Broken Dreams, my wife's diagnosis today

[The Straight Story]

Today, after a lot of worry and wondering, we found out my wife (on DU her name is AutumnMist) has parkinson's disease.

I won't go into all the details as I want to focus on something that happened tonight.

I went to the drive through (a building where you literally drive through it and get beer/smokes/etc - I mention this because they are not available everywhere) and while waiting for someone to wait on me I saw a life size cut out of some young, good looking, blond woman in a bikini hawking beer.

And it all hit me at once.

My beautiful wife is not reflected in that at all. She is a mom, who is worried about how she will care for a 5 yr old as this progresses. She is a pretty woman whom would never appear in such ads because she has tremors, head shaking, etc. Her dreams are to be able to take care of our daughter, go to her soccer games, recitals, et al, and she may not be able to function well enough to do so.

She is not a model. She is not an image. She is a real life woman with hopes and dreams which are now in serious doubt - and she is not someone advertisers want to cater to. She is not the super model men want to see hawking beers. She is not an image to be posted strategically to get your attention. But she is a wonderful woman, artist, liberal, and mother.

She is all I hope humanity can be. But instead of people like her being shown, we are left with images of what we should want and need.

She is a great mother, wonderful wife, as good a woman as a man like me could hope for. But people want more. Perfection. In body and mind. And it makes me wonder - how shallow have we become?

Hers is an uphill battle. Her dreams of many things, from travel to proms, is broken. She sits crying over how this will affect our daughter - worried less about herself as she is how much I will have to deal with and how much it will impact our little girl. But she is relegated to the back row by companies because she is 'broken'.

Yet to me - she is more right and good than some bikini clad blond hawking beer.

Her dreams are crushed - but she carries on for the betterment of those she loves. And that to me is sexier and more endearing than some dumb ass image selling beer.

I am a bit toasted, so maybe not making much sense. Let me say this though with clarity:

I love her, she is a good woman, and I will always want her and all her problems than some damn image someone is trying to sell me.

Her dreams may be broken tonight - but I aim to fix them and be there for her always. And I would rather be here for her than some damn fake blond trying to sell me something.

Life is about more than eye candy.

To my wife: I love you, and I will work through this with you. As you get worse, I pray I get better. When you need my help to do even the most simple of things, I will be there for you making you laugh as I help you.

When you are down, I pray the lord I am there to rise you up.

We can't beat this my love, but we can experience it together as we have our previous 8 years. And I hope I am able to make these coming years the best we have had yet.

While some things won't get easier, I can assure you my love for you will only get deeper. Fuck the images of what love is - to me love is deeper than some dumb image. It is a whole package, it is what I feel for you, it is what I want to show you, what I want to experience with you - no matter what.

Thanks for letting me rant.

[mike_c]

1. good on 'ya bro....

Ya'll be strong. :hug:

[MissB]

2. Your wife is so fortunate to have you.

:hug:

[renate]

94. also, it sounds like you're fortunate to have your wife

:hug: to both of you.

What you've written is a beautiful tribute to her goodness--so you must be a pretty good guy yourself to have earned her love.

You both have a lot of friends sending you love and good wishes today.

[insane_cratic_gal]

134. wrong spot

sorry =)

[qanda]

3. Your wife is so blessed to have you

I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for her and for you. Words fail in times like this, but I know that this community will rally around you and your wife and will be there for you if you ever need anything.

[lastknowngood]

4. May God Bless you and her and keep her safe and strong as

possible.

[tatertop]

5. Thank you for sharing that

[stevedeshazer]

6. You are a terrific husband, I wish you both all the best

I'm going through a lot now myself, but I don't have the guts to post it. You did.

Some day I'll tell my story, too.

Your wife is lucky to have you.

[grasswire]

112. you, too, have friends Steve

Only a bus ride away on the #75.

[lindisfarne]

7. My heart goes out to you. A small consolation may be that a good portion

of federal funds for science are being spent on researching PD; there's a lot known and since PD usually takes a while to progress, perhaps science will have made more progress (a lot has been gained even over the last 10 years, and since a lot more focus is on it now, even more should be accomplished). Get in touch with support groups and find out how people cope.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

57. I also believe there is reason to be hopeful.

There have been great strides in both traditional & homeopathic medicine. We are in a much better place than we were 10, 20, 30 years ago. Your family will be in my family's prayers.

[cally]

8. That's a lovely tribute to real women everywhere

and to your wife. I know how devastating this diagnosis is because my sister was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 10 years ago when she was in her late 30s. Since that time, her symptoms have only gotten very slightly worse. She has been able to fully function and lead a full life. She joined an experimental program that worked. I would encourage you to search out medical experiments on Parkinsons because they are making great progress on this disease. Send me a PM when you digest the diagnosis and I will try to find out what program and medicine my sister is on. :hug:

[Lex]

20. I agree. A wonderful tribute.

A friend's father has Parkinsons and the progression has not been rapid.

I hope the same is true for The Straight Story's family as well.

[jrthin]

9. You are making a lot

of sense to me. You are a wonderful man, in all the ways that are important.

[SPKrazy]

10. No, You Aren't Just Toasted

you see things as they are, varnish stripped away

life is so much more important than he image we are told we are to want


I hope your wife is able to have her disease controlled well. Get a good neurologist as they aren't all the same

God bless you and your family

edit for typo

[goclark]

36. What a blessing to have such a wonderful family

and they are blessed to have you in their life.

[Robbien]

11. Misting up over here

Your wife is so much more luckier than the sales model because she has the love and support of someone who cherishes her.

I wish the best for her during her trials and wish the same to you also.

[ulysses]

12. most excellent.

Peace and strength to you both.

[knowbody0]

13. you are a beautiful man

with such sad news. may these next years be blessed.

[mcscajun]

14. An incredible testament to your relationship.

Very touching, moving, even.

You are a wonderful husband, and I wish you, your wife, and children all of the best.

[NastyRiffraff]

15. All women dream of having a husband like you

Broken dreams? Perhaps....it's a rough diagnosis, and I'm sure she as well as you are rocked by it.

But she has what many, many women dream of....a husband who loves and supports her, through storms and the sun. You'll get through this together, because your love for each other is strong, and that trumps anything.

Thank you for trusting us in DU enough to tell us this. My prayers are with you and your wife.

[driver8]

16. Wow...that is an amazing tribute to your wife.

She sounds like an amazing woman!

I am sorry to hear about her Parkinson's...I just never get over wondering why such shitty things happen to such good people.

[uppityperson]

17. my condolences, good luck, sounds like your head is on straight.

eye candy gets old fast. Better to have real love.

[Berserker]

18. The Straight Story

Thats not a rant thats a very beautiful and moving story about how much you love and respect your wife. She sounds like the kind of woman we all hope for. What a great thing for a husband to say, you sir are a good man.

[RevolutionStartsNow]

19. Your wife is very lucky

Depsite her disease, I'm sure in many ways her dreams have come true, thanks to you.

Hang in there, and hang onto each other.

[The Straight Story]

21. Wow - and thanks to you all

I am so grateful for the response here tonight. Means more to me than you can know.

We live in Ohio, but her roots and family are in California. We are working to move back there so she can be closer to family. I don't care about my job, my pay, etc, I just want her to be close to those she needs to be in these days.

I am planning on selling the house, quitting the job I have, and getting her home. She needs that. I need your prayers/good vibes.

I worked hard to build my career, and to try to make her dreams come true. Now what I want, more than anything, is to get her home - close to family and friends. She came here to Ohio for me and my dreams, now I want to do the same for her.

I can start over, and will. She cannot.

Thanks again to you all, and god bless.

[cally]

26. Where in California?

My sister's medical care is near LA.

[The Straight Story]

60. Bakersfield

is where she grew up.

[TomInTib]

34. It was just today that I was having a conversation with the head

of our Chamber of Commerce (Tiburon, CA) about her huband's Parkinson's.

Above all the other insidious diseases, Parkinson's chooses the best and brings upon them the worst.

TSS, I wish and hope for the smoothest transition for you and your family. Sounds like you have a solid and sensible plan.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

22. What a good and loving husband you are.

My late grandmother had Parkinson's disease for many years. You and your family are in my thoughts.

:grouphug:

[riderinthestorm]

23. Wow. Just wow.

Your tribute to your wife is very moving. If there is a thing as good karma, you will have cured her with this post!

Good luck to you and your family. With your love it's obvious you and yours have a steady rock of strength to get through this.

[Oceansaway]

24. positive thoughts beaming your way...n/t

[CrazyOrangeCat]

25. .

:grouphug:

[seabeyond]

27. you have stated what women feel. it doesnt matter how much

we try to share, it just is not felt. i can think of no bigger gift to your wife than your moment. and thank you for sharing it with us. it is a grand feeling to hear your words. honest words. from your heart

i feel for you wife. your child is so young. peace to her throughout her experience, and to you and to your daughter. i am a believer even in the worst of times there is a higher in all things. in your wifes fears adn yours and your daughters, remember to sit in the now where the fear doesnt exist, where it does not create a pain. love to you and to your wife and to your daughter.

you need to talk, we are here

take care of you guys.

[Minnesota Libra]

28. At least your wife has a really good man to stand by her and I'm sure.....

....she knows that too.:loveya: You guys will make it through this together and that is the best way you know.:loveya:

[Jigarotta]

29. you sound like a good husband.

and a good person.

She knows that. That's all that matters in the end.

[tandot]

30. Sending positives thought to you, your beautiful wife, and daughter

:grouphug:

I hope research will soon bring about a cure for Parkinsons and all the other devastating diseases.

[babylonsister]

31. Straight Story, first, let me give

you and your wife a hug. The best you can do for your family is be their support.
I have a stepson w/Friedrich's Ataxia; he has been getting progressively worse, is about to turn 35 or 36, and his diagnosis suggests he'll live to 50. My stepson and his wife just shared their 3rd child. I know his wife is stressed, but know equally well she loves him beyond the moon. She basically has 4 kids, though he's still able to work. It's stressful, but when you love someone, I don't think you'd have it any other way.
I had a radical mastectomy shortly after my first year of marriage, and we will be celebrating our 25th next year. All things are doable when you love someone.
So, here's the hugs for you both. :hug: :grouphug: :hug:

[Pirate Smile]

32. That is a lovely and wonderful "rant".

I pray for the best for your wife and your family.:grouphug:

[blonndee]

33. Oh my gods

I can't even respond well to this...
but thank YOU!

You brought tears to my eyes.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

35. You are the real deal.

My best wishes to you and your lovely wife.

[senseandsensibility]

37. Sharing your very personal feelings

couldn't have been easy, but your words made me cry. I am so sorry for what you and your lovely wife are going through. You are right that the corporations want to reduce us to some kind of product instead of the real human beings that we are. So many don't stop to realize that, or to express it. It needs to be said. Send our DU love to your wife, and best wishes.

[carolinalady]

38. My husband and I had a friend who was diagnosed with

Parkinson's in his twenties. He successfully completed an experimental brain surgery in Pittsburgh, PA. That was a good 10 years ago or so. If you have the time, please investigate this. I think it was at Alleghany General. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
K.

[spuddonna]

39. What a beautiful testament to love...

You, your wife and daughter will all be in my prayers...

What you have written are words of true love. It is clearly from your soul and you have succeeded in putting it into words quite eloquently...

I hope the days ahead are filled with love and grace to deal with the challenges ahead for yourself and your family...

[Scout1071]

40. Lots of years to be had with her.

I now know 2 people seriously affected by Parkinsons. Both have been diagnosed for over 6 years. Are they progressing? Yes. But, they are, for the most part, living their lives. Both are still walking, talking and loving life.

Be positive. Live each and every day to the fullest with your wife and your daughter. Neither will ever forget it.

[Ilsa]

41. I am so sorry. You can always rant here. My dad has Parkinson's

and he is beginning to have difficulties. I hope and pray for a cure soon for him and AutumnMist and all others suffering directly or indirectly.

[heidiho]

138. My best friends' husband was diagnosed on Monday with Parkinson's

After nearly a year of misdiagnosis (arthritis of the neck, etc.). She is so scared but she is very strong.

My thoughts and best wishes go out to you, your lovely wife and my friend and her husband. May a cure be on the horizon for you and for all of us who may contract this disease in the future.

[caligirl]

42. I am amazed at the human spirit at times like these, the real test of our

strength, our hearts, our mental toughness to endure a different road we didn't want to go down. The test of our relationships to each other, our parents and friends. I wish you the strength you will need and the love and warmth of friends and family. My road has had some tough detours and so I know it isn't easy without that support.:hug:

[Garbo 2004]

43. K & R and hugs to you both.

:grouphug:

[bloom]

44. That was sweet.

Good luck to you both.

:grouphug:

[Generic Other]

45. Good thoughts and positive energy being sent your way

Everyone should be so loved. Your wife is lucky.

[MadMaddie]

46. Your wife and daughter are lucky to have such a loving man...

Thank you for sharing with us...and I send your family hugs and kisses:grouphug:

[leftofthedial]

47. good for you. she is blessed to have you.

I'm sorry for the struggles ahead.

[northamericancitizen]

48. Good vibes and love to you and your wife.

[ninkasi]

49. Before you and your wife...

I stand humbled. You are the kind of husband that most women ever dream of. She must be the kind of woman every man really craves, a woman of such beauty of soul, and depth of goodness, that her being transcends every other consideration. I will pray, in my own way, that together, the two of you will be able to continue a life which is obviously centered on your loving family, and child

You and your family are the ones our country should be concentrating on helping. Why should we waste lives, and money, in the schemes of men who care nothing about the rest of us, but whose avarice makes a travesty of everything that our Founding Fathers tried to bequeath us?

You are worth, and your wife is worth, more to society than a million Dubyas, or billions of his cronies. I want, more than anything, for people like you and your family to be able to live lives of dignity, and be secure knowing that our society will make sure that women like your wife will be cared for, protected, and valued. I am sick to death of the shallowness of conservatives, who in truth scream nothing but hatred for people they don't agree with, but who would not lift a finger to help a loving family in need.

You are not ranting, you are just discussing with friend the issues which confront you. We are not Republicans, who will not respond unless there is benefit for us in reaching out to you. I pray, and hope, that your and your family's lives will be able to go forward, and that there will be help for you for every roadblock you encounter.

[Staph]

50. And a thoughtful, caring man like you . . .

is worth more than all the six-pack-abbed hunks in the world. Your wife has had a devastating blow, but it's obvious that she has a good man at her side. Bless you both. And as the two of you face this difficult journey, don't forget to take care of yourself as well. With all the love in the world, acting as a caretaker is an exhausting job.

[populistdriven]

51. i am speechless, you are both in my thoughts

[juajen]

52. If you don't mind me asking, what type of PD?

My brother has an advanced form, and it has laid him low within a year and a half.

However, had it been the regular PD, he could have lasted and been active and pretty comfortable for years, albeit with medication. I'm sure you've seen pictures of Katherine Hepburn, who had PD for over 20 years, I can't remember exactly how many.

At any rate, I wish you well and hope your wife will live for many more happy years. Also, stem cell research shows great promise for PD.

[The Straight Story]

59. Sorry for the late response, wife was reading thread

It made her feel better.

I can't go into all the specifics, but over the last year her tremors and facial expressions have gotten worse. She was shown to have an arachnoid cyst, which we thought was the problem. But we were just kidding ourselves.

Being adopted she has no real history of things. This all came as quite a surprise to us - but in retrospect it all makes sense. We just ignored it I suppose.

It's not the end of the world, but for us is the beginning of things. We have a name for her issues, and we have an ideal of where we will be going. It's not what we planned on, but it is something to go on.

I paced around the porch tonight, dreaming of ways I could find a cure. I just want her to be better, for her sake. It is frustrating that there is no cure.

[RedG1]

53. your 'rant' is a prayer...

a lotta love from the heart...she is blessed to have you and you have us whenever you want...

lost my mom a year ago today...and know the depths of sadness one can experience...

you and your Mrs. are in my prayers...

and I know you'll do hours and days of internet research...

lotsa hugs from Eddie in Connecticut

http://www.nwpf.org/

[Greybnk48]

54. My best wishes to both of you

Straight Story. Your character shines through and your wife could not possibly wish for a better partner in life.

[Vektor]

55. You're my new hero!

Along with my own husband who echoes the very same sentiments about true beauty vs. commercially viable imagery.

He is one of the very few men I have ever met who has NEVER made me feel like he'd prefer to look at some plasticized barbie doll than me.

I see your wife is lucky enough to have a man with real morals, also.

Thanks for making my night with this post. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers during this trying time.

[bleever]

56. Best wishes at every step.

My grandfather's hand trembles on the steering wheel of his Rambler as he drives me and my brother to go fishing.

That's the first thought that comes to mind.

Your wife's experience will be better than his of forty years ago. It won't be easy, but people here familiar with your posts know that you've got the strength and smarts to rise above.

[pnwmom]

58. Oh, that brings me back

When I was in my twenties I suddenly developed a life-threatening illness. And as I lay in the hospital bed, I remember watching TV and being chagrined at how completely PHONY all those images on TV are -- since in most of the world, even in the U.S., very few people fit any of those images. The overwhelming majority of those who watch television are older, sicker, poorer, etc than all those lovely people you see on TV.

How lucky for your wife to have had a husband with this insight. My prayers and best wishes for you both.

[alittlelark]

61. You are a wonderful friend and a stellar husband.

I sit/stand in awe.:yourock:




:cry: O8) :cry:

[mazzarro]

62. A truly touching testament to your family

My best wishes and regards to your family. Please keep that sentiment always with you!

[madrchsod]

63. rant? i`d say that it`s just reaching out to your friends

here that are ready to listen,give you comfort in your time of need. i`d say your family knows you are quite a guy and so do we...she will never know what tomorrow brings but she knows how much you love her and that is what counts

[Bluebear]

64. You have just defined what love is.

And with it, I send my love to you both and all best wishes.

[Stinky The Clown]

65. You're a good man, my friend.

Your words really got to me. Be strong, but don't be afraid to look to your wife for comfort, too. You know she'll be there for you as you are for her. Love works that way.

Yours are the very picture of family values.

[virgdem]

66. Thank you for sharing your thoughts...

I wish you and your wife the best. She is very lucky to have your love and support as she battles Parkinson's.

[Canuckistanian]

67. What an inspiration both you and your wife are

In this world of shallow appearances and empty dreams, you realize that your lives are worth more together than the sum of the two of you separately.

I wish you both health and good fortune.

[midnight]

68. Hi Straight Story.

I hope that you are able to keep your strength as your family moves through this incredible change. It sounds like your sensitivity is heightened toward your awareness of what real women are vs madison fifth ave.

[MissMarple]

69. Oh, sweetheart.

I have no words, except, I am truly so very sorry. :grouphug:

[Gloria]

70. My father had Parkinson's, probably undetected for many years....

My mother really kept him on track and your wife is really lucky to have a husband like you.

[jollyreaper2112]

71. my 2 cents

Ignore ads. They aren't about anything but making you disatisfied with yourself and your state in life so you'll buy stupid shit to fill that hole. There's a candy bar ad where a guy has a failure of a date and he opens the candy bar and there's a hot chick in there telling him how great he is. If that isn't some sort of twisted Freudian example of advertsing evil, I'll kiss your ass.

Take everything you wrote here and tell it to her straight. As bad as you feel hearing about this diagnosis, she's the one living with it. Show her your love.

[niyad]

72. you are not ranting, you are speaking from your heart and soul--and we

are deeply honoured that you and your wife have allowed us to share in your life. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with your wonderful family, for the strength to get through this, and to know that when you need it, we of the DU community are here for all of you.

and yes, do remember that Kate had it for many years, and also Michael J Fox, who is working tirelessly for PD research.

Peace

[WilliamPitt]

73. Extraordinary post

I'd tell you to keep strong, be steady, love your wife...but I don't have to.

You're already there.

[Frustratedlady]

74. Strong wishes and prayers heading your way.

I know what you are going through, as my husband was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's and I felt someone had kicked me in the stomach. In order to keep it at arm's length so it didn't eat us up, we made it into a project which allowed us to work together to solve the problems, one by one as they arose. It helped get us past the horrible emotional downer and allowed us to find innovative ways to jump over the hurdles along the way. We grew closer than we ever thought possible and you will, too.

May you find peace and strength within each other. There is no greater love you can give your wife than to stand beside her all the way. Bless you both.

[Rainscents]

75. This story is very heart warming and thank you for sharing

with us! My father had the same thing and he had it for 25 years and the illeness was not the cause of his death, it was the other. One can live very long time, mean while, lets we hope, they'll find cure someday for this and all of others too. You two are perfect for each other and it was ment to be! God Bless both of you.

Hello AutumMist!!! :hi: I love reading your post!

[barbtries]

76. she's got a

good man. best wishes to your entire family

[SalviaBlue]

77. Thanks for sharing this with us.

[medeak]

78. check your inbox

will notify Danca about this... he's the man!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

79. You're a gem

Whatever problems your wife has with the Parkinson's (and I know about them, because my father had it), she's lucky to have you.

[preciousdove]

80. Since I can't PM you; something for another day

I am so sorry your wife is going through this but I need to give you some information. I am the with a major Lyme Disease Organization and I know way more about Lyme and diseases LYme mimics than I ever wanted to know. Parkinson's is an elimination diagnosis. It means that there is damage to the part of the brain that produces something that keeps movements fluid but the doctor did not find a reason.

That said. Michael J Fox the poster child for Parkinson's got Lyme Disease while filming a movie in Canada. He was given the standard treatment too little and pronounced cured. Parkinson's medicines do not work on him because the low level brain infection in Chronic Lyme is still active and the damage is still going on. We had a fellow who has twice been diagnosed with Parkinson's at one of our meetings last month. Once when he was a teen and gain 5 years ago. He is perfectly fine now that he has been retreated for Lyme Disease with a long term dosage of a combination of antibiotics. YOu have to get a doctor familiar with Lyme or you wife will get no help. Tests for Lyme are poor especially after the first few weeks of infection.

It is very unusual for young people with no history of brain infection, drug use or injury to develop true Parkinson's but there are a lot of people walking around diagnosed with Parkinson's who actually have Lyme and can recover if they find the right doctor and treatment. Unfortunately your insurance will gladly give you beacoup money to throw at the Parkinson's but treatment for Lyme is often a battle (over 6 weeks). For that treason many people accept their "fate" and do not fight to get their health back

I won't go into the gory details of the failure of the Medical Community to humanely and accurately address Lyme Disease but someday you may want to know and the information is available at the ILADS.org website and LymeNet.org the first online Lyme Disease website.

Whatever happens your family is in my prayers from now on.

[helderheid]

81. We must change "sex sells" to "humanity sells". We must work towards

coming together and not keeping apart.

i am so sorry about what you're going through.

[ananda]

82. Aren't there some good treatments..

.. and protocols to combat Parkinson's these days?
I thought it was something you could get under
control or at least way slow down.

Good luck!

Sue

[WiseButAngrySara]

83. What a moving, wonderful 'rant'! It brought tears to my eyes. Tell your

lovely wife not to worry about your daughter; we are all healed by love, and it sounds as if your family is blessed with it. Do not give up hope and love, in spite of whatever diagnosis your wife has been labeled with!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

84. K&R... Thank you and prayers to you and your family.

You nailed it.

[DeepModem Mom]

85. Blessings on your family. K&R

[Carla in Ca]

86. All our best to you and your family

YOU are 'the beautiful people'. :hug:

[LeftofU]

87. Thank You....

.....for reminding us of how important that person sitting next to us really is.

[PatrioticLeftie]

88. Stay strong

I'm hoping for the best

[Desertrose]

89. You guys are lucky to have each other.....

even though it may not seem it at times, but you are truly blessed to understand the depth and breadth of honestly loving another human being.
This, to me, is REAL love.

Best wishes and :hug: to you both.
DR

[nicknameless]

90. What wonderful, inspiring human beings both of you are.

Doctors don't know everything -- even the self-appointed deity ones.

Bernie Siegel tells patients that there is no such thing as false hope -- only false NO hope.

Someone posted a poll about AIDS the other day. How many of us lost numerous friends in the 1980s?
AIDS was looked upon as an automatic death sentence at one time. But things changed.

Please don't give up on the idea that she can get better or that help can be found.

:hug:

[Horse with no Name]

91. I am in tears

at such a wonderful tribute.
May the good days far outnumber the bad...while we fight for stem cell research so that your wife's dreams don't begin and end with the diagnosis of a potentially curable disease.
Keep the faith. This WILL happen in our lifetime.

[JCMach1]

92. Here is to love and hope!

:toast:

[Q3JR4]

93. I'm sorry to hear it,

:cry: It was just so sad, I'm tearing up over here.

I'm glad that she found someone who cares about her that way, and I wish only the best for you both.

Sending good energy and thoughts in your direction in hopes of a quick return home for her.

:hug:

[Nostradammit]

95. You are a good man, Straight Story

& we need more of you.


All my most positive thoughts are centered on your wife.

[PsychoDad]

96. Take each day as the gift it is.

It sounds as you already know what is truely important in life, and what love really is all about.

How many others out there have yet to learn this...

Peace to you and your wife my friend. :hug:

[democrank]

97. Your family is fortunate to have you.

All the best to you and yours. Take care.

[Oversea Visitor]

98. You know

I can tell if a person is a really WARM BEAUTFUL and LOVELY human being just from their post.

No I need not look at their physical self to know this cause many a time I have seen many physically beautiful people but they real UGLY cause they dont have good human values. And all that beauty would not make them my friends.

Very sorry and sad on news of parkinson disease. But she still AutumnMist. And DU will still love her.

Now for a straight story....
Remember Kephra ... sad me forget real name maybe was Scott Lowery or close to that I think
( dont have uber photograhic memory). He is a beautiful human being. DU love him and we all miss him.
To say he look like Mr Universe would be streaching the truth all the way to the moon.
To say that he was physically a normal healthy man would also be the same.

But he is a Warm, Lovely and Beautiful human being.
And I would rather has Kephra as a friend than a million ugly people.

[Paradise]

99. just shared this with my daughters, and

told them "now, THERE'S a real man..."

kudos to you TSS!

[MadHound]

100. Thank you for that profound and moving tribute to your wife

And I wish all the best for the both of you. Don't lose your hope nor abandon your dreams in the face of this disease. My mother has Parkinson's, has had it for a number of years now. She is still active and involved, still drives and bikes and enjoys life. While ultimately there is no hope of anybody beating this disease, there is much hope in both prolonging your wife's life, and hope in keeping the quality of her life quite high. Don't despair, there is hope.

A couple of things that I would recommend based on my mother's ongoing battle. First of all, your wife needs to adapt a physical regimen that she enjoys and keeps her active. My mother both swims and practices tai chi on a daily basis. Both of these exercises are low impact and improve strength and coordination. Secondly your wife needs to consult with a specialist in order to set out a drug and dietary regimen to help battle this disease. Finally both of you need to form a support group to help you, your wife and your family. There are going to be times when you or your wife or your daughter need a shoulder to cry on, somebody to blow off steam with, somebody who understands the situation that you're in. If you check around your community I'm sure you will find such groups, and also rely on friends and family.

I'm so sorry for you, your wife and your family. But don't give up, the battle is far from over, and your wife can have many happy, healthy years together.

[WinkyDink]

101. You are the best kind of man. God bless you, AutumnMist, and your family.

Your DU family will always be here for you.

[Coexist]

102. What a beautiful tribute.

Best of luck in the coming years.

[Festivito]

103. My mom had slow progressing Parkinson's. Everyone loved her.

They have a lot of new meds, and old ones that work that are not costly.

Remember that people who stay away from others because of how they look while missing the real person underneath are the same people you want to stay away from you. Consider that some of the side effects can be blessings.

Nice rant. She's a lucky person to have you.

[lonestarnot]

104. Dedication my friend dedication to family is one of the greatest virtues.

[Synnical]

105. My best to your family

And thank you for posting this.

[sinkingfeeling]

106. What a beautiful tribute to your wife and daughter. Perfect for Mothers'

Day. You, sir, are a wonderful man and human being. Bless you.

[Triana]

107. You're a rare one, SS and apparently a great guy...

...she's lucky to have someone as devoted who loves her that much. My very best wishes to you both. As you go forward, I wish you much health, happiness, laughter, strength, prosperity, and peace - for you and your kids. YOU know what real beauty and love is. Some people actually get that. You're obviously one of them. Don't let society's pretentious, superficial standard of McBeauty convince you that it's anything else than what you have. It's not.

Best Regards....

[MsTryska]

108. My Condolences on the Sad news....

My Dad has parkinsons, and it's a tough disease.

May I suggest this site to you?

http://www.myparkinsons.org/cgi-bin/forum/board_show.pl?id=1

I've learned tons of stuff, and it's great to know we aren't the only ones, going throuhg some of the symptoms of this disease. I've even been able to pick up things to try (that have worked successfully) for my Dad.

Best of luck!

[movie_girl99]

109. that was beautiful..you guys are lucky to have one another n/t

[proud2BlibKansan]

110. My dad had Parkinson's

and we had great support from The Parkinson's Society.

Stay strong. Keep us informed.

[frankly_fedup2]

111. Isn't that still young for Parkinson's? Is that what Michael J. Fox has?

Parkinson's use to be a disease that was only seen in elderly patients, wasn't it? I may be thinking of the wrong disease.

I think it is wonderful what you have posted. Thanks for explaining what a "through" is because I would have never known what that was.

I'm glad you posted what you did. I hear the anger in your post, the sadness, the frustration, and most importantly, your love for your wife and daughter.

My husband is a man like you. I say they broke the mold when they made him but sounds like you came from the same mold. After posting my story regarding my disability, the pain I'm in all the time, the 21 pills a day I take plus wearing a morphine patch, I got a response from the members here and it was overwhelming to know that so many people would take the time just to say a few words. You are not alone!

She probably has good days and bad. The good are wonderful but the bad are really, really bad. I know this puts you under more stress as well. My husband over the last 15 years is always upbeat, kisses me by in the morning and tells me he loves me at least twice a day. Some days I'm in the bed all day and that can lead into a week. Other days I can and try to keep up with things around my house. My income went from $35 thousand a year to almost $12 thousand from disability (I hope some neocon is reading this part). Sorry, had to get that out. Anyway, our whole lives have changed. I'm sure since your wife started having symptoms from this illness, her ability to do certain things now are limited as well as her stamina and strength. I'm sure she feels she has let you down and it sounds like she is so scared she will let your daughter down. Her doubt in herself and feeling responsible in some way for causing the disease is ridiculous sounding I know; however, it sounds like she is blaming herself already for something she has in no way caused. My husband has never made me feel in anyway guilty about my circumstances . . . but I do.

I'm sorry to be so long. I think this is why whenever I post to a message, I never get a reply back. I've started to call myself the "Thread Terminator."

Basically, what I've been wanting to say is I hope you save your post. Print it out and keep it somewhere (your wallet) close so on those days you get frustrated or she gets so depressed or is in too much pain for you to stand to see her in, it will be a constant reminder to you just how much you love this woman. I know you don't need a piece of paper to remind you of that, but sometimes during hard times in our lives, some little thing will happen or you will remember something and it does actually help you to get through the day.

When I became ill, I read an article that stated that 9 out of every 10 men will leave their wives if they become disabled or if they are an alcoholic. However, only 1 out of every 10 women will leave their husbands. Your wife and I are really blessed to have husbands in that 1% category.

[The Straight Story]

117. Thanks to you (and all here) who have replied, I am stunned

by the kindness shown.

You said:
When I became ill, I read an article that stated that 9 out of every 10 men will leave their wives if they become disabled or if they are an alcoholic. However, only 1 out of every 10 women will leave their husbands. Your wife and I are really blessed to have husbands in that 1% category.

I wonder if this relates to how women have become objectified - if not perfect or near it in some ways than men don't want to be seen with them. All those guys on tv ads and shows have the pretty woman with the perfect figure.

Women have become a tool in the eyes of advertisers/producers and that has filtered to some men - it's not a partnership it's 'owning' some eye candy. We desire that which pleases the eye because we become too shallow to see any deeper. Not that I don't look and admire a pretty lady, heck yeah :) but then I admire photos of ireland, art work, and other things as well.

So yeah, advertisers and movie folks can grab my attention. They just have not really found a way to grab my heart. It is a shame that so many men, and some women as well, define love by dysfunction. I didn't go shopping for a barbie doll (pretty, thin, does not talk, and wears what you make her wear) I went looking for a friend to spend a life with. I got both beauty and brains with her, as well as a compassionate soul.

Good luck my friend, and should you find yourself in Ohio sometime bring the old man over for a few beers and some fishing.

[frankly_fedup2]

127. My husband is from Columbus (small World) and beer happens to be

his drink of choice as well. He was born in Columbus and lived there until he was 13 and moved to Richland's, VA. (right at Grundy, and if you have ever been to Grundy . . . well . . .the Sun never shines there). Also, the drive-through you talked about, that was the first time I had ever seen one was when we were in Ohio visiting friends and family.

As for a woman's appearance, all one has to do is look at the eating disorders girls have, women suffer with all their lives. Yes, men get them as well; however, a woman is judged on her appearance and it's just not fair. I used laxatives whenever I thought I had eaten too much when I was in my teens as well as making myself throw up. I've fought all my life to stay thin, even when I was pregnant to some extent; however, due to my illness, I do not move that much but still eat the same, and when you do that, you tend to put on the pounds (which I have). I find myself utterly disgusting and I hardly ever leave our home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not so obese I cannot leave the home, I just choose not to. Plus I have to ride the disabled carts in the store and people just stare at me. I told my husband I was going to write up a little business card, explain my condition, the symptoms, the meds, and why I park in handicapped parking and then need to ride the carts. Some people are so rude and ignorant (must be the Republicans in the store). They will hear me right behind them, turn around and look, and then continue to just block my way. The only thing I hate about the carts is the fact that when I have to back up they go (BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP). It's embarrassing.

I've been in the hospital with a bulimic girl. We went to the cafeteria one night, they had chocolate cake . . . well . . . chocolate cake is like my favorite thing in the world as far as food. Anyway, she got one too and as soon as we got back to our unit, I could see her sitting and she seemed really anxious. She got up and said she had to go to the bathroom. I told her that she knew that I was going to report on her if she threw up and she swore she wasn't going to. I listened at the door, and it didn't sound like she had thrown up, but she may have mastered silent vomiting? No one asked me to do this; however, I told I was doing it because I wanted to help her.

You could IM or email any of us privately, and I don't want to speak for everyone, but there is someone online 24/7, and there will always be someone there for you and your wife if you ever need a shoulder or help in any way. This has been a good community to be a part of.

From all of the responses (more will come), you can see that too.

Here's to taking one day at a time, loving each other, understanding each other, and sharing that love with the beautiful little girl that has come from your love. . . and oh yeah, here is to a cigarette and a beer if we all ever meet.

[Samurai_Writer]

113. What a beautiful tribute to your wife and all real women

SS, you made me tear up, that was so moving. You and your wife sound like my mom and dad -- they were deeply in love until my dad's death. That was 12 years ago, and I know my mom still misses him -- she told me she would never find another man as good as my dad, and that is why she wasn't even going to try to. You sound a lot like him, and your wife sounds like a wonderful woman. You're both lucky to have each other. Cherish it every day. My thoughts are with you.

[Autonomy]

114. Don't know if anyone else mentioned this

but Parkinson's is not necessarily as grim a diagnosis as it once was. They are making a LOT of inroads to treatment. The course of the disease tends to be gradual and protracted, so medical science may actually outpace the course of her disease. Just saying there's more hope than you may realize!

[The Straight Story]

119. We are hopeful of that

And have tried to cheer ourselves up that things may not progress so badly, or quickly.

It's like a roller coaster, up for a little bit, then down and crying. Don't know what the future will bring - but I know the present has us close together, I know the present is real and can be touched, I know the present is all we have as life could end the next minute unexpectedly.

I got hope. I got fears. And right now I have her and my daughter. And right now is the best day of my life because of what I have.

One day things won't be so good. I dread that they may come, a day when I look back and say life was better then than now. So the real struggle is going to be looking at that day and saying "I wouldn't trade today for yesterday". That will be my goal with her and my daughter. To be as happy then as we are now. To be more happy. If I reach no other goals in life, I hope we reach that one.

[ms liberty]

115. Life events like these are what separates the men from the boys...

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 9 years ago, my husband reacted much as you have; nothing could have been better for my survival than his continued unconditional love. When I was a bald woman with no energy to do anything except barf my guts up he rubbed my bald head and communicated his love and desire for me; he made me feel human, feel loved and needed.

You are a man like that; you will support her. You'll push her when she needs it, and make her rest when she needs it, you'll love her, desire her, and need her when she needs it most. You'll help her always. She is as lucky to have you as you are to have her.

This event is just a new path on the road your family is on. You will educate yourselves on every aspect of this illness, on every possible treatment; you'll make decisions together as you travel this path. This seems a tragedy now - but it is also an opportunity; it will bring you closer than you had ever thought you could be, as you learn and grow together.

You, AutumnMist, and your family have my love, my prayers, and all the positive vibes I can send to you. Thank you for sharing with us this news; one of the first steps in a fight like this is to share the pain. The love and assistance from friends and family will help you and them to deal with this new experience.

Please keep us updated as you are able - I think you can tell from the replies to this thread that DU cares about you. We're here when you need us.

[Saphire]

116. Beautiful, now go tell her that...........

[SmokingJacket]

118. Best wishes to you.

:hug:

You both have love -- that matters more than anything.

[DemExpat]

120. What a powerful post ..... to inspire my response to your wife -

even in this frightening and sad circumstance of illness:

What a lucky woman she is!

:hug:

DemEx

[Kurovski]

121. One of the great misfortunes of the corporate mindset

is that it diminishes the ability to see beauty exactly where it is: and it's everywhere.

Even in the midst of strife, there is a deep beauty that resides in a persons soul, and you have herein brought it to light.

[meowfire]

122. I could only one day hope

to one day have a loving wife and family like your own.

I've read many times that America is an extremely high stress society. I think you've touched on a root cause. Perhaps the best that can be hoped for is to attempt to shield oneself as well as friends and family.

You have love... and that is worth an awful lot. Best wishes.

[Blue_In_AK]

123. StraightShooter, you and your wife are blessed

to have each other during this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

124. Beautiful.Thoughts & prayers for you,The Straight Story, & for AutumnMist.

God Bless.

[muchacho]

125. rant away

vent brother, that's what a community is here for. It's not all good news...

[BrklynLiberal]

126. You and your wife seem to have found something very rare and precious.

Your committment to each other will be the best medicine for this hardship, No doubt, whatever the outcome, you will have the love and strength to deal with it together.

Your post had me in tears.

I will be sending white light and positive energy for both of you.

[foreverdem]

128. Beautiful post

And you are a beautiful person. You, your wife and little girl are lucky to have each other.

I will keep you in my prayers and stay strong.

[BluePatriot]

129. ...

I was very touched by what you have written here. Your wife is lucky to be so loved, and you are lucky that you know how to love. Best wishes to you and your wife on the journey ahead.

[progressivebydesign]

130. That was beautiful. I completely understand what you're saying.

Your wife and daughter are so lucky that you see the world the way you do. You're right, the carboard cutouts are meaningless. Natural beauty and inner beauty is what's real. Anyone with enough money can buy outward beauty now... and you're so wonderful to acknowledge that and put in into perspective. Please let AutumnMist know that we're all thinking about her right now... :grouphug:

[woo me with science]

131. This was lovely.

I hope you let her read it. It is clear from what you wrote that you let her know what she means to you.

I wish you the best as you face this together.

[UrbScotty]

132. May God bless you and your family (if He exists)

:hug:

[lumberjack_jeff]

133. Very well said.

Shallowness may be epidemic in our society, but your post makes me realize that it isn't universal.

Good luck to you and your wife.

FWIW, my former neighbor was diagnosed several years ago and her quality of life is still very good. Don't cancel those travel plans yet.

[insane_cratic_gal]

135. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

some are shallow enough to buy into the idea of beauty being a product, a beer, a car, a pair of shoes.

FOr others it's those we cherish the most who make us feel beautiful and loved.

Here is to both of you! :toast:

I hope your journey is not only rewarding one, but a blessed one.

[Seabiscuit]

136. If the whole world were like you and your wife there would be no war and

no want. God bless you both in your journey together.

[Brigid]

137. If there were more men like you . . .

I would have gotten married long ago. Parkinson's disease or not, your wife is one seriously lucky woman -- and a beautiful person besides. I will be praying for you both.

[debbierlus]

139. I am crying....Oh, god. All my best wishes and prayers.

Bless you and your wife.

[WillyT]

147. What Debbierlus Said...

Beautiful post. I'm cryin here.

[Vinca]

140. You've brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful tribute to your wife. nt

[roguevalley]

141. I hug you both in my heart. Don't despair. They are working hard

for a cure. I pray for all who suffer that they find something for you.

RV, whose dad just beat lymphoma and therefore knows miracles happen.

[hippywife]

142. Many blessing on you and your wife, Straight.

You both have something the plastic people will never have and that can't be taken away by anyone or anything.

Altho I can't talk clinically about the disease, I work in a place where I have seen the progression of Parkinson's up close. I pray that her progression is slow and gives her all the time she wants to see your daughter grow. I also pray that the breakthroughs in fighting this disease come in time for her.

Much love to you both.

[The Doctor.]

143. When she gets home from working very late tonight....

I am going to hug my wife like she is the last vestige of life itself that I can cling to and breathe in.
I am in awe of the strength you possess to keep it together, and even moreso of hers.

May you both be deeply blessed,

Thank you.

[RagingInMiami]

144. You're a good man

May your family get through this with as little pain and turmoil possible.

[TayTay]

145. My prayers are with you.

And I bet your wife goes to sleep tonight with a prayer that begins, "Lord if I have to go through this trial, thank you for sending me such a good man to help guide me through it."

You sir, are a treasure yourself.

[coffeenap]

146. Here is an encouraging post re : PD study

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=222x7901

[MaryBear]

152. A huge study on Co-Q10 is in the making.

From one Parkie to another, please give your wife my screen name and have her PM me. I will send her my email address. That said, here is what you need to do if you have not done so already.

She needs to be seen and treated by an MD who is a Neurologist and also a Movement Disorders Specialist who focuses on PD. That's a lot, I know, but PD is a complicated disease and she needs a treatment provider who is on the front lines and can get her into studies. My MDS (movement disorders specialist) recommends I wait for Co-Q10. A friend has been advised against it. You need a top doc.

And you need health insurance. Parkinson's Meds are very expensive. You will need a job that automatically covers her and her illness with health insurance.

Read "Lucky Man," by Michael J. Fox. "Saving Millie," by Mort Kondrake is good but is a worst case scenario.

Go with her to PD Support Groups. Find one for Young Onset PD'ers.

Check out ClinicalTrials.gov.

She needs to walk, walk, walk. Yoga. Massage. Meditate. Pray. Weight Lifting strength building for people with PD. All through classes so she does not hurt herself. Exercise is the best thing she can do. She needs to focus on maintaining a straight spine. PD won't kill her. Pneumonia will. She needs to be able to sit up straight and cough.

Avoid stress.

Have her contact me. I would be happy to be a resource/support for her.

My motto is, "never give up," and "just keep on keeping on."

What seems like disaster will give your life a new focus, and can be a blessing if you let it. Her dreams are not over, now they are just different.

-MB

[DIKB]

148. Wow

Well said. The world would be far better off with more people like you and your wife.

[bdamomma]

149. We are here for support and a listening ear.

[blue neen]

150. That is an absolutely beautiful tribute and post.

No disease can take away your wife's soul.

I have been dealing with early onset Parkinson's Disease with my mom. There are options available now that we didn't have before.

In February she had surgery to insert a Deep Brain Stimulator. This delivers an electrical stimulus to the part of the brain that has been affected by Parkinson's. It works to help control the tremors. My mom has definitely seen a change. It will take several months to get it adjusted to where it needs to be. It's basically a pace maker for the brain, rather than the heart.

If you google DBS, or Deep Brain Stimulation, you will find tons of information on this. The surgery itself is reversible, in case a complete cure happens to come along. The surgery has only been done in the United States for a few years. They are actually using it now for other movement disorders like MS.

Please accept my best wishes for the best of times to you and your family.

[emdee]

151. I am glad that you have each other.

The love you've shown here will help her more than anything else.
Hugs and prayers for your family.
emdee

[BrklynLiberal]

153. Thread about CoQ10 and Parkinsons

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=222&topic_id=7901&mesg_id=7901

[Greylyn58]

154. Your wife is very lucky to have someone like you

You remind me of my Dad and how he treats and feels about my Mom.

Mom has suffered some health problems in her later years. Most notibly seizures--not techinically epileptic, but similar. They are extremely scary when she has one. Luckily she has medicine that controls them so they have been few and far between. In 1999 during a routine breast exam she found a lump which turned out to be cancerous. Thankfully it was caught early and removed and she has been cancer-free since 2000. Thank God! She has other minor health issues, but my Dad had never wavered in his love for her.

This August they will be celebrating their 50th Anniversary. :)

I hope you and your wife have many years of happiness together. And you never know...if we're lucky, a cure for Parkinson's may be found to help all those who suffer from it.

[CornField]

155. ..

Here's the truth about life -- well, at least the truth as I've found it -- "There will never be enough."

You see, I've attended many empty arms meetings (for parents who have had children die) and there is one thing, above all else, which you cannot miss. Some of the parents lost children who were teenagers... others children... others toddlers... others infants... others had stillborns. Whether we had 9 minutes, 9 months, 9 years or 99 years with the people we love, it isn't enough.

Just as 8 years has not been enough for you and your wife, 10 years won't be enough either or 12 or 20 -- so don't ever stop appreciating the moment or fighting for more.

Finally, my father had Parkinson's. There are some truly amazing things which can be done to ease the symptoms and help those afflicted. Help her keep her head in the right place and both of you search out the things which work best for you.

All love and light to you both.

[VOX]

156. There's poetry in your heart, TSS, and you are wealthy beyond imagination.

It's obvious that you completely comprehend what a **gift** your wife is. Love has no limits, and it'll take you places that you never expected to go. Be as strong as you can for her, but don't hold back if you need to reach out yourself.

Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers. You and your wife are so blessed to have each other. Each day can be an eternity -- in a good way!

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

157. *hugs for you and your family*

[Jack_Dawson]

158. I'm really sorry

I know that's a tough one - be thankful you have each other. :hug:

[IChing]

159. I can not express my sympathy enough in words..hang in there

[KittyWampus]

160. you and she are lucky to have one another and love to the three of you

[Maru Kitteh]

161. God bless and keep your family - It's going to be challenging but it's

not the end of living. Mourn together and then look ahead counting your blessings. We'll keep you in our prayers tonight.

[Eurobabe]

162. Any way we can help you?

Do you need anything to make your journey to California?

[The Straight Story]

163. A job there would help :)

I have a good one here, but nothing out there lined up yet. Hard to leave a good job with benefits for the unknown.

[SammyWinstonJack]

164. !

:hug:

[DIKB]

165. Giving

this story a kick for mother's day. :bounce: