I lost my Blue today.

[Clark2008]

I'm sitting here waiting on my step-Dad to get off from work to dig the grave. I had to make a decision I hate having to make, but he was suffering.

He had a degenerative disease that had caused the muscles around his esophagus to lose strength and he couldn't swallow food without taking in air and he had food and muscus in his lungs. His esophagus was about three times its normal size. There was nothing that could be done and he was wasting away to nothing and coughing and wheezing. He was still wagging his tail, though. :cry:

I got to be with him when his suffering ended and I hope the last thing he heard was my whispering that I loved him.

Ramzey isn't quite sure what to make of this, but he asked if Blue was with Jesus now and I said, "Yes."

Thanks to those of you who sent prayers and some money. I'm only sorry that your efforts couldn't have been met with a happier ending.

[WhirlyGirl]

1. Oh Clark, I'm so sorry...

. . . Please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of your beloved pet. @~>~~~

[illini]

2. Dam that suxs. Sorry man.

nt What is there to say.

[Catchawave]

3. Oh sweetie, I am so sorry to hear....

:hug:

When you have a chance, please read this piece from Eugene O'Neill. I don't send those syrupy Rainbow Bridge sort of things....this essay will let Blue help you through your grief and loss, I promise:

http://www.eoneill.com/texts/blemie/contents.htm

[Clark2008]

17. Thank you.

That made me cry (again), but it was so sweet.

This is why I want to plant the wildflowers (see post below). Blue loved to get loose from the yard or the house and run over to the park next door and run "wild."

He'd always come home and usually brought the neighbor's dog with him (yes, it's illegal to have dogs off leash here, but no one cared because we all know each other and each others' pets.)

I'll remember him most running in the park and chasing the ducks and being VERY scared of the great egret when it would show up to nest (she's a big sucker - taller on her legs than Blue, who, at 75 pounds, wasn't small).

The smile (and he DID smile) on his face at a belly rub and the thump of his tail as it pounded the ground when someone would pet him while he laid down.

He was the sweetest dog I've ever owned - kind-hearted to a fault. Trooper is cuddly, but not as good-natured (until you get to know him) as Blue was.

So yes... the grief is here and it's painful and it's not going to go away any time soon, but I'm already remembering Blue in better situations. When I kissed my son goodnight, I told him that Blue was looking down from heaven and wagging his tail. :)

[CC]

4. Sorry to hear about

Blue, Clark and Ramzey. Not much anyone can say that would make it feel better but am sorry to hear you have lost a member of your family. Try to at least take comfort in the fact that he had a loving home where he could feel safe, secure and happy during his short life. Big hugs to both of you.

[Botany]

5. It is funny when the greatest give you can give to a "buddy" is .....

.... the gift to free him or her of it's pain. Remember money can give you
wealth but family, friends and dogs will make you rich.

I read somewhere about how we should not talk about "dog years" but how our
lives can be divided up by the dogs we have had. The hurt will be real and deep
my friend but it just goes to show your Blue will always live in your heart.

[WolverineDG]

6. I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry you lost your beloved Blue today. :cry: I'm sure he knew how much you loved him.

dg

[seito]

7. I am so sorry

I wish that words could bring comfort. :hug: At least you know that Blue is not suffering, and you were able to be with him at the end. I am sure that he knew how much both of you loved him. Our pets bring us so much comfort and joy, and they ask only that we love. You gave Blue a wonderful loving home. Even though his life was short, I am sure that his time with you was very happy.

[_q_]

8. Sorry for your loss

:-(
I know how hard it is to lose a really special pet.
At least you got to say goodbye.
-q

[Berry Cool]

9. I am so, so sorry

As another who has lost pets and knows how heartbreaking it is...all I can do is express my sympathy for the great sadness you feel.

Our hearts are with you.

[RevCheesehead]

10. I'm so sorry.

Lara, I know there's nothing to say that will take away your pain. I'm so touched by your response to Ramzey's question (tell him that your minister friend agrees with you).

You had to make one of the hardest decisions ever, but you let him go with dignity and grace, telling him you loved him. That was an act of courage, as well as love.

I'm sure your heart is aching (and it will for a while yet). Please know how much we love you, support you, and grieve with you.:hug:

(please PM me if I can help in any way.)

Ruth

[Clark2008]

12. Actually, this might have been good practice

for Ramzey in terms of understanding the dying process.
My Gran'ma, Ramzey's great-Gran'ma, as you may know, if very ill and in hospice. Her system is shutting down.
Ramzey had A LOT of questions about Heaven and what happens to our earthly bodies. Some of the questions I could answer, some I couldn't and told him I couldn't.
He said he knows all dogs go to Heaven because they're too sweet not to. :)
I didn't lie about Blue's body, either - I told him the bugs would feed on the body and their "poopy" would then fertilize the soil to grow new plants. As a result, I've decided that, once the soil settles over Blue's grave (it's too loose and we'll have to add more after it rains and settles the ground), but while it is still tilled, I am going to plant some wildflowers over the spot so he can see this in action.
That way, too, I can mark his grave (I nailed together some old 2X4s in a makeshift cross) without having that stoic old cross up. It may look odd to have a little patch of wildflowers in that one spot in the yard, but, to me, it will mean something.
If any of you are gardeners out there, please advise what wildflowers I could plant now - whether that's seeds or cuttings - that would grow rather quickly this time of year.

[RevCheesehead]

13. When our dog died (in 1974), my dad buried him in the backyard.

years later, Dad planted tomato plants pretty close to that spot. I asked him if they were Mac's tomatoes - and you know, they really were the best tomatoes that year!

Flowers are a wonderful idea. Why not choose something Blue? (some violets are more blue than purple)

Some other thoughts:
I know there's a Disney movie, "All Dogs Go to Heaven" (although I haven't seen it).

You might also watch "The Lion King" with him. At the beginning, Simba's father explains to him about the Circle of Life. This whole movie is rich with religious imagery (especially baptism), and can provide all sorts of opportunities to ask questions.

While I'm glad you're looking out for Ramzey, I hope you're taking some time to grieve yourself. Be sure to take the time to talk to your grandmother, and tell her the things you want her to know. Even a simple "I love you" can make a world of difference - for her, and for you.

[Clark2008]

15. Ramzey's already seen both those movies, which is where

he got some of the very SPECIFIC questions he asked. My favorite was: I know Jesus is a good man, but how is he going to remember to feed all those dogs?! Ha!

And, I'm grieving, believe me. I've cried all day - my nose is raw and my eyes look like two slits in the middle of a mass of puff. The grief is still very raw - and, if I know myself, will be worse tomorrow and the next few days (I think I'm still in a bit of shock, right now). I'm already developing a cold, which is something I NEVER get (haven't had a cold in 5 years, despite the numerous ones Ramzey's brought home) and my appetite isn't there (don't worry - I ate soup even though I didn't want it).

My 13-year-old cocker, Trooper, of course, is now the wonderful beneficiary of unrequited love. He's been getting a double-duty of extra cuddles today. :)

[CC]

14. Great idea for Ramzey and

you. On what flowers, you might want to check with your local agriculture extension and ask them what native plants grow well in your area. Usually native plants last longer and thrive better than non native. I have flowers but honestly don't know much about them. Pick what I like and usually shop at a local Amish place and just ask them any questions I have for here. My heart goes out to you both.

[gkhouston]

11. Oh, Clark I'm so sorry.

Letting go of one of your bestest friends is a hard step to have to take, even when you know you're releasing them from suffering. Many, many hugs to you and yours. :hug:

[Greylyn58]

16. I am so very, very sorry for your loss

To those of us that have pets, we know they add zest, life and love to our world. When they hurt, we hurt and when they are sick, we want to do all we can for them. And the greatest act of love is to know when to let them go so that they no longer suffer.

It is never easy to lose a pet because they are our family. I'm glad you were able to be with your baby at the end and I'm sure he knew that he was loved.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. :hug:

[Clark2008]

18. A very wonderful tribute from a Clarkie friend of mine

Made tears just pour down my already-chapped cheeks.



(P.S. For those of you not in the Clark campaign, you may not know that we had "Bark For Clark" gear for dogs. The "First K9 Clark Division" is a "pun" from that.)

[Gogi]

19. My condolences Clark.

You gave it your best, it was just Blue's time.

[Clark2008]

20. I told my son this and he said

(you can tell he watched Old Yeller) that Jesus needed a good dog and Blue's the best. It was his time.

[sparky_in_ma]

21. Very sorry you lost a friend

:cry:

[Nothing Without Hope]

22. Clark, I just saw one of your posts in another forum with the Blue RIP

I am so very sorry to hear this news. Knowing you did the right thing for him and he could feel you loving him as he took his last trip with you won't reduce the grief you feel for this wonderful friend. I hope the hurt eases as soon as it can so that thoughts of him turn again first to his sweetness and funniness rather than his final illness.

I'm thinking it is a lovely thing that Blue lived with people who allowed him to realize the potential of his sweet, loving nature. And he obviously taught you and Ramzey a lot, too.
:hug:

[Patsy Stone]

23. Very sorry to read about this Clark

It's never easy. I'm sure he did hear you and he certainly knew he was loved. I'll be think about all of you today. :grouphug: