GODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT

[helderheid]

I posted before (can't find it) that one of my friends from a local mom list is separating from her husband because he has been violent since returning from Iraq. She just found out (and has proof) that since he's been back, he's been molesting their youngest daughter.

I FUCKING HATE THIS WAR

EDITED TO ADD I posted this in a fit of rage. This issue is personal to me. I know this family. I wasn't thinking when I posted this - I was raging. I cannot thank you all enough for the advice - I will pass it on to her.

[eleny]

1. aw jeez

:grouphug:

[OwnedByFerrets]

2. I feel your anger and wish

there is something I could say that would help....unfortunately, there is not :-(

[DistressedAmerican]

3. Sorry to Hear That.

For all involved. this tragedy has to come to an end. We will be dealing with the pshchological blowbak fro years to come.

[readmoreoften]

4. What a great nation we'll have in 10 years.

That is horrible. I'm sorry for that little girl.

[OzarkDem]

5. Jesus, sorry for your friend

What the hell has been going on over there? Are the soldiers over there dealing with stress by looking at a lot of really sick porn online or what?

I hope your friend and her daughter get into a shelter ASAP.

[helderheid]

7. She said she scared the hell out of him and he won't be around for

awhile - she's moving (with her children). Fortunately she is financially in a position to be okay for a few years. I'm just so fucking angry about this having gone through it myself.

[bdamomma]

41. they have lost all morality

[SoCalDem]

6. It sucks, but don't blame it entirely on the war

She's lucky to have found out as soon as she did.. Abuse usually continues for a long time until the child gets the courage to speak up..

I hope she gets help for herself and the little girl :hug:

[helderheid]

9. you're right, I don't blame it entirely on this war but it's obvious to me

(knowing this family) that whatever happened over there led him to completely snap. He had it in him to begin with or it wouldn't have happened but I feel this war pushed him over the edge.

[Mojambo]

8. Why do I have the feeling that we are entering a dark, dark era here?

One that will make what we've gone through in the last 6 years look positively bright by comparison.

[RagAss]

27. correct...we are still at the top of the sliding board.....

the horror is yet to come....it will boggle the fucking mind.

[Tesha]

37. That would be because...

> Why do I have the feeling that we are entering a dark, dark era here?

That would be because the Republicans stock-in-trade to
con the poorer, less-intelligent classes was to promote:

o Ignorance. The biggy. All the rest depend on this.

o Hatred of "the other". They made it okay to hate
brown people, gays, Jews, intellectuals, atheists,
women, basically anyone who doesn't fit a certain
oddly-Aryan stereotype.

o Violence as the best means to each end. If you don't
like what another country is doing, blow the shit out
of them. If you're threatened at night, take your gun
from under your pillow and shoot the troublemaker.

o Fear. Fear of terrorists. Fear of gays storming the
bastions of your marriage and making you submit to
illicit pleasures. For that matter, fear of sexual
pleasure in its entirety! Fear that an amoral atheist
will corrupt your kids. Fear of vaccines. Fear of
everything that isn't Wonderbread. Fear of Yurp and
those weird Yurpeans and their French Fries. Fear of
big black guys skulking around big dark cities. Fear
of fear! Fear of everything!

o Superstition and credulity. Of course Osama bin
Laden personally brought down the Twin Towers from
his lair in Iraq. Of course that Wiccan down the
street is going to kidnap your children, disembowel
them, and use their genitals in a satanic ritual.
Of course the rapture is coming, so no need to care
for the Earth; we're cone with it Real Soon Now.
Of course Bush was annointed by Dog as our leader!

o America, right or wrong, but we're always right.
If we decide that we should drop the big one now,
we'll be dropping it with Dog on our side, you can
bet your ass! And if we say they had WMD before we
use our WMDs on them, well, it's true because we're
American and we're always right.

All of this has set up American society for all
the worst things you've ever seen in Mad Max movies
and then some. We'll all be lucky merely to live
through it, but there's a large chance we'd all
prefer to be dead.

Tesha

[Jackpine Radical]

10. While I share your opinion of the war,

I doubt that the war was in itself responsible for the child molestation. Yes, the stress of war may have precipitated the actual events, but there was almost certainly a predisposition from his childhood. In fact, in almost every case I know of, perpetrators have histories of having first been victims themselves. I say this coming from a forensic psych background, having done psych evals of maybe 1500 criminal offenders, maybe 20-25% of them sex offenders. Most people in the field know this, although the academic types typically do not.

[helderheid]

16. see post 9 - I agree

[Jackpine Radical]

38. I guess I was one of a bunch of people all writing more or less

the same thing at the same time. Happens a lot around here.

It is of course important to get the child to a competent psychotherapist.

[Swamp Rat]

11. .

:hug:

[lonestarnot]

12. Man oh man... Does she have a gun?

[AngryOldDem]

13. Man....I'm sorry.

I don't think there is anything else to say, other than that I hope everyone involved gets the help they need and that they heal...but even those words sound inadequate.

I am so sorry to hear this.

[populistdriven]

14. get that girl some help, now!

:hug:

[stevedeshazer]

15. *sigh*

So sorry to hear....

[roamer65]

17. This country has a very bleak future

if any at all.

[The_Casual_Observer]

21. The future is now.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

18. Has she...

Approached anyone from his unit, like the family affairs officer?

There are supports for families.

[helderheid]

19. she contacted the police and they said they couldn't remove him from

the house (WTF???) - others have suggested just what you did to her so hopefully they will get him out and forced counseling.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

20. She needs to...

Call the state child protective agency and the prosecutor's office in the AM. There are resources out there for her, if she has been battered, the child and him.

But to just not do a thing but run would only put off his next, and escalated, event.

[helderheid]

22. I will pass this on to her. I know her pretty well - we worked together on

the Kucinich for President campaign. She's an extremely smart take no shit from no one kind of woman with a great support base (myself included). We'll take care of her and I thank you for this info.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

23. Look. The sad fact is...

That if he is doing this, he is spinning out of control. Frankly, the first stop should be to some form of abused women's service. They will know how to proceed from there.

I get the sense she still has feelings for him and does not want to destroy his life. Hitting the prosecutor's office, straight away, might not be the best idea. Best to wait on that.

[helderheid]

24. I won't repost her email but that isn't the case. She is mad as hell.

She'll bobbit him if the law won't help. At least that is the level of rage i got from her.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

26. Ohhh...

Well, I don't pretend to know the dynamics of the relationship or what has gone before. I just wanted to give you a few options.

If she wants to go full nuclear, she should call the prosecutors, although the abused women's service there with her, as advocates, will be a huge help.

[helderheid]

29. just passed it on. Thanks so much

[uppityperson]

31. that is good advice, they should be able to help

after all, they deal with this sort of stuff, we are entering another dark time when these young people return and have to figure out how to deal with all the chaotic nasty anxiety ridden war stuff.

[Redstone]

25. She can find a shelter. They'll protect her and her daughter.

I know people who run those shelters. She can trust them.

Redstone

[Stardust]

28. Not to diminish the tragedy here but...

I can't count how many girls I've known who were molested by their fathers and stepfathers. Almost ALL of the stepfathers, in fact. I can't read an account of the soldiers returning from the war (WWII)... without mentally adding "...to rape their daughters." If I sound bitter, it's only becuz I am. I deeply apologize to the ones who didn't. Really. War sux. It does bad things to all involved.

[uppityperson]

30. damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn

and condolences. fucking hate this war too

[roguevalley]

32. I am so sorry. I hope she moves to safer ground. I hope her baby

is safe now. God bless them.

[Rainscents]

33. I'm so sorry for your friend this happened.

She need to get the hell from him ASAP! Be there for her, she need now more then ever!

[Hissyspit]

34. I'm so sorry to hear that, helderheid.

[RebelOne]

35. The company I work for fired an employee a couple of months ago

because he was becoming violent and threatening to shoot some other employees. He had just returned from Iraq not long before he started working here.

[LostinVA]

36. Combat didn't cause him to molest his daughter

The violent part, very possibly. The molesting? No. He's a sick sociopath. He has a pathological personality disorder. Combat does not cause that.

[helderheid]

40. see post 9 - I agree

[earth mom]

39. So sorry for your friend and her daughter.

:cry:

[MeandYou123]

42. I feel your anger as well

I too am frustrated