Crispini wounds me again.

[Botany]

After seeing a picture of me and Steph she posted .....

Actually, Botany --
you are much less geekier-looking than I imagined you would be.

First the wheel, "Toys in Babeland," and now this. My Fav. EDV
can be so thoughtless and cruel. So when Sydnie shows up @ the
safe house in Door County Wisconsin where Crispini and the Rev
are holed up after their failed attempt to "Obernap" KO what little
spot do you think I should put the Texas Trollop into?

1. Handcuffed in her underwear to an apple tree because she
interrupted the Rev and Sparky.

2. Having 14 items in the 10 items or less line @ the store.

3. Involved in a string of liquor store hold ups to support her "adult toy"
habit.

4. She voted for George W. Bush and was a delegate for him @
the RNC ...... she has Texas "Big Hair," was a former cheerleader
and an Alpha Theta young repug in college, and thinks Sean Hannity
is sooooooo dreamy.

:bounce:

[gkhouston]

1. well...

if she was a former cheerleader, of course she has big hair and you know what they say, "Big Hair, Big Fun", and you don't want Crispi to have fun so it can't be #4.

I can't imagine her involved in a string of liquor store robberies to support her toy habit. Heck, all she'd do is flaunt some of the toys and they'd give her the booze. So that's out.

Handcuffed in her underwear to the apple tree because she interrupted the Rev and Sparky: and you think Crispi would find this undesirable? Puh-leeze don't throw her in that briar patch! (Hint: she's not being handcuff there to be excluded from R&S's activities!)

So, you're stuck with 14 items in the 10 items or less line. You dastardly fiend, you. Do your worst. :boring:

[Gogi]

2. Soundtrack for this little melodrama written and sung by Southern

Culture on the Skids

Liquored and Lacquered Up

Sample lyrics: "She's liquored and lacquered up, she's got the biggest hair in town" and "when she enters the bar everybody thinks she's a movie star."

:rofl: Heard this song last nite on Sirius Disorder!

[RevCheesehead]

4. ...

...:wow:

[SharonRB]

3. Gotta be #4 -- she'd hate that the most.

[Catchawave]

9. I'll vote #4 too.....

...because it was so damn funny :P

I love my KO-bot...the charm...the wit....the personality...and I know deep inside, I.AM.THE.ONLY.FAVORITE..snort.

[Botany]

11. SHHH!

I asked you to keep it quite.

:rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

5. As appealing as #1 is....

I'd have to agree that #4 is the best bet. It's even believable.

Have fun, Cuddles! :hug:<---Bot + Steph

[Berry Cool]

6. Uh, Rev...

...I believe you misspelled "appalling." Have a nice day! ;-)

(just kiddin' of course)

[gkhouston]

7. actually, Rev's spelling is usually dead on target

and so are her tranquilizer darts... which could be why we haven't heard anything from Crispi. I assume we'll get Sparky's reply when they invent a smiley equivalent for "spoing!" :evilgrin:

[sparky_in_ma]

8. Please do # 1

I have cash!:evilgrin:

[RevCheesehead]

10. ...

:loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya:

[gkhouston]

12. obviously haven't divorced yvr_girl yet if you've got cash....

or has the Power of Cheese cast her from your list? :evilgrin:

[sparky_in_ma]

17. I think that marriage is off

I had given my word to mike_c that I would defend him from all attempted lounge coups. When yvr girl started a coup, I was forced to put it down. She didn't take it well.:cry:

[RevCheesehead]

21. (rev does the happy dance)

:loveya::bounce::woohoo::bounce::loveya:

[Botany]

13. Crispini Confesses to the Rev.

About the liquor store hold ups, the express lane slow downs, and her
republican cheerleader Texas roots ......... Rev acts like she is interested but
really is watching out for "her Sparky," and when he comes ...... she 'cuffs
Crispini to the apple tree so she can have some magic time w/ Sparky.

[gkhouston]

14. your pronouns are tantalizingly ambiguous, Botany...

who's having the "magic time" with Sparky? :evilgrin:

[sparky_in_ma]

19. Both

:woohoo: :bounce:

[sparky_in_ma]

18. Bless you Botany

:woohoo:

[crispini]

15. LOL -- the "Texas Trollop"

:rofl: I have a new nickname! :rofl:

And, pllllllease, not #4! Anything but Hannitization! :puke:

[Botany]

16. The other EDVs sat in stunned silence as they watched the video .....

.....of Texas High School football. It looked to be from the 1980s by the clothes
and the hair and their she was CRISPINI on a friday night in the lone star state.
Her hair was big, tinted, and seemed to have a can of aqua net on it. Her outfit
had white calf high cowboy boots, blue shorts, and a red and white sequined top.
She also had on a youth for Reagan button on next to the pink carnation over
her left breast. And who was that in the front row watching all the young
"Miss Things," preform their "God Bless Texas half time show?" Oh my God
could it be ...... could it?

Yes, it was. James Baker, his wife, and the Bush family. The Vice President
also had sitting with him Tom DeLay and their eyes were transfixed on Crispini.
A sexless toadish looking man in his 30s approached Crispini at the end of the
show and handed her an envelope and then seemed to melt back into the crowd.
The man was Karl Rove. But what was in the envelope?

She looked into the envelope, smiled, and flashed a thumbs up at the Bush party
and then went back to join up with her other "sisters in cheering." The video
also showed the shape of a stumbling George W. Bush as two of his father's
"helpers" walked him towards a limo in the parking lot.

The die was cast ........ Crispini was to be an agent in the Bush Family mob.
"The Texas Trollop," had found her calling.

Coming soon: Crispini NYC 2004, a faux liberal demonstrator by day and
a RNC delegate by night.

[Berry Cool]

20. Ah, but what we really want to know is...

...during her secret double-agent life last summer, did she run into anyone interesting on the subway????

[Botany]

22. The fling w/ Chris Heinz?

???????????????????????

[crispini]

24. Ok, now THAT I'll admit to

in my dreams, heh heh heh.

But, with regards to the big hair cheerleader thing, little did KKKarl Rove and Shrubya know that the Texas Trollup was actually, in her heart of hearts, a LIEbrul who was SPYING on them for the Other Side. Yes, that little round-eyed gal was in fact... a DOUBLE AGENT! Or a triple agent! Something like that, anyway.

[gkhouston]

25. 'sides, you would never use AquaNet on your hair...

IIRC, StiffStuff worked much better... :-)

[Botany]

23. Crispini Confesses to the Rev.

Rev. Cheese watched the video of Crispini and felt an intervention
was in order. But how? Was she really from the dark side or had she
changed? And if so how? She seemed so normal to be hiding such a
dark secrete. So she went into her room and looked into her suitcase
and there it was, underneath her toys and oils proof of her double life.

"Rev., what are you doing in there?" asked Crispini who had walked into
her room to find her holding a picture of .............

Outside the room a Bay Air and her cubs frolicked by the Berry Bushes.

[Berry Cool]

26. And BerryBush felt compelled to ask...

"How come I always get stuck watching Bay Airs frolic, when I could be in the middle of all the action? Sheesh!!" :-(

[gkhouston]

27. you do it with Bay Airs?

kin-ky.... :rofl:

[Botany]

28. The paws that refreshes .... I was wondering about her salmon perfume.

But @ this juncture what should the picture of Crispini be?

1. Her and Neil Bush?
2. Staff person to Condi?
3. Working for Fox News?
4. Handcuffed to Robert Downey Jr?

And should Sydnie come into the story w/ Shopaholic?

Will Rev. Cheese tell Sparky that "My Kitty got wet."?

Great writing is hard work ..... LOL Hello Alison nice to
see you read the KOEB ..... Hair Down, neckline down, breasts,
up, and my pulse up. Nice look the other night! News I can use. :rofl:

Say hi to Alison everybody.

[RevCheesehead]

29. How about a picture of Skinner?

You choose which Skinner. Either one could work.
I think Sydnie was last seen skinny-dipping at Bleever pond.
I believe at this point, Sparky already knows about "my kitty."
:P

Botany - I was looking for your reply last night in a Lounge thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3372369&mesg_id=3372369

You need to post "the picture." Really. You must.

[Sydnie]

39. ROFL I would like to know what I am up to as well

If I am still skinny dipping, could someone pass me a towel please? Think prune ... it's starting to hurt! LOL

[gkhouston]

30. decisions, decisions

as for Crispi, I like the idea of working for Fox News. That's a heavy-duty undercover assignment.

I'd like to know what Sydnie and Shop are up to.

vis a vis Cheese and Sparky... wouldn't he already know? :think:

[Nothing Without Hope]

37. NOBODY ON EARTH deserves Neil Bush.

Perhaps there is some particularly putrescent alien life form that might...

[RevCheesehead]

31. too. damned. funny.

:rofl: I like the way your mind works.

[gkhouston]

32. yeah, we'll have to do some tandem snarking some night

when I can break free of the usual evening chores. :evilgrin:

[Nothing Without Hope]

33. Wow, Botany, I'm going to have to pay more attention to staying on your

GOOD side - those are NASTY! :scared:

I kinda like the first one...
:evilgrin:

[Berry Cool]

34. But I don't WANT to watch Bay Airs frolic!

I want to frolic myself!

I'm not just a location...a backdrop for Bay Airs...I'm a HUMAN BEING, DAMMIT! MY LIFE HAS VALUE!

Now I'm going to get up. I'm going to get up, and go to the sliding door of the balcony, and fling it open wide, and step out onto the balcony, and I'm going to scream...

"Keep your knees loose!"

[Nothing Without Hope]

35. Wow, those frolicking Bay Airs are REALLY inspiring!

:applause: :woohoo: :toast:

[Botany]

40. Somethings never change ......

....... and that was the case as Sydnie and Shop drove along the gravel
drive to the safe house in Door County, WS. BerryBush was frolicing
with the Bay Air cubs as the mother Bay Air watched and talked to the
Raven. Crispini was sleeping in her underwear on the cabin's front
porch, ....... (do you really think that she couldn't get out of the 'cuffs after
her years of experience with such "tools of love) ....... gulls were circling
overhead, and Steph, Perky Girl, & Alison were driving in too looking
for the EDVs who tried to Obernap KO.

The cabin's door was locked tight and Sparky and the Rev were inside.
Bleever was streaming video of the "action" on to a giant screen t.v. that was
set up in the barn. CC, GK, those 2 michigan women, and Hope watched
and took notes. "Up, around, and back under ..... nice move Sparky."
said, GK.

"Well it is all about keeping your knees loose." Alison said as she laughed and
poured her self a drink. "Want one Perky?"

Gogi and Catchawave weren't watching the t.v.. To them it just looked
like a rerun of the boiler room video. They went out into the meadow
to watch the sun was setting over Green Bay as "Uff Daaa ....... Uff Daaaaa," Came
from the cabin. And Berry fell asleep w/ the Bay cubs she was all froliced out.

[crispini]

41. LOL.

Now you're importing Stephanie, Monica and Alison. Well I guess Steph's already an honorary EDV so why the hell not?

Botany, you are a talented and, dare I say, lyrical writer. Keep up the good work. ;)

[Botany]

42. Crispini

Don't try to be nice now ...... Because I think the chances are good that
you will have been on assignment for Fox News (BTW they call it news?......
that propaganda would make Goebbles blush)

Maybe I can have you starting the Fox news question ...... "Some people
say .........." :rofl:

[Berry Cool]

43. No. Not gonna cut it.

I do NOT want to frolic with BAY AIR CUBS! And there is no way I would be "all froliced out" after frolicing only with THEM!

*grrrrrrrrr*

Oh, don't worry, I have contributions to make to this plot. Later...

[Botany]

44. To my Fav EDV of the KOEB ......

..... just grin and BEAR it. :rofl:

[CC]

45. Shouldn't that

be Grin and Bay Air it?


Momma Bay Air and the cubbies.

[Botany]

46. The sun rose in the east and a perfect June day was starting

in Door County, Wisconsin. The EDVs and guests were drinking coffee
and planing their day of doing "nothing." Sparky and the Rev. emerged
from their "slumbers" too. Being sensitive and considerate folk the gang only
chanted "Ufff Daaaaa! Uff Daaaaa!" a few times and hooked Sparky up to an
IV to replace his lost fluids.

"Where is Berry?" asked an EDV. I hear the Norwegian ski team is coming
by.

But Berry was fast asleep next to the cub Bay Airs she was "all froliced out."

[Berry Cool]

51. You know what, Botany...

...you're not going to be able to get away with this "all froliced out" stuff just by calling me your favorite EDV.

Even if it was a long time coming. :-)

[Botany]

52. Look I just report the facts ..... just like Fox news .......

did you or did you not say *grrrrrrrrr*

Where did you learn that if not from hanging w/ the Bay Airs?
KO hung w/ them ............ :rofl:

Relax maybe the mother Bay Air will hug you like CC has her hugging the cubs.

I mean you don't want to roll into Green Bay w/ Crispini & Sydnie do you?

:beer:

[RevCheesehead]

53. Really, you're right.

The Mother Bay-Aire takes Berry back to her den, where she discovers Keith, all snuggled up in a corner, looking for the bear cubs. Since Keith has learned how to cuddle, he is looking for someone to cuddle with. The Momma Bay-Aire knows this, and brings him the most cuddly EDV, just to keep her Keith happy (and to keep him away from the cubs).

[Botany]

55. So you want Berry to get busy w/ KO as the Bay Airs watch?

Kinky!
Will the EDVs be eating Brats and watching on video?

[RevCheesehead]

56. I suggest "Bay-Aire Cam"

Like Letterman did with the Monkey-Cam. :evilgrin:

[Berry Cool]

57. I'm liking this!!!!

Please, just don't put the video up on the Web! :blush:

...'cause Paris Hilton I ain't.

[Botany]

58. After all the teasing here was Berry's moment .......

...... "Oh Keef, you are so wonderful ...... the Bay Air family is so
wonderful ..... how could we make this moment any more wonderful?"
Berry felt wonderful and patted a spot on the Bay Air den floor next her
and motioned for him to come sit by her.

He smiled and said "You want to have some snark?"

She awoke hours later snuggled up next to the Bay Air cubs. Had she dreamed
the whole thing as she was all frolicked out? Although she could have sworn
that she had a countdown to ecstasy. ......... But she fell back asleep as
the cubs played tug o' war with a striped tie.

Outside a car w/ Crispini & Sydnie drove by on it's way to Green Bay and Cheese
and Sparky were walking in the meadow looking at the lupines as they fed each
other hunks of cheese from the Bass Lake cheese factory. A busload of Norwegians
headed towards the EDVs as a gull circled overhead.

:rofl: Gull Bay has been nominated for the greatest writing in the world!

[Berry Cool]

59. Of course it has...I NOMINATED IT!!!!!!! :-)

Botany, that has to be the most delicious chapter of Gull Bay I have ever read *swoon*

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

What happened between the snark invitation and awakening all froliced out? Ah, that's best left to the imagination...

[Berry Cool]

60. ...and all Berry could really clearly recall of the moments in between was

...a lovely baritone voice purring from somewhere that seemed far away...

"*Now* you know why I told you to keep your knees loose."

[Sydnie]

47. I LOVE that graphic!!!

:rofl: Perfect for the story line!

[Botany]

48. Sydnie ...

..... did I ever tell you that you are my Fav EDV?

Next chapter .....

Crispini & Sydnie terrorize Green Bay, WS.

[RevCheesehead]

49. we have a barn?

do we have moo-cows, too? :)

[Botany]

50. The story is in Wisconsin ..... What did you expect?

But you were not in the barn ...... you were in the "Safe House," w/
Sparky. Leave it to Bleever was streaming video of the action to
the giant screen TV. The rest of the EDVs did not want to Badger you. :rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

54. watch it, "buck-OH"

Those furry rodents can be nasty when provoked. :evilgrin:

[Nothing Without Hope]

36. My choice for NATURE PHOTO OF THE DAY (It's panoramic)

Found here: http://www.photo.net/photodb/photo?photo_id=1727572&size=lg

Caption:
Mesa Arch
by Morey Kitzman
Fuji 617 Panoramic (105mm lens)

http://gallery.photo.net.nyud.net:8090/photo/1727572-lg.jpg

[Nothing Without Hope]

38. oops - I had two KOEB threads open and posted this in the wrong one

oh well. It's gorgeous - you all can enjoy it twice. :hi:

[Botany]

61. Sydnie & Crispini were in Joannes Park in Green Bay, WS when ......

they met Dan and Tad two well built guys who invited them back to
their house that overlooked the Fox River. Things were going well
and these guys did not seem like jerks. Matter of fact their house
was clean and they were educated and very liberal. So when the men
asked if Crispini & Sydnie were into cuffs both laughed and said yes.

That was when things started to go bad. :evilgrin:

Cuffed to rolling chairs they were brought into the living room and
then the girls learned their fate ....... both Dan & Tad were gay and
wanted to do make overs on the girls. "Look at those highlights so
1985 ..... and those shoes please." :rofl:

[Sydnie]

62. ROFL

I would welcome their advice. Thanks Botany, you always know just what we need! :rofl: ;)

[Berry Cool]

63. Meanwhile, Berry was arousing herself from drowsy dreams

...and, as she became more awake and clear of mind, her memory of the past hours began to return.

"Now you know why I told you to keep your knees loose," purred the wonderful baritone voice in her memory.

"Ah...oh...yes...of course...anything for you, Keith," she recalled herself murmuring.

"And your glove well-oiled..."

She had smiled. "Believe me, you don't have to worry about that."

There was silence for a moment. Then his voice again, from a distance, now rather rough and loud. "So? What are you waiting for?...PLAY BALL!"

Now Berry could remember, all too painfully, how she'd risen with a start. "WHAT?!?!?"

And she had blinked her eyes open to see her intended beloved object of desire standing there in a baseball cap and a chest protector, looking rather annoyed and impatient.

"Get up there! You're the catcher!"

She couldn't believe it. "WHAT??!?"

Keith rolled his eyes. "Look around you."

She did. And saw herself surrounded...SURROUNDED...by Bay Airs.

One swinging a bat contemplatively near her, as if to test it. Others standing out in the nearby field...some of them appearing to be standing next to white bags someone had tossed out on the field in the form of a diamond. And the mother Bay Air on the top of a little hill in the middle of it all, winding up for a pitch...straight at HER.

"Oh...NO."

It had finally dawned on her what was happening.

These weren't just any Bay Airs.

These were...the Chicago Cubs.

So much for her memories of a blissful countdown to ecstasy.

:shrug:

[RevCheesehead]

68. Well, Lord knows they're all over Door County!

Damn FIBs! (but they do bring the $$ to the area)

Great addition! :applause:

[Botany]

66. Hope you liked it .....

..... You are my fav EDV!

[crispini]

64. LOL, Botany!

Trapped by the gay men! I love it! :rofl:

[Botany]

65. Well come on ......

...... do you think straight men care about clothes and hair?

For me ..... Hair keep it clean and not too much junk in it .....
stiff hair = not stiff me :rofl:

clothes .... gay dude "well it would look good with a full blouse and
and grey belt"

clothes ..... me ...... look good on the floor.

I wonder if the dudes will give you a new color? Sunshine Red?????

Hope you got a laugh out of this whole thing .... because that is
what Texas "trollops" need.

all the best

[crispini]

67. oh, a visit to Gull Bay

is always good for a laugh! and this Texas trollop enjoys it very much! :P

[Botany]

69. good

Glad you liked it ..... but please no hugs or cuffs ....


sometimes, after what I saw in Ohio last fall i just have to have a laugh ......

[crispini]

70. You mean none of THIS?

:evilgrin: