meatloaf
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Tue Jun-06-06 01:16 PM
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Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers.
One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her.
So here's where I need your advice. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
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(1000+ posts)
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Tue Jun-06-06 01:19 PM
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1. Republicans - lies and liars are the new kind of truth |
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You can't get into heaven unless you have done your dardn'st to screw other people over to be on top, and keep all your lies well under the carpet.
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Minnesota Libra
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Tue Jun-06-06 01:21 PM
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2. This gets posted at DU periodically - but it's still funny. nt |
AndyA
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Tue Jun-06-06 01:22 PM
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3. Dear Worried About My Reputation, |
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Your family sounds wonderful compared to The Bush Crime Family™!
Just to make sure you start off on the right foot, you probably should tell her about your cousin who voted for Bush. Even though it's a disgusting fact that your family no doubt would prefer remain a secret, you must let her know what she is in for. If she leaves, you're better off knowing now as opposed to finding out later.
You deserve a commendation for dealing so well with the stigma of having a Bush supporter in the family!
Abby
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DU
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Tue May 07th 2024, 12:34 AM
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