Advance Analysis of Gore's Historic Speech!

[Atman]

(RUSH TRANSCRIPT)


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KYRA PHILLIPS (joined in progress): And so the family of puppies made it safely home, after being rescued by the blind girl scouts. Awww. Now, over in the Situation Room, where Wolfe Blitzer is covering some speech criticizing George Bush for Protecting Your Security™ (cue fx). Wolfe...

WOLFE BLITZER: Thank you Kyra Phillips in Washington, this is Wolfe Blitzer in The Situation Room. I'm here with one of the most brilliant minds in modern politics, Ed Gillespie, and we're taking a completely unbiased look at Al Gore, currently ranting on for over twenty minutes. Ed, tell us something about Al Gore, and why it is the defeated Vice President, the right-hand-man to the impeached and disgraced Bill Clinton, should be taken seriously?

ED GILLESPIE: Sorry Wolfe, no can do. Fact is, Al Gore can't be taken seriously. He's a joke. For instance, look at this tape from Saturday Night Live...they really skewer Al Gore here, so obviously he's a big joke. Still, I sense some leftist outliers will pine for Mr. Gore's brand of wooden, monotonous oratory, but most of America is filled will real, honest, hard working folks who recognize that President Bush is a brilliant leader, protecting them from enemies which lurk everywhere. Where has Mr. Gore been? Home writing this speech, I bet. Bush never wasted time writing his own speeches...

WOLF BLITZER: This sounds important, Ed, Al's getting all hot and bothered. Let's listen in...

(CUT TO AL GORE): THANK YOU VERY MUCH!


ED GILLESPIE: You see, Wolfe, the democrats are running away from the issue important to real Patriotic™ Americans; being protected from all the evil bad guys out to kill them and their children.

WOLD BLITZER: Well there you have it, straight from a very impassioned, honest spokesman for the republican party, Mr. Ed Gillespie. Back to you Kyra...how are those girls scouts doing?

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[Roland99]

1. Eerily true...gives me goosebumps.

;)

[Justsayin]

2. Makes me want to cry

[tulsakatz]

3. anyone who thinks Bush is brilliant......

....needs to have their head examined!!

In other words, he should be under serious psychiatric care.

I think I'd rather not rely on his opinion for anything.

[Jackpine Radical]

8. PSYCHIATRIC care, maybe--ust as long as you don't wish him

on us psychologists.

Remember too that antipsychotic meds don't actually eliminate the delusions. They just weaken the intensity.

[tulsakatz]

9. oh, wow!!

I never knew that before!!

Actually I was thinking that some psychiatric therapy could help him to see that he really has no idea what he's talking about if he thinks Bush is brilliant!

I can only assume that this guy has not known many intellectuals or brilliant people, on whom he could base such an opinion.

[leeroysphitz]

4. Excellent satire! Thanks n/t

[robbedvoter]

5. Too true to be funny ...I mean, funny, but in a tragic way...

[joanski0]

6. Are you telling me that Wolfie or Ed

didn't call him "Crazy Al"? That was nice of them.

[JeffR]

7. Kicked and nominated

:kick: