You might be a Bush supporter if...

[Rocknrule]

you masturbate to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Saving Private Ryan
you think the Holy Trinity is Hitler, Stalin, and Bush
you think McVeigh was a patriot but the guys who arsoned the Vail restaurant were terrorists
you think 401K is your mom's bra size
you learned to put your underwear on yellow in front, brown in back
you think Moby Dick is a venereal disease
you've ever tried to say the Pledge of Allegiance but instead said "Heil Hitler!"
you misspell and mispronounce things like "nookyoular," "skeletins," "moran," and "hugh"
you think conservatives are persecuted because liberals want to prevent them from burning crosses, tying gays to fences and beating them to death, and suicide bombing downtown San Francisco

Contribute yours

[WI_DEM]

1. I think "Saving Private Ryan" is a great film, but luckily I don't

masturbate to it.

#5 is just icky.

[Ilsa]

2. "peninchula". 'nuff said. nt

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

3. Your uncle is your baby's daddy.

[TomClash]

4. You're a guy and you hate lesbians nt

[beyurslf]

5. A guy who hates lesbians but gets turned on by 2 chicks going at it

[TomClash]

15. Yup, that would be the point nt

[stepnw1f]

6. You Sell all Morality for one Issue

you get off on lying to people

[nam78_two]

7. heh not to nit-pick but #6 and #7

need spelling corrections or it kinda invalidates #8 ;)!

venereal and allegiance :)

I make typos all the time too and I don't think its a big deal but #8 necessitates the bestest spelling and grammer on this one :P!

[Rocknrule]

10. Changed!

[Rex]

8. you have a beer coosy around your drool cup.

you have a full gunrack, mounted inside your Ford kingcab.
you are an expert at line dancing.
you use the indoor plumbing outdoors.
you believe gravity is a liberal lie.
you learned in 9th grade that the Earth is shaped like a sphere and not a circle.

[Hubert Flottz]

9. You floss your tooth with a barge rope.

You looked up your family tree and a monkey shat in your face.

Your fingernails stay nasty from dragging in the dirt behind you where you walk.

You run out of piss before you get done washing your hands.

You still drag your mate by the feet instead of by the hair.

[nam78_two]

11. Oldie but goodie

You think global warming is junk science but intelligent design is sound

[racaulk]

12. If all you gave your daughter for Christmas was hickeys!

OK, that was a bad Jeff Foxworthy joke! :P

Here are a few better ones...

You're a party leader and claim to be a patriot, but can't sing the "Star Spangled Banner."
You think judges are activists when they make rulings based on law and not your bigoted point of view.
You think there's a "war on" everything.
You simultaneously chase after young boys while trying to get legislation passed to prevent two adults from marrying each other.

I could go on and on...

[Rocknrule]

13. You blame Clinton for everything from the crucifixion to 9/11

can't believe I forgot that one

[LibDemAlways]

14. Your idea of "supporting the troops" is the yellow

ribbon magnet you swiped off somebody else's SUV and stuck on your own.

You cheat on your spouse routinely but vote R because of your concern for "family values."

The only time your conversation isn't peppered with racist, sexist, and homophobic slurs is during the hour you spend in church each Sunday.

You don't want to spring for a Halloween costume, so you just wear the KKK garb already hanging in your closet.