Bachmann (R-Of Course): George Bush is an "awesome date...he's so buff"

[Bjorn Against]

If we were to do a psychological analysis of every single Republican Congressional candidate across the country, it is very likely that Michelle Bachmann would come out as the most insane of the entire bunch. A recent article in the City Pages, an independent weekly newspaper out of Minneapolis contains some very interesting Bachmann quotes.

While most people outside of Minnesota probably don't know Michelle Bachmann, those of us who pay attention to Minnesota politics know her far too well. Here is an example of the type of issues that she considers to be of serious concern.

School officials would not allow the Disney movie Aladdin to be shown because it involved magic and supposedly taught paganism.

Yes, Michelle Bachmann was the most influential one of these school officials who believed that watching Aladdin would cause children to turn to paganism. How many of you caught your children brewing up potions in the basement after watching Aladdin?

Because Bachmann fights such crucial issues as protecting the children from Aladdin she is able to downplay much less important issues:

"In Minnesota, we have only 3.6 percent unemployment. We are the workingest state in the nation. We have more two-income families than any state in the nation. We have more women in the work force than any state in the nation. We have more people working two or three jobs than anywhere else." She concluded that "minimum wage in this state is not a big issue."

So because we have more people working two or three jobs than anywhere else, it must obviously follow that the people working those two or three jobs do not feel that the minimum wage is a big issue. After all who needs better wages, when you can simply put in 100 hours a week in order to survive. Bachmann puts it a lot better than I ever could though so let's simply listen to her words of wisdom:

"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level,"

Bachmann is right, if we just legalized slavery we could be sure everyone would be employed! What a great moral position that is. She spends a lot of time talking about family values and the messages of the Bible, and I am sure Jesus would agree with her that if we forced people to work for nothing while giving massive tax breaks to the rich we would really be doing God's work. And Jesus would not only be all over Bachmann's economic vision, I am sure he would love her foreign policy as well:

May 3, 2006 Bachmann tells Minnesota Public Radio that the United States has to be "very aggressive" dealing with Iran, adding that "We can't remove any option off the table and we should not remove the nuclear response."

What a great Christian Bachmann is, screw diplomacy just drop the bomb and kill them all. That's the pro-life position!

OK, so Bachmann's positions may be a little bit nutty, but at least we can look at her personal life and know that because she is a person that preaches sexual morality to the rest of us, she could not possibly have sexual thoughts for anyone aside from her husband:

August 30, 2006 The congressional candidate weighs in on the visit from President Bush with Jason Lewis on KTLK-FM (100.3). First she notes that Dubya is an "awesome date," before adding, "He's so buff. He's like you, Jason, he has 1 percent body fat."

Alright I've had enough, I have to go :puke: :puke: :puke:

At least Bachmann says some things we can all agree on though:

"I don't think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge and wisdom and understanding. So, I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I'm not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I'm not a scientist."

I must say I agree with Bachmann here, but I do have to wonder why she is so insistent on teaching Creationism in science classes if she is lacking so much knowledge in science.

I guess the bottom line is if you have sexual desires for George Bush, and have kids who turn to Paganism after watching Aladdin, and you think we should go to nuclear war, legalize slavery, and have people who admit they know nothing about science pushing the curriculum for science classes then by all means support Michelle Bachmann.

If however you would prefer a more sane candidate, Patty Wetterling is very close in the polls and has a great chance of winning. She may appreciate a donation.

[KingFlorez]

1. This woman is insane

Patty Wetterling needs to win, nuts like Bachmann don't belong in Congress

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Michelle Bachmann is Minnesota's Katherine Harris.

Athough she doesn't have Harris' plastic pals Moxie and Spunk... :evilgrin:

[ComerPerro]

3. You had me at "she wants to ban Aladdin"