Would it help if we all got divorced?

[demgurl]

Disclaimer: I know this may come across as being fantastical or sarcastioc but I am not trying to be either.

I am sick that so many people in our society have no right to marry someone they wish to make a life long commitment with. What would happen if heterosexuals were told that we could not marry each other and we were made out to be second class citizens?

Last night I had along talk with my husband. I told him I do not feel like I should even wear my wedding ring and that perhaps I should just put it on a chain, around my neck, until gays are allowed to marry.

That is all fine and good except that the government will not care that I refuse to wear my ring. They will not even notice. No, this needed to be something that everyone would pay attention to. This needed to be something big.

I love my husband and I feel he is my soul mate. I do not wish to divorce him but there are a lot of people who do not wish to remain single but are forced to do so. I am not sure if people would be interested but I was thinking about the news it would create if all of a sudden marriage shot up 1000% all at once. I would rather stand by my fellow citizens, who happen to be gay, than to be married and let this kind of hate go on.

Love is so hard to find in this life and who is our government to say that two people may not declare their love legally? These are people who have put up with so much hate but are still together and have an even more solid foundation for it.

I know this sounds extreme but could it work if enough of us did it? Someone would have to sit up and take notice of the numbers. Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. The government does not seem to listen to us so perhaps the statistics would speak for us and news reports would be done about these actions. We have to do something to get their attention and express our outrage. They do not listen to marches and protests.

Would this work?

[BrklynLiberal]

1. Well, I already am, so it's OK with me.

[redwitch]

2. two thirds of all marriages already end in divorce

Not sure anyone would notice except you. The legal/financial/medical problems would preclude my taking part. Not practical but I get where your heart is.

[KyndCulture]

3. I'm divorced twice.

I lend somebody one of mine.

[panader0]

4. Hey, I got divorced three times and it helped every time

While that is true, it points out the fact that marriage between heteros doesn't always work either. It's not the institution, it's the people involved. It shouldn't ever have been an issue. And smirky is about to go though a divorce too, if you believe the gossip rags in the checkout line.

[WillyT]

5. I'm Not Gettin Married Until Every Gay In America Is Married !!!

Does that help?

sorry... :silly:

[Swamp Rat]

6. How about a symbolic divorce from marriage itself?

Protest idea:

Couples can hold un-weddings in front of churches and divorce themselves from the institution of marriage.

It does not mean *at all* couples will be breaking up, separating etc., but places the onus on the church, which has not done enough to stop the bigotry within its ranks.

Even if some folks are not married, they can still find a friend and pretend to be married for the purposes of this protest.

People can brings signs with huge 'un-marriage' certificates. :D

[demgurl]

8. I like that idea a lot.

I wonder if we could get a movement started for that? I bet it would get some attention - especially if you did it at the start of Sunday service!!!!

[Swamp Rat]

9. See my post in GD

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1367928

[demgurl]

10. SwampRat.....

You are so creative and that is why I love your posts. I don't care who does not agree with your other post, at the very least I love your certificate. I want to be just like you when I finally get a handle on computer creativity. I have never posted this, but want to say how much I love your pix.

Keep up the great work.

[Swamp Rat]

12. Thanks

:hug: Need I say I often enjoy your posts? :loveya:

I was hoping for a few more responses to my thread, but maybe the night shift will see it and like it. :shrug:

Personally, I am not going to stand by and let bigots repress others, no matter their gender, race, ethnic background, religious affiliation, or sexual preference.

This is AMERICA! Land of the FREE!

:patriot:

About doing pix: I started out with crappy free programs that I had to use for different stages (one for text, one for color manipulation, etc.). Then I bought Photoshop Elements 3.0, a pared down version of the very expensive professional application. Elements has a lot of limitations, but it does allow me to do a lot... and it's under $100 bucks! :D

[demgurl]

15. I agree, it is wrong to let anyone be oppressed.

It would be a much better world if more people just lived and live.

Hubby is a big computer person so I may get him to start me on a few programs and then I can work my way up - never, of course to your status. :yourock: (they do not have a bowing down to greatness smilie!) But at least I can feel encouraged things that you do can be done, at some point, if I just keep at it.

Thank you for your kind words and I did k & r your other post.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

7. I admire your passion

about this issue. Would it work? I don't know. It is not something that I am personally willing to do. My marriage is the most important thing in my life and I am not altruistic enough to protest in this manner.

My hope is that time is going to take care of this issue. I see/hear changes almost daily. It is a huge adjustment for people to make. Just a generation ago we were taught by parents, churches, schools, doctors, the media, that homosexuality was perversion. That level of indoctrination doesn't go away over night.

I try and do my part as a teacher by encouraging respect for all people and I am all OVER them when they say something is "so gay."

I predict that 50 years from now people will look back on these days with the same wonder with which we view pictures of drinking fountains labeled "white" and "colored."

But I know if you want to be married and you cannot, it is very hurtful to be caught in a time warp.

[NNadir]

11. Sorry. I am not going to react to the freak G.W. Bush by messing with

the sanctity of my marriage.

It would be very easy to spin such resistence in twisted ways.

I support the right of any two adult people to love one another and commit through marriage. I am appalled that gay people do not share what I share. But my marriage is non-negotiable.

[demgurl]

16. My marriage is sacred to me as well.

My husband and I knew each other (and were best friends) for 13 years before we got involved with one another. This is the reason why it is so important for me to do something. We are only as strong as our weakest link and if they deny someone else the right to marry then I truly feel they cheapen my marriage. What entitles me to be lucky enough to be married while others, who are in love, are denied?

I can not help but wonder what divorce statistics are like in Canada. I wonder if a study has been done comparing gays to straights. Not that that would have any effect but I do not believe gays are hedonists who want to "infect" everyone with their gayness.

I value my marriage but how can we truly be happy if we do not do something to help others who can not marry? It would be selfish to give an attitude that we got ours and now they can go fend for themselves.

[NNadir]

18. Nobody is asking gays to "fend for themselves."

We all support the rights of people who love each other to bond legally and emotionally for life.

Because people are starving though, I do not go on hunger strikes.

I love gay people because they are people, and I resent bitterly that people everywhere, not just gay people, but all people, do not enjoy the rights and privileges with which I am blessed, but it seems to me that I cannot save the world by jumping headlong into schemes like this. I am not a sheep, I am a person, with children and with a wife to whom I have made a sacred private and personal vow. That vow is not political. It is special.

It seems to me that many gay people also have sacred, private and personal vows. These vows are extralegal and do not depend on government sanction. I lived with my wife before I married her. She was always special, and the marriage document only extended the matter to certain legal matters.

The issue of the urgency of the gay marriage issue is a contrivance of the Bushies to distract the world from the real issues, most of which are far more dire. Gay people have not had the right to marry for most of US history. I wish it were different, but changing that bit of unfortunate history immediately is not the most pressing issue before us. The attempt to define it as the most pressing issue does not issue from gay people themselves, but from the offices of George W. Bush. Fuck him.

I firmly regret that gay people are caught in the crossfire. If this abuse of human rights is not wrong then nothing is wrong. However, I will express my contempt for these restrictions in my own way, and my marriage is non-negotiable.

This amendment will go nowhere. I am not going to place my children and my wife at legal risk for a nonsensical Bush game.

[VelmaD]

17. I notice that it's alway any two people...

what about me and my two boyfriends and my girlfriend...why shouldn't I be able to have a committment to all of them if I wanted to?

[NNadir]

19. Whatever you like. It's not for me, but do whatever you like.

I think you should check in with Orin Hatch, although I think he only likes heterosexual polgamy. But at least he's part of the way there.

[VelmaD]

21. get your terms straight...

what some Mormons practice is polygyny...that's where men are allowed to have more than one wife but women are not allowed more than one husband.

In actual polygamy...everyone would be allowed to have multiple spouses regardless of gender.

[NNadir]

22. You're right. It seems as if Orin will need a little more persuading.

That wouldn't appeal to me, of course, polygyny, polyandry, polygamy.

I'm a monogamist. I hope there's no movement to make that illegal.

[ldf]

13. i think that the best solution would be

if all our supportive heterosexual friends who were in relationships with the possible or probable intent to marry, would publicly say NO, WE WILL NOT MARRY UNTIL ALL AMERICANS HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARRY, it would work.

starting with celebrities, then political people, then average americans taking a stand. list everyone. make it cool to be on the list. repeat their pledge at every opportunity. make sure everyone they know, KNOWS why they are not setting a date yet.

it could actually become a liberal movement. a backlash, even.

but, talk is cheap, and few would ever be willing to walk the walk.

:shrug:

it's not like we gays will ever have the power ourselves to change it. after all, it takes a village, people! :-)

[titoresque]

14. Yes it would help!

I think. Any tax accountants in the house? I know personally that the only benefit I can see by not being allowed to marry my partner is that we do not have to combine incomes. If you divorced and have children one partner could claim them and get a bigger return every year on the money the government missuses! Am I right?

This could hurt the greedy fuckers where it counts! Right in their pockets!

I think. :shrug:

[seabeyond]

20. i want civil union now. and i want to drop my marriage and get a

civil union. and nationwide protestors get civil unions. and then the foundation of marriage erodes, like the findues are so fearful of. give them what they want

[pauliedangerously]

23. That's a beautiful idea, but I wouldn't do it if you're happy with him

I'm already divorced twice and I think marriage is an overrated institution. I'm not having any kids either. I think that this whole gay marriage issue is a big crock of dumbshit for the genpop to dip their Fritos in.

Marriage is SECULAR. It's a legal binding contract. My wives and I arrived at mutually agreeable terms in our divorces and we totally respect each other. We had a blast, we grew together, and we moved on to what we thought were better respective futures.

If you or anyone else who reads this has a happy marriage, STAY MARRIED.