Did you get married in a church?

[Longhorn]

We didn't. We both made it clear to our parents that not only did we not want to get married in a church, we did not want a minister, nor any prayers, etc. at our ceremony. We were married by the justice of the peace (a republican, unfortunately!) in my parents' home. We'll celebrate our 29th anniversary in March.

Though I was an atheist when I met my husband, he's the one who gave me the courage to admit it to myself and others.

[trotsky]

1. Yes, we did.

We had initially wanted to have a secular ceremony in an arboretum, but my grandfather's health was failing and there was just no way he could travel more than a few miles. It was worth it for the sentimental value, and of course for my grandfather, who died 6 months later.

Yeah, it bothered me. A lot. But can ya do? We had the reception in the church basement - it was cheap, it was easy, and all my family & friends could come. In that regard it was smashing success.

We were also married in March - and will celebrate our 10th next year.

[politicat]

2. No, we married ourselves at home in front of the mantel.

It was a planned small ceremony, but not even the UU church would let us have the cats at the wedding, and they are our 'kids'. So we had it at home. Unfortunately, we also had a snow storm on the night we got married, and only 3 of our 15 planned guests were able to make it. Of course, we didn't want them to be hurt, but it was kind of strange having a wedding with 5 people total and 3 cats.

We married ourselves, that being an option in Colorado. So no one said anything over us.

Pcat

[Philostopher]

3. Nope -- neither time.

The first time, we got married in my parents' back yard. A youth minister who'd been at the church when I was younger came and married us. He was a genuinely decent guy, I liked him. He came to my dad's funeral back in '96.

The second time, we lived in an apartment complex that had a clubhouse, and we reserved that. We were married by a UCC 'rent-a-minister' because you have to jump through incredible hoops in Ohio to do it any other way, and we wanted to have our mothers there (so going to a JOP was really not an option). He asked us if we were religious, and we said not especially, so he kept the religious stuff short and cracked a few jokes about the weather. He must have been used to performing that sort of wedding, for people who weren't religious, because he seemed completely prepared to do that.

[leftofthedial]

4. yes

we believed, and still do, that weddings, funerals and the like are for the other people.

[goddess40]

5. court house - 20 years ago

I'm willing to go to other peoples wedding in churchs but never would have even thought about it for my own.

[Cobalt Violet]

6. I never married.

If I ever do, I will not get married in a church.

[fshrink]

7. Nope. Times 2.

You'd have to drag my cold dead body by the hair.

[kdmorris]

8. Nope, married at the courthouse by

the Clerk of the Circuit Court. Since neither my husband nor I believe in any mythical father figure, it would have been hypocritical to have a pastor of any denomination marry us. We were going to have a wedding outside at one point, but the wedding was in January, in Maryland, and there was no way that you can do an outdoor wedding then. Wow, it will be 8 years on January 23. Time really flies.

[ccinamon]

9. married by Justice of the Peace

in austin, tx -- 1977 . . . we wrote our own vows, no richer or poorer, sickness or health, honor or obey in our vows. Very secular ceremony -- about 5 minutes long and had immediate family only.

We are still married -- just celebrated our 27th year!!! PLUS -- we lived together for a year before we got married!

[Longhorn]

10. We wrote our own vows, too, with the help of an old book I checked out

from the Main Library at the UT Tower. We got married in Spring but were attending UT at the time. In fact, it was the first Sunday of spring break in 1976 but we returned to Austin that night since both of us had to go to work at our part-time jobs the next day. We also had a very small wedding with just family.

[Jokerman]

11. A Judge Performed Our "Civil Union".

We had a big party where we stopped drinking for a few minutes and had my mom's boss (a judge) perform the ceremony.

We let my father-in-law offer a short prayer but I did what I always do during a group prayer, I stood quietly and stared off into space.

I've always been annoyed by weddings where jesus & god were mentioned more times than the people getting married.

[Modem Butterfly]

12. Our decision not to marry is based in part on religion

Marriage is such a hot-button issue that we decided years ago not to get married, in part not to participate in a de facto religious ceremony, in part just to bug the fundies. Will and I have been together ten years this Thursday, and we can always tell the people we don't want to get to know by their reaction to realization that we're in a long-term "non marriage".

[sybylla]

13. Yep. We chose the oldest and most beautiful Catholic church in town

I hadn't fully come to terms with atheism yet and as my family had been Catholic, chose the most beautiful church in my relatively small town. There were three to choose from. My family didn't belong to any of them so I joined. As neither of us had never had catechism nor been confirmed, we couldn't be married at the alter which didn't bother me at all. We didn't have mass either. Kept it short and sweet and received adulations from the relatives for doing so.

Had there been a decent secular alternative in town - nice park, arboretum, art museum, old mansion or even a relative with a nice house or garden - we would have done that instead.

Been married now going on 23 years. Have no regrets, but I wouldn't bother with a church wedding today.

[Biased Liberal Media]

14. Nope. we were married by a non-denominational judge

in a non-denominational ceremony!

[Gelliebeans]

15. I ended up marrying a recovered Mormon

so for the sake of sanity (mine) we picked a non-denominational chapel and wrote our own vows.
His family wasn't very pleased but I am really bitchy and the chapel was a compromise for me, however in the past 12 years she has given our name and address out to every local Mormon church so they "visit" us.
I get annoyed with this lack of privacy and to make matters worse my husband won't confront his mother, I just threaten these solicitors when then come to "visit" with law suits or my rottweiler. I have long given up on trying to reason with these people in an respectful manner.
I have however tried to be respectful of my in-laws views but when we had our son, I did tell her that he would not be raised within a church setting. (I WILL NOT COMPROMISE REGARDING OUR CHILD) I am sure she complained to my husband but he keeps quiet to keep the peace.:eyes:

[China_cat]

16. Yes, the Unitarian Church

in Charleston, SC. Completely secular service but we couldn't find any secular place that was within our budget and had our date open.

This church, outside of being a church, is a beautiful historic building that was used as a stable by the British during the Revolutionary war. We also had the delight of having tourists sit in on the ceremony. It was fun.

[StrongbadTehAwesome]

17. Nope. I got married in that brief window of time where

I'd just finished de-converting from fundie Christianity but wasn't ready to tell anyone yet.

We had our ceremony in a beautiful park, with an old family friend who was a retired minister to officiate. He belonged to some denomination that doesn't let ministers keep legal marrying credentials after they retire (Assembly of God, I think), so for the official part we went to the courthouse a few weeks before.

I wrote the ceremony which didn't mention a god at all, just a few generic references to being "blessed" to have found each other. I think the minister was a little disturbed by that, because he threw in an impromptu prayer at the start, but otherwise, no religious stuff in the ceremony, and none of the guests were the wiser. We had enough "weird" plans for our wedding as it was (had it on a Monday to keep our same anniversary), so no one was really bothered that it wasn't in a church.

[Bzzzz]

18. First Time...Yes, But...

my parents made me get married by my uncle, a Methodist minister.
My 2nd marriage was in my brother-in-law's home with a JP (going on 20 years now).
When I was going thru an especially rough time with my 1st husband, my parents and ex-husband made me go to my Uncles' home(the one that married us) and I had to sit and hear him tell me what a horrible, horrible wife and mother I was for wanting a divorce. I sat for 2 solid hours, starring at him blankly, not saying a word...that was 19 years ago and I've never spoke a word to him(uncle) since.

[gollygee]

19. Nope

We had a non-religious ceremony at a restaurant. We were going to have it outside but it was raining so we just moved it to the restaurant where the dinner afterward was scheduled.

[Marnieworld]

20. Nope. On the beach.

We had a justice of the peace. We asked him to omit god stuff and insisted on a secular ceremony. He took that to mean no mention of jesus but read the "love is patient love is kind" part of the bible. My hubby says that anytime the word god was uttered he substituted it in his head with "Ocean". I don't even remember anything except smiling at my honey and how happy I was.
My Chihuahua Pinky got to be the best dog and ringbearer. It was a spontaneous eloping on vacation so we had to just go with the flow.