Republican HHS Program for $50 MILLION teaches Singles under 30 to NOT HAVE SEX!

[Dems Will Win]

This shows the absolute failure of conservatism...

If you have one chance to convince an undecided Independent or a Republican to vote Democratic this year, I'd like to suggest the following:


The Bush administration would like to spend your taxpayer dollars on convincing unmarried men and women not to have sex before age 30.

Yes, Abstinence Only--if it's good for the 'tweens, it's great for the twenty-somethings.

The Department of Health and Human Services, which administers the 50 million dollar program, has issued new guidelines telling the states that they can get funding to teach abstinence to anybody up to age 29.

The party that covered up Mark Foley's stalking of teenagers, and the president who campaigned for a Pennsylvania Congressman who admitted an affair with a 29 year old woman, would like to ask all you singles out there to just say no to sex, at least until you're 30. (No telling whether there's an exemption for relationships with members of Congress).

I know, I know. Iraq. Katrina. Health care. Social Security. Minimum Wage. Habeas corpus. Torture. Privacy rights.

Any and all of them should be reason enough to kick these clowns out of Washington.

But let's face it, sex gets people's attention, and for a simple, breath-taking example of over-bearing, self-righteous, intrusive, government over-reach, you really can't do much better than funding abstinence only programs for unmarried adults. (At least, I hope you can't).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shelley-lewis/no-sex-please-were-sing_b_33084.html

[bryant69]

1. How Not to Have Sex!

An instructional video. First of all look down, and determine your gender (as covered in section 5A (Boy Bits and Girl Bits). Write it on a slip of paper, as you will have to refer to your gender often, as we explain to you "How not to have sex."

I don't know how much further i can go without getting kind of blue.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[CharmCity]

11. Date a Republican!

[bryant69]

13. No I think recent evidence has shown that dating a republican

is no guarantee of avoiding sex.

Bryant

[Tyo]

2. I don't think $50 million is going to even begin to get the job done n/t

[LynneSin]

3. KO featured the guy spearheading this on 'Worst Person Ever'

The guy looked like he didn't get laid until he was thirty - if he was lucky

[JHB]

4. WhooHoo! Sign me up for the new "chastity clubs"...

...if they work out anything like those "virginity pledge" programs, they should be the hottest place for an "easy" date :popcorn:

[BattyDem]

5. Can you imagine ANYONE sitting through this class?

It's one thing when they have a captive audience, like they do in the schools, but let's get real ... no TAX-PAYING ADULT is going to willingly sit through a government-sponsored morality class! Adults will either choose to be sexually active or not - either way, they don't want to be lectured about it. Spend the money to teach family planning to anyone who's interested and offer free birth control and/or condoms to those who can't afford it. Teach ... don't preach!


edited: typo :blush:

[Turbineguy]

6. "How not to have Sex"

Wear some icky perfume, "Eau de Merde du Chien" or something.

Remove those little pull tabs from all your zippers.

Show that you carry old rubbers. Be sure to point out the needle stuck though the packaging.

Say something unpleasant to your date like "For a fat girl, you don't sweat much!"

Get a temporary tattoo with a name different than the one you are with on your forehead.

Pick your nose in public and carefully inspect the results.

Be generally stupid and obnoxious in restaurants.

When on a bus with your date, state loudly that all those professors in the electoral college should be shot.

That should do for starters.

(waiting for that government grant now.)

[Justitia]

7. So, if my under 30 , single son agrees to not have sex, can he get some help to stay alive???

He is 23, not dating anyone because he is in the hospital most of the time fighting his end stage renal disease.

He has no health insurance (could never get any from anyone), got laid off for being sick, so no income.
Without continuous kidney dialysis he will die.
Without medical coverage he cannot get on the transplant list.

If he agrees to not have sex, can we just get a tiny, tiny fraction of that same money to save his life for crissakes???

Thanks!

[Straight Shooter]

15. Thank you for pointing out the absurdity of the GOP's skewed priorities.

I am so sorry. I honestly don't know what to say.

:hug:

[chaumont58]

8. Is Haggard 30?

He should have listened.

[buddysmellgood]

9. They need to spell out if this includes or excludes masturbation. If

masturbation is ok, at what age and how frequent. Are lubes ok? Can anyone watch?

[Mad_Dem_X]

10. Why are these freaks so obsessed

with other people's sex lives????

[Dems Will Win]

12. They are obsessed with sex because they are not allowed

to gas Jews anymore and they are down to the sex deviant SCAPEGOAT.

[Pawel K]

14. I think none of them got laid until they were thirty

and now they are making excuses as to why not.

[williesgirl]

16. This money should be going to feed our poor, give health care where needed, not for

the Xian right's phony objectives.

[OneBlueSky]

17. these people are living in the Dark Ages . . .

fact: people under 30 have sex . . . lots of it . . .

fact: people under 18 have sex . . . lots of it . . .

fact: people as young as 12 or 13 (or even younger) have sex . . . not as much as their older friends -- but more than in previous generations . . .

fact: no legislation, no abstinance program, and no wishful thinking is going to stop any of the above . . . it's called "being human" . . .