How Gatsby Got Wild

[Cruzan]

At least three portions in the book "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life," by Kaavya Viswanathan, bear striking similarities to writing in "Can You Keep a Secret?," a chick-lit novel by Sophie Kinsella.

LARRY KING: My guest tonight is Cruzan, author of the new bestseller "The Great Gatsby." Cruzan, welcome.

MR. CRUZAN: Thank you, Larry.

MR. KING: Tell us about the book.

MR. CRUZAN: It's the story of a man's quest to win the heart of a woman by amassing great wealth.

MR. KING: You set it in the 1920's. Why?

MR. CRUZAN: It just felt right to me.

MR. KING: The title is interesting.

MR. CRUZAN: The title is always hard but one day it just came to me.

MR. KING: The green light.

MR. CRUZAN: Indeed.

MR. KING: What does it symbolize?

MR. CRUZAN: So many things. Mostly hope, I think. But also wealth. Money is green. A traffic light can be green.

MR. KING: A lot of vegetables are green.

MR. CRUZAN: That's true, too.

MR. KING: I was struck by the narrator, Nick Carraway. Such a keen observer of life. He was obsessed with Gatsby, wasn't he?

MR. CRUZAN: He was.

MR. KING: And Daisy. What a character.

MR. CRUZAN: I modeled her on an old girlfriend of mine. Also on the actress Mia Farrow.

MR. KING: I can see it. This is a big departure from your first novel, "White Noise." The character of J. A. K. Gladney. Professor of Hitler studies at a small college. Versus Jay Gatsby. Similar first names though.

MR. CRUZAN: I love "White Noise." I'm still very proud of it.

MR. KING: As you should be. Detroit, you're on with author Cruzan.

CALLER: Hi, Larry. I love your show.

MR. KING: What's your question?

CALLER: I was wondering who Mr. Cruzan's influences are?

MR. KING: Good question. Cruzan?

MR. CRUZAN: I have very little time to read when I'm writing but Scott Fitzgerald and certainly Don DeLillo are both very big influences. I'm very familiar with their work.

MR. KING: Are there similarities between your new novel, "The Great Gatsby" and "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald?

MR. CRUZAN: Not so much "similarities." They're actually identical.

MR. KING: I see.

MR. CRUZAN: Except for my name as author.

MR. KING: And your book "White Noise?" Did DeLillo influence you heavily in the writing of that?

MR. CRUZAN: He did. Again, it's exactly the same book.

MR. KING: The exact same words, in the exact same order.

MR. CRUZAN: Identical.

MR. KING: Legal problem? Moral problem?

MR. CRUZAN: Not really. My agent and publisher are behind it 100 percent.

MR. KING: And the books are selling well?

MR. CRUZAN: Really well. I'm very fortunate.

MR. KING: What's next?

MR. CRUZAN: I'm working on a book about family, Larry. Aging parents, the siblings who've grown apart and are all struggling in their own ways.

MR. KING: Title?

MR. CRUZAN: "The Corrections."

MR. KING: The Jonathan Franzen book?

MR. CRUZAN: That's right.

MR. KING: But with your name on it?

MR. CRUZAN: Exactly.

MR. KING: That's great. Thank you so much. Cruzan. His new book is "The Great Gatsby." We'll be right back with Bono.

[dipsydoodle]

1. Yes..........

very entertaining:rofl:

A bit remeniscent of the joke about a new novel which starts "Last night I dreamt I went Mandalay again........ or " It was a dark and stormy night.........

[Cruzan]

2. Thanks, I'm very proud of it

[dipsydoodle]

3. Thought you might like this

*** The Bookshop Sketch - from Monty Python at the Hollywood Bowl ***

It's the Monty Python Bookshop sketch -

Customer: (entering the bookshop) Good morning.
Proprietor: Good morning, sir. Can I help you?
C: Er, yes. Do you have a copy of "Thirty Days in the Samarkind Desert with
the Duchess of Kent" by A. E. J. Eliott, O.B.E.?
P: Ah, well, I don't know the book, sir...
C: Er, never mind, never mind. How about "A Hundred and One Ways to
Start a Fight"?
P: ...By?
C: An Irish gentleman whose name eludes me for the moment.
P: Ah, no, well we haven't got it in stock, sir....
C: Oh, well, not to worry, not to worry. Can you help me with "David
Coperfield"?
P: Ah, yes, Dickens.
C: No....
P: (pause) I beg your pardon?
C: No, Edmund Wells.
P: I... *think* you'll find Charles Dickens wrote "David Copperfield", sir....
C: No, no, Dickens wrote "David Copperfield" with *two* Ps. This is
"David Coperfield" with *one* P by Edmund Wells.
P: "David Coperfield" with one P?
C: Yes, I should have said.
P: Yes, well in that case we don't have it.
C: (peering over counter) Funny, you've got a lot of books here....
P: (slightly perturbed) Yes, we do, but we don't have "David Coperfield"
with one P by Edmund Wells.
C: Pity, it's more thorough than the Dickens.
P: More THOROUGH?!?
C: Yes...I wonder if it might be worth a look through all your "David Copper-
field"s...
P: No, sir, all our "David Copperfield"s have two P's.
C: Are you quite sure?
P: Quite.
C: Not worth just looking?
P: Definitely not.
C: Oh... how 'bout "Grate Expectations"?
P: Yes, well we have that....
C: That's "G-R-A-T-E Expectations," also by Edmund Wells.
P: (pause) Yes, well in that case we don't have it. We don't have anything
by Edmund Wells, actually: he's not very popular.
C: Not "Knickerless Knickleby"? That's K-N-I-C-K-E-R-L-E-S-S.
P: (taciturn) No.
C: "Khristmas Karol" with a K?
P: (really quite perturbed) No....
C: Er, how about "A Sale of Two Titties"?
P: DEFINITELY NOT!
C: (moving towards door) Sorry to trouble you....
P: Not at all....
C: Good morning.
P: Good morning.
C: (turning around) Oh!
P: (deep breath) Yesss?
C: I wonder if you might have a copy of "Rarnaby Budge"?
P: No, as I say, we're right out of Edmund Wells!
C: No, not Edmund Wells - Charles Dikkens.
P: (pause - eagerly) Charles Dickens??
C: Yes.
P: (excitedly) You mean "Barnaby Rudge"!
C: No, "Rarnaby Budge" by Charles Dikkens. That's Dikkens with two Ks, the
well-known Dutch author.
P: (slight pause) No, well we don't have "Rarnaby Budge" by Charles Dikkens
with two Ks, the well-known Dutch author, and perhaps to save time I
should add that we don't have "Karnaby Fudge" by Darles Chickens, or
"Farmer of Sludge" by Marles Pickens, or even "Stickwick Stapers" by Farles
Wickens with four M's and a silent Q!!!!! Why don't you try W. H. Smith's?
C: Ah did, They sent me here.
P: DID they?
C: Oh, I wonder...
P: Oh, do go on, please.
C: Yes...I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys
Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of
Beckles"...volume eight.
P: (after a pause for recovery) No, we don't have that...funny, we've got a lot
of books here...well, I musn't keep you standing here...thank you,
C: Oh, well do, do you have-- ---\
P: No, we haven't. No, we haven't. |
C: B-b-b-but-- |
P: Sorry, no, it's one o'clock now, we're |
closing for lunch-- |
C: Ah, I--I saw it-- |-------loud arguments
P: I'm sorry-- |
C: I saw it over there! I saw it... |
P: What? What? WHAT?!? ---/
C: I saw it over there: "Olsen's Standard Book of British Birds".
P: (pause; trying to stay calm) "Olsen's Standard Book of British Birds"?
C: Yes...
P: O-L-S-E-N?
C: Yes....
P: B-I-R-D-S??
C: Yes.....
P: (beat) Yes, well, we do have that, as a matter of fact....
C: The expurgated version....
P: (pause; politely) I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that...?
C: The expurgated version.
P: (exploding) The EXPURGATED version of "Olsen's Standard Book of British
Birds"?!?!?!?!?
C: (desperately) The one without the gannet!
P: The one without the gannet-!!! They've ALL got the gannet!! It's a
Standard British Bird, the gannet, it's in all the books!!!
C: (insistent) Well, I don't like them...they wet their nests.
P: (furious) All right! I'll remove it!! (rrrip!) Any other birds you don't
like?!
C: I don't like the robin...
P: (screaming) The robin! Right! The robin! (rrrip!) There you are, any
others you don't like, any others?
C: The nuthatch?
P: Right! (flipping through the book) The nuthatch, the nuthatch, the
nuthatch, 'ere we are! (rrriiip!) There you are! NO gannets, NO robins,
NO nuthatches, THERE's your book!
C: (indignant) I can't buy that! It's torn!
P: (incoherent noise)
C: Ah, I wonder if you have--
P: God, ask me anything!! We got lots of books here, you know, it's a
bookshop!!
C: Er, how 'bout "Biggles Combs his Hair"?
P: No, no, we don't have that one, funny!
C: "The Gospel According to Charley Drake"?
P: No, no, no, try me again!
C: Ah...oh, I know! "Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying".
P: No, no, no, no, no,...What? WHAT??????
C: "Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying".
P: "Ethel the Aa--" YES!!!YES!!! WE'VE GOT IT!! (throwing books wildly about)
I-I've seen it somewhere!!! I know it!!! Hee hee hee hee hee!!! Ha ha hoo
ho---WAIT!! WAIT!! Is it?? Is it??? (triumphant) YES!!!!!! Here we are,
"Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying"!!!!! There's your book!!
(throwing it down) Now, BUY IT!!!
C: (quickly) I don't have enough money.
P: (desperate) I'll take a deposit!
C: I don't have ANY money!
P: I'll take a check!!
C: I don't have a checkbook!
P: I've got a blank one!!
C: I don't have a bank account!!
P: RIGHT!!!! I'll buy it FOR you! (ring) There we are, there's your change,
there's some money for a taxi on the way home, there's your book, now, now..
C: Wait, wait, wait!
P: What? What?!? WHAT?!? WHAT???!!
C: I can't read!!!
P: (staggeringly long pause; very quietly) You can't...read. (pause) RIGHT!!!
Sit down!! Sit down!! Sit!! Sit!! Are you sitting comfortably??? Right!!!
(opens book) "Ethel the Aardvark was hopping down the river valley one
lovely morning, trottety-trottety-trottety, when she might a nice little
quantity surveyor..." (fade out)
-

[Cruzan]

4. Oh that's very funny!

But it's not the same as writing one yourself, is it?

[newyawker99]

5. Hi Cruzan!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Blue_Tires]

6. bloody brilliant

and btw, Mira Sorvino was a MUCH better Daisy than Mia Farrow!


welcome to the site!

[Cruzan]

7. Thanks everyone!