If Rosa Parks Were Covered on Fox

[Muffstser]

Hysterically funny...and all too true.

What FOX News Channel Would Have Done to Rosa Parks
by Cenk Uyger

Cindy Sheehan - in case you've been living in a box or you only watch the mainstream media - is the mom of slain Iraq War veteran Casey Sheehan. She is protesting in front of George Bush's Crawford ranch this month. This grieving mom has been characterized as a flip-flopper, accused of putting on a public circus, lambasted as a publicity seeking grandstander and criticized for not truly speaking for her family since an aunt and a godmother Matt Drudge found somewhere in the Sheehan family disagrees with her. The conservative attack machine is in high gear in the efforts to tear
this woman down.

That made me think of how it would have been in the Civil Rights era if Fox News Channel, Rush Limbaugh, Matt Drudge and the rest of the gang were around back then.

O'Reilly: "Rosa Parks claims she speaks for all of the African-Americans in the South, but in fact, we have found two African-Americans who say they disagree with her. They say she's just trying to gain publicity and doesn't speak for anyone in her race. They would know, they're black."

Hannity: "Could Rosa Parks be angling for a Senate run? What does she have to gain from her public stand? Coming up next, the incredible story of how this woman might be deceiving the whole country!"

Drudge: "We have found three members of the Parks family who say that Rosa doesn't speak for them. That, in fact, they are very happy with the government of the state of Alabama. The uncle, step-brother-in-law and niece three-times removed all agree that the better route is a dignified, respectful silent deference to authority. Developing ."

Limbaugh: "We have just found information that before Rosa Parks sat in the front of the bus, there were numerous times, she sat in the back of the bus! Ah ha! A flip-flopper!"

Drudge: "More stories on Rosa Parks scandalous history of consistently
sitting in the back of the bus before she changed her position and insisted she would only sit in the front of the bus. Developing ."

Malkin: "I think I speak for the entire Parks family, and especially her children, when I say that they are so embarrassed by their mother who is making a public spectacle of herself."

Hannity: "Rosa Parks has turned this whole so-called civil rights issue into a public circus. We have information that Ted Kennedy might have put her up
to this. That amazing story when we come back!"

Colmes: "You're right, Sean. I'm sorry."

O'Reilly: "To question the government of Alabama and implicitly the entire United States government by defying the political order like this has to be considered treasonous. Civil disobedience is a code word for I hate America. These people are criminals, simple criminals. It's ridiculous that they think they don't have to live by the same rules as the rest of us."

Scarborough: "Yeah, whatever they just said on Fox News Channel! Well . I mostly agree with it."

Kaplan: "Can we hire Shep Smith to cover this? Maybe give him his own show?"

Limbaugh: "What did I tell you folks? These libs like Parks would rather live in France where they can sit anywhere they want on the bus. They hate America. They want special privileges to be able to sit anywhere they want. They hide behind the color of their skin to try to undermine this country."

Coulter: "Rosa Parks is a dyke!"

Blitzer: "Dr. King, is it true that you support the liberal agitator Rosa Parks in her defiance of America? Can you confirm whether she has in fact sat in the back of the bus before? Do you think this makes her a flip-flopper? If she has been so inconsistent on this, how can we trust her on anything?"

Drudge: "MY SOURCES TELL ME THAT THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST TIME ROSA PARKS HAS EVER SAT IN THE FRONT OF THE BUS. A whole life of sitting in the back of the bus and now this woman claims all of a sudden she wants to sit in the front of the bus. Developing ."

O'Reilly: "Unbelievable, just unbelievable. Ridiculous!"

Hannity: "Incredible!"

Scarborough: "What did they just say?"

In Unison: "Flip-flopper! Flip-flopper! Flip-flopper!"

Blitzer: "Ms. Parks left the bus in disgrace today after it was confirmed that some members of her family did not agree with her, she had ruined her credibility by working for the NAACP before the bus incident, and she had in fact sat in the back of the bus on previous occasions. Now back to the emotionally wrenching story of the girl missing in ... ."

[Berry Cool]

1. Great, but a few things are missing/incorrect.

They left out the part where Faux News would be all over the fact that Martin Luther King Jr. had Rosa Parks all set up ahead of time to make her protest. They would report this as an eeevul conspiracy fomented by King's people with the deliberate purpose of instigating a bus boycott. They would say they are troublemakers who insist on raising a ruckus and refuse to allow slow, gradual change to take place in the South; they would rather force change upon it in a way that is bound to incite violence from otherwise law-abiding people. King's group can't possibly really be for nonviolence, because the way they are going about their business is so obviously designed to provoke it.

Oh, and Joe Scarborough would not even care or have a clue about any of this. He'd be too busy trying to get ratings from chasing the "man on honeymoon disappears from cruise ship" story.

[WolverineDG]

2. Don't forget the DUDQs

we're dooooomed, i tell you, dooooomed.

the DUDQs would be all up & arms: boycotting the buses won't work! no one's going to pay attention! it will take too long! (well, folks, it did take some time, but it DID work.) it will take the focus off the really important civil rights issues! it will make us look like crazy-eyed loons! did i mention we're dooooooomed????

dg

[Berry Cool]

3. Ain't that the truth!

Something to keep in mind as you head off to Camp Casey: it CAN be done! :-)