got back from Nam, I was hearing about all the "my boyfriend," "my brother," "my cousin," and "my uncle" who were (all of a sudden) Viet Nam veterans. It was fashionable. Even more, it was fashionable to have been related to a Viet Nam vet. What perplexes me is the fact that too many of us were homeless, jobless, and alienated for there to be so many people who were (all of a sudden) "fashionably" related to one of us. The claims of relationships were ALWAYS accompanied by a posture/opinion regarding the Viet Nam War -- a posture strangely supported by the "expertise" that accrued by having that relationship. (Strangely, people in MY family STILL don't demonstrate the slightest interest about my time there.)

There are less than one million of us left alive. That's 1-in-300 Americans ... all over 55 years old. What're the chances YOU (anyone) know one or more of us? Hmmm??? (What're the chances?)

:eyes:

[Midlodemocrat]

9. It struck us all as very odd that he would

claim to be something other than what he was. His son is convinced that everything he did was classified.

Knowing his wife's limited abilities, this was just cruel to do to her. She went round and round for months trying to get an answer about where and when he served.

He should have come clean.

[rakeeb]

12. No one's service record is "classified"....

One may participate in a mission that is classified, but being in the military or a particular unit or being in Viet Nam has never been "classified" in anyone's case.

[jimmil]

13. Personally, when I got back and out of the hospital

None of my friends really didn't want anything to do with me. I can understand why because while I was in the Army they were in college doing things college kids. They didn't want to know what went on and didn't want to hear it at all. So, I stayed drunk and stoned for a year until I figured out no one really gave a shit about me or anything I did. No one cared if I took one more breath or not. My job was to shut the fuck up and start my life and never look back. That is what I did.

As far as veterans claims now, I had gotten an email from a friend I knew through high school. We weren't the best of friends then and I haven't talked with him in 40 years. Now I got this email supporting McCain and how all "we" veterans of Vietnam should do so. I know he was never in the service. The closest he got was his brother was in the National Guard. Now he was a war hero. I was going to send a nastygram in reply to all on the list he had included to embarrass him but I really didn't care if he was a liar or not. I blocked his address. He is still a right wing liar but who really cares?

Although I never checked before, I thought to be buried at Arlington (besides being a vet) you had to be put on a waiting list (except for combat deaths). That is what I understood.