BREAKING: Bin Laden memo intercepted!

[burythehatchet]

MEMO

Date: June 28, 2006
From: OBL
TO: Al Q field staff

RE: Checking Accounts


Gentlemen. I hope this memorandum finds you all in good spirits. It has been several months since our last terror training seminar and I apologize for not sending out hard copies of my powerpoint. By the way, Ahmed, your presentation on "Beheadings in the 21st Century" was truly great. We look forward to your next offering at our semi-annual management retreat in Cabo San Luca (Bring the sunscreen and leave the wives in the caves!!).

The purpose of this memo is to advise you all to turn in your debit cards to Lois at the home office. I just read my copy of the NY Times (Praise Allah for their support of our terror enterprise) and apparently George Bush has outsmarted us once again. We thought we had outsmarted the infidels and developed a foolproof way to transfer money to fund our terror activities but alas, I must ask that you tear up the checks you have all been given. By copy of this memo I will express my appreciation for Bill Keller for his good work in tipping us off. In order to fund your operations, we will now be using "Esternwa Nionua".

Remember to get your '07 budgets in to Ayman Al Z. by the end of the quarter, I don't want him on my back.

CC: Ayman Al Z.
Porter Goss
Lois

[Just Me]

1. I don't know you!!!

:rofl:

You'se so bad!!! :spank:

[burythehatchet]

3. I'm checking on the authenticity

but its pretty well been confirmed...

[mom cat]

32. This is SO not his style of writing. Its a spoof!

[bleever]

36. LOL.

Thanks for the post.

[Dan P]

34. Great Memo

It'd be great if some dumb repug (is there any other kind?) could be duped into thinking it's real - like how the Delay morons posted Colbert's piece.

=================================
I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.
~James Madison

[Just Me]

41. Welcome!

:hi:

Your James Madison quote is impactful,...and for real.

[eleny]

2. K&R baby!

[BrklynLiberal]

4. I wonder if the NYTimes will print THIS memo??!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Junkdrawer]

5. K&R Best laugh of the week....

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[LaPera]

6. Nothing is too much for BushCo to back up their spying bullshit!

Enough people will believe anything and that's why they would even believe this joke! Pound the fear in enough times and you come up with docile sheep, gentle as lambs...nice & passive, just the way the fascist want all of us...we'll believe and do anything they tell us...just keep us safe Mr president...steal as much money as you can we don't care, invade our privacy we don't care...just keep us from a terrorist in my suburban backyard, when I'm having a BBQ and the kids are swimming...

[smokey nj]

7. LOL..........

:rofl:


Did they get the casual Friday memo?

[Critters2]

8. "Lois at the home office..."

:spray: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[spindrifter]

9. Aw come on--OBL put that memo out two years ago!

Someone must be re-circulating the old memos again.

[Exultant Democracy]

30. lol

[NanceGreggs]

10. Oh.My. God.

This is truly BRILLIANT!!!!!

K'd & R'd!!!

[MrSlayer]

11. I love the CC to Porter Goss.

Excellent.

[oasis]

12. Tee hee.

:bounce:

[Junkdrawer]

13. .

[Guaranteed]

14. NIIIICE!

You got it. :)

[survivor999]

15. Is this real?

:)

[Poiuyt]

16. You've got to send that in to the Times!

[Atman]

17. I think this is a set-up to make us look bad.

:evilgrin:

But I rec'd it anyway.

[Lifelong Protester]

18. Get your 07 budgets in....

LMAO here! This is hilarious....

Great work.:rofl:

[Maven]

19. OMG

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

cc: Lois

LOL

K/R

[Canuckistanian]

20. "Lois at the home office" LOL!

I used to work with her during the GHWB regime....

Strange glasses, but what an expert on Jihad!

[burythehatchet]

22. to think she started in the mail room

wish she wouldn't be such a fridge nazi.

[fishwax]

21. very nice

:rofl::rofl:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

23. "leave the wives in the caves!!"

}( great stuff!

[a la izquierda]

24. you've gotta put a warning on this!!!

i almost spit my coffee all over my keyboard!

[coffeenap]

25. Best laugh in a long time!! K & R! nt

[SmokingJacket]

26. More kicks!

:rofl:

[lonestarnot]

27. OMG

:rofl:

[myrna minx]

28. Hahaha!

Thanks for the big laugh. I really needed that. :applause:

[Hugin]

29. It's always a wonder to hear from Osama Been Popsicle.

[robbedvoter]

31. Porter Goss? Are they behind in their personnel roll call?

[Chichiri]

33. What is Esternwa Nionua? n/t

[leveymg]

35. We Infidels know it as "Western Union"

[Julius Civitatus]

37. Wonder if any wingnuts would think this is actually true

They've done it before. They are sarcasm-impaired, and irony-deficient. Even Tom Delay thought Colbert was a real right-wing blowhard.

I bet some idiots are passing this around as "proof" against the NY Times.

[burythehatchet]

38. I'd retire...my life's work completed.

[mtnester]

39. Follow up memo:

Subject: Follow up memo:
Message:
MEMO

Dated: June 29, 2006
From: OBL
TO: Al Q field staff

RE: Possible new source of funds - INVESTIGATE PROMPTLY

I hope this memorandum again finds you all in good spirits. The following information has been forwarded to me as a possible source of revenue for our organization. I encourage you all to research this information, and, if possible, set about acquiring these funds. It appears that this was a story on multiple pages of the USA Today newspaper, and Good Morning America...as well as being verified by no less than TWO American attorney at law, so I believe it may be an excellent avenue for us. Here is the information as I know it:

Kathy South Alcoa - EHS Maintenance Coordinator Phone: 765/771 - 3547 Pager : 765/420 - 6575

To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from my good friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney.

If she says that this will work - It will work. After all, What have you got to lose? SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I'm an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.

Bill Gates, partnering up with AOL (America Online) intends to share their respective fortunes with anyone willing to take the time to follow simple instructions instructions. If you ignore this, You will repent later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it ( If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.

For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.

Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations
1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX
292-1085 [e-mail] [e-mail]

I thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and withindays, I receive a check for $24,800.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can affoard this, Bill gates is the man.

It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00. We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped "Paid in full"

Like i said before, I know the law, and this is for real.

Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the most widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period

I would urge you all to use some caution, particularly with the warning listed in the final paragraph. But I feel this could raise MILLIONS of dollars for our cause, in a very short period of time. Kind of like a "hit and run" if you will.

I look forward to hearing from you all on your successes in this matter! Be careful out there among the English!

OBL

BCC: APJ Abdul Kalam - thought you might find this interesting, perhaps you would consider renegotiating your contract with Microsoft? Just saying...

[IndependentVoice]

40. lmao

looks like something i would see on the Colbert Report

[rpannier]

42. Hysterical

Thanks so much.

[noops]

43. Ummm....

Mohammed, yeeeeah, listen i'm going to need you to come in on Saturday too. mmmk? Thanks.

[noops]

44. Post Script

I know him! I know him!

[Hugin]

45. Osama has my stapler!

Damnit!

[noops]

46. was it

a camo swingline dirka dirka model?

[Hugin]

47. You've seen my stapler?!?!

I knew he took it!

[noops]

48. funny thing is

If they move you to the cave cubicle you might have to burn the place down.

[Up2Late]

49. This Just In! One Osama bin Laden "expert" has just confirmed that...

...this memo "most definitely" could be from Osama bin Laden!

Btw, the rest of the us OBL "expert" community thinks Salam is a complete nut, who they wouldn't trust to feed their Dogs while they vacation in Florida with Jeb.

CNN has not been able to independently confirm the authenticity this memo, but there is that ONE guy.

BTW :sarcasm: