"I never swallowed" - will the 'Clinton' defense work for Haggard

[rivertext]

;-)

-- Brian

[CJCRANE]

1. Haggard also said

"I never had sex with a man in Denver".

[Philosoraptor]

2. I bought meth, but tossed it, I payed for sex, but got a massage

I was married with five kids, I fought against gay marriage, and I am a hypocrite.

[flordehinojos]

3. "I paid for sex but got a massage" sort of sounds like Foley's Catholic priest,

Merciaca (correct name?) .. "we touched each other but nothing you would call there was no penetration".

[pretzel4gore]

5. nevermind that...where did ya throw the meth?

geez, probably pharmaceutical quality too, befitting a gopig bigshot! c'mon, ted, just a rough idea!
(i mean, really! how many people can afford to 'throw away' methamphetamine?)
the frigging rape-publicans; digging themselves deeper...

[Hubert Flottz]

7. Some little grade school kid probably found that stuff and so now

the poor child is addicted for life, to HARD DRUGS! Evil Bad Guys like that false preacher are cutting and running from the war...on drugs everyday. Supporting some evil bastid who is running a meth lab in a house full of tiny tots somewhere out there! I guess dope fiends like Haggard see their graven Idol Rush Lamebowell getting away with using hard drugs and they want to be just like Rush for the rush. Why do you think they call that dope RUSH?

Meanwhile back at the detox center...what do we tell the kids?

[opihimoimoi]

9. ICE, The most dangerous drug in America...AKA Meth...the stuff Hitler was on.

This DRUG is ruining America.....

Guys like Haggard is RUINING AMERICA.....

The GOP is RUINING AMERICA

Bush and CREW is RUINING AMERICA

Mike sez TED SWALLOWS??? Oh Lordy...

[Hubert Flottz]

10. He may not have had sex with a man in Denver but was he gagin'

in the Garden Of The Gawds?

His wife didn't look very happy on the six o'clock news.

And what will he tell HIS children?

It's just hard to tell what all that dude been puffin' on!

Trust him? Trust Bush? BULLSHIT!

[zeemike]

4. Oh now that is nasty

But also very funny.

"I did not have sexual relations with that gay masseuse"

[KayLaw]

6. How about . . .

I did NOT strangle my mistress.

[WinkyDink]

8. "Everywhere BUT Denver" is how I read that disclaimer.

[Bucky]

11. Congratulations, Brian! You're the first person who managed to blame Clinton for the Haggard scandal

I understand Freepers earn boudoir "cheesecake" nudey pictures of Richard Perle when they come up with such concoctions. You'll have to settle for my admiration.

[Moderator]

12. locking...

This is inappropriate.