Why Do I Feel Sorry For Ted Haggard?

[smirkymonkey]

I am having a visceral reaction of pity, rather than outrage, hatred or disgust, and I really don't understand why.

I despise the Christian Fundamentalist Right, Evangelical Preachers, Republicans in General,anybody who is in close contact with Monkey Boy, Hypocrites and Bald Faced Liars. So why do I feel sorry for Ted Haggard?

I am happy on a political level for all the Republican scandals occurring right now, and I certainly don't pity him more than I do the victims of the Bush Admin (all the dead soldiers, Iraqis, the poor, the honest, gays, women, sick people with no insurance - the list goes on...) but I get the sense that he is someone who is so lost and so believes his lies, that it is difficult for me to wish him ill.

Anybody else have a similar reaction?

[gfnrob]

1. I wish him the best.

my he find happiness as the gay man that he is.

[thepurpose]

2. Probably because unlike the fakers you actually have compassion for fellow

human beings.

[NEDem]

3. Nope, of all the scandals, this is the one

that I find ridiculously funny.

I wish I could take pity on him, but considering how many hundreds of people he hurt every week with his messages of hate, I can't.

I say he's getting exactly what he deserves.

[QuestionAll...]

22. somewhat agree...

but not sure because I could give a shit the suffering that user and abuser snake oiler could be going through when there are So Many truly innocent that have a far harsher time than he ever had or ever will.

poor baby.
my hairy ass.
is he getting what he deserves.
I don't have the time to even think or worry about that speck of nothing.

[porphyrian]

4. You aren't afraid of having compassion for those who are afraid of having it for you? - n/t

[MnFats]

5. i feel badly for him, too....BUT

he has done a lot of damage with his commentary on gays, on gay marriage, on gays being 'cured,' etc.
but the more of this that proves true, the more holy hell he will catch.
many, many Christians of that ilk are unforgiving, despite what the founder of the church had to say about such things.
also feel bad for his kids....they didn't ask for this..

[MrPrax]

6. Good sentiment...

I am conflicted...while I despise these homophobic morally smug creatures and I know, there will be yet another to replace him, what the guy did is...well...not particularly bad, other than cheating on his wife -- which is bad and doing 'meth' which is really bad.

But that's probably the only unforgivable thing -- it's up to his family to forgive him for his infidelity and he really should look into the real health effects of 'speed'...not good for particularly older men, who might be on other medication.

I just hope that a few of the bent out of shape 'holier than thou' flock types learn some humility out of the whole affair and think twice before they condemn -- maybe offer some help and understanding for a change.

[smirkymonkey]

24. I am hoping that this will shatter the smugness of the right-wing

religious hypocrites that seem to abound in this country and I don't believe he is an innocent victim. I also can't stand to see what damage they do to gay men and women who are brave enough to live a true life rather than one of shame and self-hatred. What he preaches is wrong.

I guess I can finally see the self-hatred someone must have to live their life this way. I am hoping that somehow these exposures will snap hateful right-wingers out of their smug superiority in that they will begin to realize and have compassion for thier own humanity and vulnerability. I don't know, maybe I am overestimating them.

[Cha]

7. Get a grip!

ted artie haggard and his ilk are selling our country down the tubes. Where's that damn tiny violin? :nopity: :nopity:

[BootinUp]

8. I don't wish him ill, but I wish his power structure ill. n/t

[smirkymonkey]

18. I can definitely get on board with that....

Usually, I feel a certain sadistic glee (there's a word for it, what do you call it? - it means to rejoice in the downfall of another, can't think of the word right now.) when people whom I consider enemies or those who are the enemies of all I believe to be right and good meet their downfall. However, I don't feel that this time.

If it was George W. Bush - I would be jumping up and down with childish delight, so it's not that I am so compassionate. Maybe it's that I sense a difference between the truly evil and those who are just majorly fucked up, which is infinitely more human to me.

[sam sarrha]

9. as a Buddhist i prefer 'Compassion'.. cant hate him, but i enjoy the ripples it causes

[DawgHouse]

10. I keep it in perspective by considering how many people he hurt

with his bigoted, pious teaching from the pulpit.

[acmejack]

11. It says much about the caliber of your person.

Feel good about yourself, for you are a better person than most us.

[ecstatic]

12. personally, I can't stop laughing

Never even heard of the guy before last night, but I just find the entire situation to be hilarious. His interview in the car was off the chain funny (the only tragic part was that his family was in the car). LMAO!

[H2O Man]

13. "With the measure you use,

it will be measured to you." -- Gospel of Matthew, 7:2.

It's sad on two levels. First, that a hatred that pre-dated him caused him to hate himself, and to have to lie about who he is. More pathetic is that he will now be the victim of the hatred he helped generate towards others.

It may have two positive results. First, it may impact the elections Tuesday. Second, it may cause some of our sick republican conservative citizens to examine the damage that their hatred causes.

[Tatiana]

59. I just loved that response.

I echo the sentiments. I sort of feel bad for him, just like I sort of felt bad for Gary Hart and Bill Clinton. However, the positive outcome of this is that not just Republicans, but some of the Republicrats in the bible-belt will really look honestly at this issue and see gay people as people deserving of compassion just like themselves.

[smirkymonkey]

68. I agree - his own self-hatred has made him who he is, and now

he will suffer again from the hatred and judgement of others. Now we will see the hypocrisy and the myth of "Christian Compassion" (not that there aren't very compassionate people who are Christian, I am referring to the false "Christians" who are more vocal and dangerous,) as they turn their backs on him and metaphorically stone him to death.

However, I am on some level very pleased about the damage this will do to the greater community of the hateful Christian Republican lunatic fringe. I think this is the beginning of the end for them.

[johnnypneumatic]

14. I do feel sorry for the scorpion that stung me on the finger last week

I must admit I didn't think twice when I smashed him with the shovel with two tons of force and smeared his biomass across the patio cement. But now, as the numbness of my finger slowly goes away, I do wonder if I should have done that. It wasn't his fault, it was his nature to sting, he couldn't help himself. It was just an impulsive act on my part, to mash him into pulp, and a sentient being like me has no excuse for acting without thinking first. Was the scorpion evil? I can't say he was, he couldn't know any better, or really he couldn't know anything at all. Am I evil? I don't think so.
But the twisted psychotic anti-gay republicans and anti-gay religious I have no sympathy for. They should know better and they are evil. And the ones who are bi/gay and are still anti-gay are worse.
No I don't feel sorry.

[NNN0LHI]

15. How many gay people is he responsible for being discriminated against...

...beaten up, or worse with his anti-gay rhetoric?

Do you think he feels sorry for any of them?

Don

[smirkymonkey]

32. Probably not, because he doesn't realize how much of his own

self hatred he is projecting onto them. He is one of them, but he cannot accept himself, so he (like many of his type) are hell-bent on destroying what they so despise in themselves.

I am not SIDING with these people - I think they need to be shut down and their hate propaganda needs to be silenced. I am just expressing my confusion at being able to see a human being behind the fuckhead, which is something fairly new to me.

In some strange way, I feel like the destruction of all these illusions and the revealation of their hypocrisy will break open the denial of thier self-hatred and cause them to see where they are so wrong. Maybe I am too optimistic.

[Lisa]

16. because you are a much nicer person than George W. Bush

He claims to be "compassionate" and "emotional", but weeps only when it's about him, and is dry-eyed or even gleeful if somebody else is in trouble. You, on the other hand, are truly compassionate, and are not the type to look through someone's wallet at their voter ID or credit cards, before calculating whether or not to feel sorry.

[Obamarama]

17. I don't feel sorry. The cretin deserves everything he's getting.

I can't beleive all this "feel sorry for Haggard" sentiment. You beat the Republicans at their own game by doing what they would do were the tables turned: KICK THE HYPOCRITE WHEN HE'S DOWN.

Personally, I think anyone feeling sorry for Haggard and his ilk ought to grow a fucking spine.

[smirkymonkey]

29. I think there is something wrong with me - I can hate and judge

in the abstract, so it's not like I am buddhist-monk like in my level of compassion. But whenever I see an INDIVIDUAL human being who has fallen hard, even if it's their own doing, my pity reflex kicks in.

Even if I lash out at someone who has done me a grievous injustice or has cruelly betrayed me, I always feel bad afterward. I don't know why - I don't think I am a complete doormat, but I think as I get older I see that nobody is all good or all bad and I am learning to have empathy for the pain of others, even when that pain causes them to harm others. I don't know if more hatred and judgement is going to solve anything.

[Lisa]

33. if so, I've got the same condition

Several people at work got upset on my behalf a couple of years ago, when I was passed over for promotion in favor of a new hire (who had been promised a job as part of the recruitment package for her husband). I just didn't feel comfortable kicking up a fuss, and even less like gloating after she turned out not to have the qualifications they'd expected. I think my keeping my head down might have contributed to my getting hired on as an emergency replacement when she bailed out of a project on short notice -- and when she and her husband split up due to marital problems, a lot of people felt sorry for her, so it was probably just as well that I wasn't seen as causing difficulties for her. Even if animosity may be justified, that sort of thing can backfire so easily.

[Obamarama]

35. Yeah, well I'm gay and I'm over SOB right-wing Christians demonising me....

ESPECIALLY when those doing the demonising are sneaking around paying for sex with a gay prostitute.

My partner and I have been together 18 years, and while we've had our ups and downs we've never wresteled with the issue of infidelity, yet we're a threat to "traditional marriage."

Haggard is a homophobic blowhard and totally dishonors his own "traditional marriage," to have sex with a male prostitute. And I'm supposed to find compassion for this fuck?

If that's the Zen thing to do, then I am SOOOOOOOOOO not Zen.

I say nail the fucking dirt bag and kick him while he's down.

[Lisa]

48. I think you've got every right to want to call them on it, KzooDem

I've never been the type to tell people that they are "supposed" to feel or do things a particular way. Mainly because it irritates the heck out of me when someone decides to play amateur shrink or social worker (or worse, amateur spiritual advisor!) and persists in telling me "everything happens for a reason", or "God planned things this way to teach you a lesson", or from your example, "that's the Zen thing to do".

[smirkymonkey]

36. Yes, that's it exactly. I will wish for someone to get what is coming

to them, but when it happens, I honestly feel bad for them. I think maybe understanding our own human-ness (is that a word?) helps us to understand the behavior of those who are unkind and harmful to others, even though we don't necessarily condone their behavior.

I go back and forth - I live in NY and there are a lot of soulless, greedy, selfish people here that would just as soon kill you as try to understand you (or themselves) - I work with quite a few of them. There are some people I really can't stand, but I have flashes of empathy because I know that nobody is that hateful or destructive unless they are in great pain.

Happy people don't act that way, and there seem to be fewer and fewer genuinely happy people as we trudge through the Bush years. Insecurity and fear dominate in this society.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

19. My sympathies don't extend to rich, bigoted, con-men.

[niyad]

20. this lying, hypocritical, hate-mongering POS is one of *s closest

advisers, not to mention his influence here in this city. feel sorry for him? NO F****** WAY. read the Harper's article on him, and then tell me how sorry any of you feel for this smug, self-righteous, power-hungry, lying jerk.

as one of my friends pointed out, he could have been a minister in boston or sf, nobody would have cared, he could have been openly gay. instead, he helped create a monster called "new life church" (and for those of you who are not familiar with it, the thing is ugly incarnate (and that's just the buildings!!)

[smirkymonkey]

34. I have to admit, I didn't know much about him until this scandal,

and maybe upon further exploration my pity will evaporate.

I have been so distressed and pained by all the war, corruption, hatred and intolerance that has been going on since Bush took office, I almost think I have bottomed out on anger and it has been replaced with understanding. However, I still realize that people like this are dangerous and cannot be trusted to do the right thing given half the chance.

I am confused - because I don't feel like my reaction is at all logical, or even my habitual nature.

[ClintonTyree]

21. Nope....

I'm happy as a clam. You reap what you sew. There's a whole lot of asswipes with a whole lot of reapin' to do and I'm gonna' enjoy every minute of it. I gave up being, "Mr. Nice Guy" after the 2004 election. I have no empathy for these pieces of shit because they haven't had a bit of empathy for anyone in their entire lives. They've lived judgmental, hypocritical lives and they deserve everything they've got coming to them. Screw 'em! :)

[Catherine Vincent]

23. The hypocrite doesn't deserve our pity.

[lonestarnot]

25. Hell no I don't feel sorry for that hypocritical cult leader.

[AlinPA]

26. No. He is a hypocrite and a hateful, intolerant, holier-than-thou fake.

[Imagevision]

27. Scum sucker Haggard has the balls to hide behind wife & kids during interview

the car is parked and staged, lighting is brought in, microphones are set, this putz is low.

[patricia92243]

28. I am feeling very sad for his family, but not for him. They are innocent victims.

[UTUSN]

30. No, *I* don't. Why do YOU???? n/t

[smirkymonkey]

40. I don't know - that was the whole point of my posting.

It surprised me to feel any compassion at all for someone that I consider to be the enemy of all I value and hold dear.

[UTUSN]

44. Well, I don't get it n/t

[jefferson_dem]

31. Well, for a fleeting moment i did actually feel sorry for the poor sod

while watching his interview/confession in the car today. :nopity:

Then i collected my senses and remembered...karma's an audacious bitch! :evilgrin:

[smirkymonkey]

39. I think that Interview was the clincher for me.

I was surprised at my own reaction, because normally, there is nothing I enjoy more than seeing a religious, right-wing hypocrite exposed.

I even felt kind of sorry for Saddam Hussein - not sure why. In no way do I condone his actions or behavior and I think he deserves to be in prison for the rest of his life, but there was something about him that seemed so broken - what happened to him to make him this way?

[Tinksrival]

55. Hi smirkymonkey,

When this story story broke I did some google research on Ted and he seems certifiable.
I found this clip in the video forum that was so fascinating that I watched it over and over. It just seems like he was reveling in his hypocrisy by mocking the film crew that was filming that documentary "Jesus Camp". I'm curious what you take on it is?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x2119

[smirkymonkey]

61. It's revolting, yet I found the ignorance kind of funny - he's just

so ridiculous. I despise what he says, but to me they are basically the rantings of a crazy person. However, I will acknowledge the damage he does to real people is serious and not to be discounted. I completely disagree with everything he says and stands for.

That being said, I guess I see him as a deeply repressed, closeted gay man who so despises his own homosexuality that he lashes out at all gay people. And his followers are likewise people filled with deep self hatred for their own reasons. I really don't know what is wrong with these people - they are seriously fucked up. However, I don't think all of them are acting out of evil, but out of fear and self-hatred.

My hope is that as the HYPOCRISY of the gay bashers is exposed, it will become very clear that those who lash out against homosexuals ARE THEMSELVES HOMOSEXUALS, which in turn will silence them for fear of being called out. In short, I am glad that he was exposed because it will SHUT HIM UP.

My sadness and compassion come from a place where I find that so many societies (particularly religious ones) encourage this intolerance because THEY CAN'T ACCEPT THE COMPLEXITIES OF HUMAN SEXUALITY and therefore set the stage for generations of gay men and women who range from mildly self-hating (from having internalized cultural messages) to the rabid, religious fanatics that are SO repressed, they project all their self-loathing onto their brothers and sister. That is the tragedy. Why can't people just live and let live?

[Tinksrival]

69. Beautifully put smirky

I just finished reading Harpers article on Haggard. He is a dangerous delusional drug addict with way to much power. One word.....frightening!

http://www.harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist-20061103288348488.html

snip>>>>>>

He called the evil forces that dominated Colorado Springs—and every other metropolitan area in the country—“Control.”

Sometimes, he says, Control would call him late on Saturday night, threatening to kill him. “Any more impertinence out of you, Ted Haggard,” he claims Control once told him, “and there will be unrelenting pandemonium in this city.” No kidding! Pastor Ted hadn't come to Colorado Springs for his health; he had come to wage “spiritual war.”

He moved the church to a strip mall. There was a bar, a liquor store, New Life Church, a massage parlor. His congregation spilled out and blocked the other businesses. He set up chairs in the alley. He strung up a banner: SIEGE THIS CITY FOR ME, signed JESUS. He assigned everyone in the church names from the phone book they were to pray for. He sent teams to pray in front of the homes of supposed witches—in one month, ten out of fifteen of his targets put their houses on the market. His congregation “prayer-walked” nearly every street of the city.

[smirkymonkey]

71. Ok - he should be locked up.

The more I hear about him, the more I realize he's not just bat-shit crazy, he's bat-shit crazy and dangerous.

Still I think he is externalizing his own demons - There is no "Control" there is only a diseased, twisted mind that is completely out of touch with reality.

How is it that the world's most fucked-up, criminally insane people end up having so many followers, what does that say about our societies?

[karlrschneider]

37. I absolutely understand your compassion and it's admirable.

Far more than he deserves, probably, but there IS that element of society that has aided in making him
the hypocrite he is. My sister married a guy 25 years ago and has 2 great kids - last year he admitted
to her that he's gay. So the marriage is wrecked but they are still friendly...he now lives with his
boy friend and the kids are dealing with it pretty well. I have 2 other old friends who did essentially the same thing. There -still- is a lot of pressure on gay people to pretend. Maybe it will change someday.

[smirkymonkey]

43. Yes - I have a few friends who lived completely closeted lives,

marraige and all (but no kids) and they really believed that they could do the "straight" thing - they were very in denial about their homosexuality. Eventually, they couldn't deny it any longer and came out and are better off for it. And still friendly with their exes after some intial sense of shock and betrayal.

They are good people, but I think that society causes certian gay people to suppress their sexuality to the point where they aren't even fully aware of it themselves. A lot of these people are homophobic, but not all of them. I think it's a combination of the individual nature of a person, their upbringing and the cultural messages they grew up with. It's just sad all the way around that people can't be who they really are in this culture - there is so much pressure to conform to a fucked up societal "norm" which really isn't very normal at all.

The most screwed up people I know are the ones who externally fit the "normal" mold, but are very tormented individuals underneath it all.

[karlrschneider]

45. The first time I met my brother in law was at his mom's house before

my sis married him. I wasn't particularly impressed, he seemed a bit 'odd' to me but not gay at all.
His younger brother was there, he was a spectacularly cute guy. Somehow (I can't recall the details) the subject of gay people came up. The cute brother made a rather passionate case for equal gay rights and I wondered where THIS is coming from??? Looking back on it from this long ago far distance, I wonder if he knew about his brother and was obliquely tendering a defense...or maybe even a warning..to my sister?

It was one the strangest things I'd ever experienced. I regret not saying something to support him
but the whole family was there and clearly discomfited by his comments so I kept my mouth shut.

[tuvor]

38. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.

I'm sure you'll feel better. :)

[Sapphocrat]

41. Because you're a better person than I am.

Seriously. Karma be damned, the bastard can rot in hell AFAIC.

He's made my life hell. May he live a long, long life of mental anguish, and then rot.

[Zambero]

42. Hopefully he'll do some soul searching and embark on a new career

Haggart is certainly toast as an evangelist. He could possibly "redeem" himself if he came clean on what really happened, stop posturing as something he isn't, stopped doing meth, disavowed the religious right, and worked to promote equality in the gay community. Wouldn't that put a killer bee in the bonnets of Dobson, Falwell, Robertson, et al?

[jesus_of_suburbia]

46. Beats me!

I'm gay and I don't have compassion for him... neither do I have empathy for him.


He dug his own grave when he preached that homosexuals were demon possessed.


I have passion for conservative closeted Christians who don't fight against gay rights.

I have no compassion for idiots who don't practice what they preach (when what they preach
puts down others).

[Ilsa]

47. Most people are too tired from having to make a real living to

feel sorry for that SOB. You are definitely a stronger and better person than I am.

I don't wish ill upon him, but he was trying to bring bigotry and misery to others in the public arena of gay marriage, and for that reason, I can't feel sorry that he owns so much cognitive dissonance or whatever.

[Mr_Spock]

49. I think it's because he was caught cold and he is a bad liar

It must be tough to be in that situation. I don't envy him.

[WinkyDink]

50. Because he has the "I can dupe you" style down pat?

[leesa]

51. Just think of all the young Christian soldiers he is training in Jesus Camps

all over this country to wage war against those of us who are not like them.

[Red Right and BLUE]

52. It's human to have compassion.

I do feel bad for him and his family. But he brought it upon himself. I don't think anyone wishes him ill. I think they wish he hadn't suppressed his true desires and mislead and hurt millions of people, gay and evangelical alike. That angers people. That's not the same as hoping something bad happens to him. Like others, I'm enjoying the hell out of the timing. I have laughed - this stuff is happening so often that I am just not surprised anymore. It's sad, but the constant hypocrisy makes one cynical. no one should feel guilty for feeling this way.

[Eric J in MN]

53. Yes, and it's because he has a likeable style. (NT)

NT

[yodermon]

54. Because you understand this:

There are no abusers who were not abused.
Every abuser was him/herself, abused.

This is not excusing abuse, but explaining it.

(also note that this does NOT mean that all who are abused become abusers themselves.)

[niyad]

56. what????? where was ANYTHING said about abuse? this isn't

foley, you know.

[progressivebydesign]

64. Yeah, Haggard only wanted orgies with 18 year olds...

that's perfectly legal (of course).

[Rex]

57. Because you have feelings?

Call me crazy, but I blame compassion.

[Beausoir]

58. Because being gay is NOT a choice. And the man could not deny his fate.

Being gay is NOT a choice. And he was raised and abused into thinking that what he feels is wrong.


Now...the buying of meth...is another story entirely.

[smirkymonkey]

63. That's exactly it - I wish I could have said it so succinctly.

As far as the meth goes, I won't get started on my compassion for drug addicts, because I understand the torment and helplessness of addiction as well.

Note: I am not condoning the behavior. He is wrong on both counts and should pay the price. I see it as a tragedy in the Greek sense. The fatal flaw of a human being that brings about his downfall.

[BurtWorm]

60. I can cure you of your pity.

Watch this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x2273

(A fascist flavor of Jim Jones comes to mind.)

[progressivebydesign]

62. He ripped off thousands of people through his deceptions.

I have the same pity I'd have for an Enron player. The truth is he fleeced his flock out of all that money, lived a highstyle life, partied with the influential, because of the money and trust given to him by his followers. It was based on a total lie... he was acting.. he deserves no pity.

[City Lights]

65. Actually, don't feel anything for him.

I don't really care about him one bit. He made choices, and now he'll have to live with the consequences of those choices.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

66. Because he's pitiful.

:shrug:

[roody]

67. I totally feel sorry for him and I think he is an asshole.

Too bad homophobia kept him from a happy life. (and his stupid religion.)

[flying_wahini]

70. I feel sorry for his wife and kids, but not him. He's a bastard.

He has profited off of his hatred and sacrificed his family for wealth and fame.
He preached against the gay lifestyle and made boocoo dollars doing it. Preaching
FOR discrimination, not compassion for his fellow man.

He does not deserve pity because he is gay. He has not displayed compassion for
those closest to him - therefore he deserve nothing but scorn.
If he were an ordinary person, yes, maybe. But not him. Not now after
all the damage he has caused people. He is ONLY sorry because he got caught
and is going to lose his family, wealth and position because of it.
He deserves the scorn of a nation.
If you have any pity at all, save it for his poor wife and children.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

75. I agree... I feel sorry for his wife and kids

[flying_wahini]

76. Welcome to DU !

[Jade Fox]

72. I feel sorry for the gays whose lives Haggard made more difficult....

because of his own self-hate. That self-hate visited on other gays has served Haggard well. He is powerful and influential, pal-ing around with GOP big-wigs, and I'm guessing he lives quite well. All this while fanning the flames of homophobia all over this country, and empowering the fascist scapegoating wing of the Right.

Screw him. If Haggard were a closeted gay man who suffered in silence and confusion, alone and frightened (as so many have) I'd feel sorry for him. But he chose to make others suffer. I bet he believes other gay people "made" him gay.

[tenshi816]

73. I don't hate him or anything like that,

but I find it hard to sympathize with him either. He's caused so much harm, and he meant to. It's hard to feel really sorry for someone like that, although I wish him well in discovering the "real" Ted Haggard.

I keep thinking of the biblical phrase "sow the wind, reap the whirlwind".

[Hoping4Change]

74. Read the following and you might not feel so sad.

http://www.harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist-20061103288348488.html

[Texasgal]

77. I feel absolutely NO pity

for him whatsoever.

He is a FRAUD and a LIAR. Two things I hate the most.

I don't give a rats ass what happens to him.

[burythehatchet]

78. because every human has an incredible

capacity for empathy and compassion. We are the only species to have been given that gift in such abundance. To be an angry conservative simply means that one has refused to acknowledge their capacity for compassion.