Karl Rove's Push-Polling Fun!

[Coexist]

TO: State Republican Campaign Chairmen
FROM: Karl C. Rove
RE: 2006 Push Polling

Gentlemen: On November 7th, America's voting-obsessed geriatrics will forego watching The Price is Right in order to creek out of their easy chairs and hobble – colostomy bags in hand – to go cast ballots for Congressional candidates. As part of an effort to quantify electoral eventualities, I have compiled a series of informal, state-specific surveys. Please have your call centers begin immediate inquiries into constituents' positions on the following ostensibly hypothetical scenarios.

NED LAMONT (Connecticut):
Would you vote for Democratic candidate Ned Lamont if you found out that he was a cable television executive, and that as such, he made millions by transmitting hardcore pornography into children's bedrooms, and that if elected, he wouldn't care if your baby's blue eyes were sullied by repeated pay-per-view showings of Clit-Flicking Bull Dykes VII?
< > Yes < > No < > Not Sure

CLAIRE McCASKILL (Missouri):
Would you vote for Democratic Candidate Claire McCaskill if you found out that as a cheerleader in high school, she begged the entire football team to run a train on her while shrieking orgasmically about how the Founding Fathers never intended the Second Amendment to allow law-abiding citizens to buy personal Howitzers for squirrel hunting?
< > Yes < > No < > Not Sure

more fun here at Whitehouse.org.
I love that site!

[KingFlorez]

1. That is funny