the 7 lb fish really IS chimpy's best moment in office

[Gato Moteado]

even if he did mistake a carp for a perch.

i mean, let's face it, this is the presidency that gave us 911, tax cuts for the rich, anti-science legislation, no response to katrina, an illegal war, $4 per gallon gas prices, a culture of corruption and the list goes on.

so, a 7 lb carp is a pretty damn good moment in comparison. if the chimp wants to call it a perch, i say let him.

[LSparkle]

1. Any way you dice it, his presidency has been CRAPPIE

(Rim shot).

[Gato Moteado]

5. oh, did i say carp?

that was a typo.....i meant to type "crap". yes, he caught a 7lb turd in the septic field on his pig farm and he mistook it for a fish.

but that's ok. it's still his best moment as president.

[LSparkle]

13. Also "crappie" like the fish ...

(Rim shot) ... again.

[Gato Moteado]

14. yeah, i actually got the joke.....we used to catch a lot of crappies....

....up in fox lake in illinois. they were pretty damn tasty. better than bluegills.

[LSparkle]

15. Sorry -- I was afraid I'd be talking down by pointing it out ...

But you never know these days!

[Gato Moteado]

18. no need to be sorry.......

....i'm sure many people don't know about the joys of catching crappies!

now, have you ever gone smelt fishing?

[LSparkle]

27. Actually, never been fishing ... but have heard LOTS of fish reports!

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. It's good because he wasn't actually IN office at the time

creating new pain for the rest of us. Even a moment's respite is welcome.

[ComerPerro]

3. Exactly. That's what I thought was so funny about that story

What are some good things that Bush has done?


Well... uh... the Do Not Call list, and.. uh... one time he caught a really big fish while on vacation (he is on vacation a lot, you see).. and... uh... what else... ???

that's it!

[Kagemusha]

4. I thought it's a bass now.

nt

[Gato Moteado]

7. yeah, and we went into iraq to liberate the women there

these guys change their minds a lot.

a bass, a perch, a crappie, a snook, a marlin. whatever chimpy wants it to be that's what we'll call it.

[C_U_L8R]

6. Bush's regime is one stinkin' kettle of fish

P. U. stinky

[lutefisk]

8. "Caught" in a stocked fake lake on fake ranch by fake President

That is so fitting for Bush's stage managed reign of error.

All he can do is try and wise-crack his way out of unanswerable questions like that. Not funny!

[Inland]

9. Well, there's the Do Not Call Registry.

Then the fish. Not sure where to go from there.

[troubleinwinter]

10. It was seven AND A HALF pounds. They have released photographic PROOF...

[grannylib]

11. Exactly. He has nothing to which he can point as an actual accomplishment

in the five-plus years (is it only years? feels like decades, God help us) he's been playin' pResident.
He's done nothing. He is nothing. Nada. Bupkes. Zilch. BIG fat zero.

[Gato Moteado]

12. yeah, but he caught a fish

give credit where credit is due.

[sweetheart]

17. I bet he fucked the fish after it was dead

It would fit with his character.

[Gato Moteado]

19. no, rick santorum and john cornyn did that after chimpy tossed...

...the fish up on shore.

[sweetheart]

22. Then chimpy eats sloppy fish

for supper, just so show barb he knows how to eat humble pie.

Would you like some perch ala-sanroruyn, killed by a criminal idiot?

Would you like your perch fucked violently, or just incompetently?

Would you like it rovian or just flambe?

How about inside out pig-crawford style, or dignified with its eyes not fucked-out?

(sorry for the lurid imagery, kiddies! :-) )

[Gato Moteado]

24. hey now....i can't believe a DUer with the name sweetheart....

...is coming up with this stuff.

take it easy or my thread will get locked :(

[sweetheart]

25. apologies

No intentions to lock yer' thread here, usted.

He's killed thousands of people... sadly, if his crimes
could have just been contained to skull fucking people
in his prison-empire.

My worst vocabulary pales next to the bush administration reality, pales next
to the evil done by government in every prison, in every state in its fetid mess.

grrrrr... nothing personal, claro gente.

[Gato Moteado]

26. i was only kidding

you can swear as much as you'd like in my threads.

;)

[sweetheart]

29. ok - ~(eye-watering fuck'speak)

He's a rat fucking fucking fuck, that fickle fucker;
like his fuck-shooting vp-lame-duck, that fat violent motherfucker.
No crime, murder against life itself that cheapskate ducker,
in to the wet concrete foundation as it buries the citizen-fucker.

Once they become war criminals, its open seasons pickers,
sweetheart's vocabuary views of the republican smiling pluckers.

[Gato Moteado]

30. ah...truer words were never spoken!

what time is it in scotland right now?

[sweetheart]

31. right now

its 1:05pm GMT

[Gato Moteado]

32. so i guess you are about 7 hours ahead of central time in the US

nt

[sweetheart]

35. central

yes, 5 hours to the east coast, 8 hours to the west coast, 1 hour to paris/berlin.

The whole system of time used today was invented by the british to do global navigation,
and why the system puts the "zero" timezone at greenwich in london. By knowing GMT,
a ship can tell its longitude by observing the sky.

[tabasco]

33. Record oil company profits.

Massive no-bid contracts to Cheney's company.

War profiteering at unprecedented levels.

Rich getting richer. Poor getting poorer.

He has accomplishments alright. Just not the kind he can talk about.

It really is mission accomplished for the asshole.

He was put in there to steal our money and he has been wildly successful.

Thanks to stupid working people who vote republican (or Diebold?).

[Gato Moteado]

34. we can't attribute those accomplishments to bush really.....

....he was just the front man that the repuke party used to gain power. he is as dumb as he seems. he reads the scripts and does what he's told and they let him think he is pres.

[originalpckelly]

16. No his perch are full of more crap than most...

they also have the ability to reverse their digestive tract to spew crap out of their mouths. This only when they are pinned down. Ironic the President is also full of more crap and does the same digestive tract trick.

[bmbmd]

20. Wonder if this is on his IPOD?

Before the sun
Fixed me some coffee and a honey bun
Jumped in my pickup
gave her the gas
I'm goin' out to catch a five pound bass

Down by the lake side
Just off the ramp
All them people sleeping in their fising camp
Some out in the pup tents
Some out on the grass
They all be dreaming 'bout that five pound bass

The early birdie always gets his worm
Me I always get my wish
When you're talking 'bout that five pound bass son
The early wormy gets the fish

Jumped in my john boat
I stow my gear
I fire her up and when I am in the clear
I sail across that water
As smooth as glass
Ready here I come you five pound bass

I find a perfect spot
Some old dead trees
Back in a canyon where you cain't feel no breeze
I tie my lure
I make my cast
It's breakfast time you five pound bass

That old sun is rising
That water is clear
I watch my lure as it's flying through the air
I see a ripple
I hear a splash
Lord have mercy, It's a five pound bass

SPOKEN:
That's a five pound bass son
Aw it's big as a god damned baby

(The Five Pound Bass, by Robert Earl Keen)

[Octafish]

21. Bush has done NOTHING to make America better.

Not one single thing.
Not anything.
Nothing.

In fact, everything he's done has made America WORSE.

PSYCHO NAZI

[Gato Moteado]

23. well, technically he hasn't done anything.....

...he's the puppet. he just stands there and pretends to be a leader.

fishing is probably the hardest work he's done in 5 years. that, and posing for photo ops with a couple pieces of brush on his pig farm.

[sweetheart]

28. You had it without the text

"well, technically he hasn't done anything."

/already perfect