Just for fun: Resting in peace and prosperity

[flowomo]

This is my weekly newspaper column, published every Thursday.
MODS: I have reprint permissions; I wrote the column

also available online at:
http://cumberlink.com/articles/2006/11/02/editorial/rich_lewis/lewis01.txt


Resting in peace and prosperity
By Rich Lewis, November 2, 2006

A charming contingent of ghouls and goblins showed up at our door Tuesday night on their annual Halloween excursion.

But all these ghostly troopers got for their night’s work were bags full of Butterfingers and Baby Ruths — which, I am sure, was a completely satisfying haul for them, but nothing like the riches amassed this year by another group from the Other Side.

Last week, Forbes Magazine released its annual list of “Top Earning Dead Celebrities” — that is, pop icons who have shuffled off this mortal coil but whose estates “continue to make money by inking deals involving both their work and the rights to use their name and likenesses on merchandise and marketing campaigns.”

The big news is that The King is dead.

Well, of course, everybody on this particular list is dead — that’s the whole point.

But The King — in this case, Elvis Presley — is doubly dead, because for the first time since Forbes began compiling the list in 2001, Elvis is not number one.

Nope, the new champion of Grabbers-from-the-Grave is former rock star Kurt Cobain, frontman for the group Nirvana, who shot himself in 1994.

Cobain’s estate racked up $50 million between this October and last October, jumping ahead of Elvis, who took in $42 million — still good enough for second place.

Cobain is not only champion, but rookie of the year as well, because he’s never appeared on the list before.

The only other person appearing this year for the first time — from another part of the cemetery altogether — is Albert Einstein. And before you jump to the conclusion that his “Theory of Relativity” means leaving tons of money to your relatives after you die, be advised that the rights to Einsteiniana, which this year brought in $20 million, are held by the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

The rest of the list is made up of repeaters. They are Charles M. Schulz (3) and John Lennon (4), and, 6 through 13, Andy Warhol, Dr. Seuss (Ted Geisel), Ray Charles, Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Cash, J.R.R. Tolkien, George Harrison and Bob Marley.

Forbes cuts the list off at 13 this year. I guess it thinks that’s a “spooky” number and thus appropriate for this annual Halloween compilation.

To make room for newcomers Cobain and Einstein, 2005’s number six, Marlon Brando, slipped back into the shadows, as did last year’s number 11, Irving Berlin. I guess fewer people felt like we needed new recordings of “White Christmas” last year.

But I don’t know what to think about Cobain landing on top.

First of all, if I know my Sentinel readership, a lot of you have probably never heard of this guy — and would have been decidedly unhappy to have heard him when he was alive and screaming.

I was exposed to him because my kids were into Nirvana, and I actually liked a lot of the songs, especially the big hit, “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

And my nephew was such a devotee that he bought a huge poster of Cobain issued after the singer’s death done up in soft pastels with those “heaven rays” emanating from his head — a very Jesusy thing that captured the reverence with which fans regarded him. It always gives me the creeps when I see it.

But still, you’d expect the top dead earner to be someone everybody would instantly recognize — like Elvis, or John Lennon, who’s always right around number three or four.

In fact, it’s likely that Elvis will regain the crown eventually. Cobain zoomed to the top because his widow, the talented but... uh... emotionally mercurial singer, Courtney Love, last year “sold a 25 percent stake in his song catalog to publishing company Primary Wave for a reported $50 million,” Forbes reports.

If, as expected, a wave of Cobain music starts washing over movies and commercials, and if it catches on again, then maybe Cobain will hold a high spot. But I don’t think so.

Other musicians have surfaced on the list since 2001, only to slip back into a less lucrative afterlife. Jerry Garcia made the list at numbers 10 and 12 in 2001 and 2002, but he’s now mostly a yummy flavor of ice cream and off the list.

Likewise, Tupac Shakur came and went quickly.

Even NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt, who was personally responsible for putting the number 3 on the map (or at least on gazillions of hats, T-shirts and bumper stickers), lasted only two years on the list.

It’s harder than you think to keep bringing home a paycheck from six feet under.

Which raises the question: Who among the living is most likely to reach into our pockets from the great beyond?

Forbes speculates on this by giving a list of likely candidates and asking readers to vote on them. You can play at: www.forbes.com/2006/10/23/tech-media_06deadcelebs_cx_pk_top-earning-dead-celebrities_land.html.

Here are your choices: Dan Brown, Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Jeff Koons, George Lucas, Paul McCartney, Madonna, Jack Nicholson, J.K. Rowling, Jon Stewart, Steven Spielberg, Elizabeth Taylor, Oprah Winfrey, and “They will all be forgotten in 50 years.”

Very interesting.

I say Rowling because Harry Potter gets millions of new fans with every new generation of 10-year-olds. Lucas, Spielberg and McCartney should do just fine.

The rest? Really here today, but it’s “Oprah who?” tomorrow.

Still, all these hardworking dead prove one thing — even though you can’t take it with you, you can still earn a nice “living” from beyond.

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Rich Lewis’ e-mail address is:

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