Just a little silly joke...

[Bzzzz]

Three priests were in a railroad station on their way home to Pittsburgh.

Behind the ticket counter was a very sexy, shapely, well endowed woman wearing a very tight, skimpy sweater. She made the three priests very nervous, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.

The first priest approached the window, "Young lady, I would like three pickets to titsburg."

He completely lost his composure and fled.

The second priest goes to the window. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nipples and dimes."

Mortified, he too fled.

The third priest moves to the window, "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nickels and dimes.

And, if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his Peter at you."
:+

[Zenlitened]

1. LMAO!!!

:D :cry: :D

[DuaneBidoux]

2. You have of course heard about the dyslexic agnostic who

doesn't know whether or not Dog exists?

[onager]

3. How about some really bad nun jokes?

Q: What is the definition of suspicion?
A: A nun doing push-ups in a cucumber field.

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Two nuns are cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says "I've never come this way before"; the second one replies "Me either. Must be the cobblestones."

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So the new nun went to the Mother Superior and confessed that she had broken her vows and spent the whole weekend having insane sex with her high-school boyfriend. The Mother Superior said, "Your penance is...to suck a whole lemon". "Will that absolve me from my sin?" asked the young nun. "No," said the Mother Superior, "but it will get that silly grin off your face."

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A nun gets on a bus, which is empty except for the driver. After a while, she tells the bus driver she is very ill and wants to experience sex before she dies.

The bus driver agrees to accomodate her, but the nun explains that she can't have sex with a married man as that would be a very grave sin. The bus driver says, "No problem, I'm not married."

The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so they can only have anal sex.

The bus driver agrees again. Being the only two on the bus, they go to the back of the bus and take care of business. When they are done, the bus driver said: "Sister, I have a confession to make. I am married and have three children". The nun replies: "Thats OK. I have a confession too: I' m on my way to a costume party and my name is Dave."

[Synnical]

4. Funny

Thanks, will share

[Synnical]

5. Here's another, um , not really relative to this forum

But I don't where else to post it!

In Praise of Women over 40

Wrongly attributed to Andy Rooney. The correct author is one Frank Kaiser, and it's probably been updated/added to since Frank wrote it 2002 and it's been wandering about the internet ever since.

Terrific, nonetheless.

-Cindy in Fort Lauderdale


As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

Background: http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney2.asp