Oh dear!! Look at this and tell me Haggard only wanted a "massage"

[CatWoman]

http://www.bodyworkformen.com/frame.php?RET=%2Fchapter.php%3FCategoryID%3D6%26Country%3DUnited%2BStates%26StateProv%3DColorado%26City%3DDenver&LinkID=906

These pics are from Mike's personal webpage/advertisement.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/11/04/haggards-muscle-stud-_n_33281.html

[Straight Shooter]

1. Hubba hubba!

Hubba bubba bubba hubba.

Hubba hubba ....

Ouch. Oh my.

Uh-huh, all right, ja ja.

[peacebird]

2. *what* is he doing to that poor little santa bear?!?!?

[CatWoman]

4. rofl!!

:rofl:

[rucky]

10. That's why Haggard didn't have sex with him.

the damn bear kept getting in the way.

[arewenotdemo]

45. uh, methinks the bear wouldn't have interfered with

what went on between those two.

[maseman]

31. He's so hot

even his BMs come out looking like cute teddy bears. :)

[Bear down under]

71. Showing he's bear-ass naked

OK, it may not be the best of puns, but the man has a sense of humour.

[MADem]

3. Sad to be a 49 year old hooker. I'm guessing he didn't think his life would

turn out like that....but he is very fit for his age!

[Raksha]

40. He's 49? Damn, he looks like he's in his 30's. Either that

or I'm getting a lot older than I even want to think about! He almost looks like a kid to me.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

5. Yeah. And guys who go to the Mustang Ranch are looking for horses.

[WindRavenX]

6. AHAHAHAHAHAH

:rofl: :rofl:

I enjoy *every* bit of this Haggard shitstorm :D

[MelissaB]

7. Yawza! Sign me up for a massage.

[TahitiNut]

60. Well, Ted's "massage" was only 6-7" long.

I'm guessing Mike charges more for longer massages. :evilgrin:

[donheld]

61. But he massages the prostate just right

:evilgrin:

[Freedom_from_Chains]

8. I'm not even gay and I have to admit he has a great bod. n/t

[CatWoman]

12. *drool*

*sputter*

*lecherous grin*

same here!!

:)

[Carni]

65. Ok something about that Saddam/dumsfeld pic on this thread

Is really funny...

I know it's your sig line (took me a minute lol) but at first I thought:

"WTF? What do Saddam and Dumsfeld have to do with Haggard's love interest?"

LOL! I just cracked myself up with my own thoughts

[eleny]

9. Him just sitting there on the tv with the black tee was enough

Looks like he's got his body to the "just right" place.

[ecstatic]

11. Haggard may have a valid defense after all: Meth causes impotence??

Is it true that meth use causes impotence, because if so, then it's possible that no sex ever took place (unless he was on the receiving end of course).

[TexasLady]

29. Im thinking Haggard is a bottom

and Mike is a top. Sooo, the issue of Haggard's willie is nillie!:D

[troubleinwinter]

52. 'Gannon'

was a "top" too.

[donheld]

68. I'll just bet you are 100% right

I think that's what most married men who seek out that kind of "massage" are bottoms.

[KittyWampus]

13. his body build is repulsive and unnatural. Looks like an insect's exoskeleton

[Trajan]

35. Classic Greek Physique

Check classic sculpture ....

Because hard work and little food is the norm, mankind is historically lean and muscular, unlike the fat pigs we have become ...

There is nothing 'repulsive' about a fit human form .....

[KittyWampus]

42. I studied art history. That is nothing like Greek sculpture. The Idealized Form

in Greek Sculpture shows lean, muscular figure that is NOT distorted by overdevelopment.

[arewenotdemo]

47. totally agree

may be a decent guy but I personally can't see why women or gays would be attracted to that body

[badgerpup]

50. Muscles are nice...

...but it's the 'ripped', overly defined, anatomical study look that kinda wrecks it for me...

Plus...guilty confession...I like a bit of upholstery on a man.
They just look more real...and the hugs are comfier. :blush:

[mondo joe]

56. Funny how if someone criticizes Candy Crowley's unnatural body it's

misogyny, but this guy is fair game.

[KittyWampus]

67. I don't think Crowley's physique is really intentional. And I posted my personal

preference regarding men's bodies.

It's not just an aesthetic for me. It's also the mindset of someone who spends huge amounts of time structuring their bodies to have more muscle than naturally occurs.

[Kingshakabobo]

14. Foul temptress! nt

[undeterred]

15. Ick.

[AtomicKitten]

16. He is probably a very nice drug-dealing prostitute * snort *

eom

[Faux pas]

17. LOL, he only wanted a certain part of his body massaged. n/t

[deacon]

19. lol!!!

[karlrschneider]

20. Yeah, the tonsils.

...

[Dr.Phool]

23. That's good

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[CurtEastPoint]

24. no... his BUTT... from the INSIDE!

[karlrschneider]

18. Ew, that's grotesque.

...

[spanone]

21. Eeeek!

[Deb]

22. He's making War on Christmas!

Sources say...The Rev was just trying to save Christmas.

[jhain]

49. *SNORT***

Oh. No pun intended.

[Rowdyboy]

25. "I only want a massage, the check is in the mail, I won't come in......."

er....you catch my drift. It's like "I threw away the last meth we bought, could you get some more?"

[Catherine Vincent]

26. Woot!

No wonder! This Jones guy made him lose his religion! :P

[yurbud]

27. "them's strong mass-aging arms" pastor Jethro thought

[NuttyFluffers]

28. Well, that's definitely another way to find Jesus...

:dilemma:

:evilgrin:

[Generic Other]

30. Satan, get thee behind me!

:evilgrin:

[CatWoman]

36. ROFL!!!

:rofl:

[Catherine Vincent]

37. Oh my! LOL!

:rofl:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

59. LOL!!

[windbreeze]

32. damn, you guys disabled his site.....LOL

t his member has exceeded it's band width...

[spuddonna]

33. WOW!!

He is a beautiful man...

[Neshanic]

34. Hubba hubba! Where's the one with the sword?

[butterfly77]

38. Was he massaging his d------

or getting a massage up the rectum...

[Bluebear]

41. Well, *that* was subtle. nt

[neebob]

39. What's that covering his crack - a teddy bear?

I can't see it very well

On edit: Okay, so it is a bear. To answer your question, CatWoman, it's very important when choosing a masseur to know his measurements. I can't believe you don't know that.

This reminds me of a story. I have the same (acquired) last name and first initial as a semi-famous local author, and I always used to get calls and notes in the mail from people looking for this guy. I even got an advance copy of one of his books from his publisher. Eventually I changed my listing to my original last name, which moved it to another section of the phone book, and the calls and mail stopped.

Later, I quit my job and got all kinds of cockamamie ideas for making money, one of which involved placing a classified ad in the National Enquirer. I got a P.O. box and used my first initial and acquired last name in the ad.

Like I said, I was a cockamamie idea, and I only got one response: a bottomless photo card from a gay hooker in Hollywood with a note on that back that said something like, "Hey, **** - I'd love to see you again if you're in town. Call me."

**** would be the first name of this semi-famous local author. I never have met the guy, but I feel like I know way too much about him.

[ronnykmarshall]

43. He makes me .....

ya know .... wanna release an egg.

[Ezlivin]

44. That's enough to make Jesus come again

Yeah, it's sick, but for all those years I was a fundamentalist I couldn't shake the image I'd get every time I heard that "Jesus was coming soon" or "Jesus is coming again". They could have said "Jesus is returning soon" but didn't.

Maybe Pastor Ted wanted to help Jesus come quicker? Maybe End Times is code for something else?

Hmmmm.

[helderheid]

46. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[earth mom]

48. Whoa...no wonder Teddy couldn't help himself!

:evilgrin:

[WilliamPitt]

51. Gotta love men who can poop out an FAO Schwartz toy on command.

Saves money at Christmastime.

*fleeing*

[NorthernSpy]

55. LOL! must. resist. urge...

...to build on this theme in a million tasteless ways.

:yoiks:

[Carni]

66. LMAO LMAO

Let's just hope this guy doesn't celebrate Hanukkah...LOL

[mcg]

53. Who modelled for the painting "Forgiven"?

[Quantess]

58. What the heck is that painting all about?

Twisted painting. But yes, I see a resemblance.

[mcg]

62. It's by Thomas Blackshear, whose art appears in Haggard's church.

Blackshear lives in Colorado, as does Mike Jones and Ted Haggard.

Some discussion of the painting...

http://purgatorio1.com/?p=250

My post about it...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=2551698#2569572

More info on Blackshear's art...

http://americablog.blogspot.com/2006/11/no-nothing-gay-there.html

http://www.harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist-20061103288348488.html

[NorthernSpy]

54. 'Hard. It was how Preacher Ted liked his drugs, and it was how he liked his men...'

/slash

C'mon... Who here is brave enough to write the first work of a new genre: Ted Haggard/GOPerv erotica?

[verdalaven]

57. Wow

He looks the way my husband did when we were first married (25 yrs ago). Body builder/bronze construction guy.......Yes, and those were some really good years. Is it just me, or is it getting warm in here?

His prices are low. Didn't Jeff Gannon charge something like $1000 a night?

[TexasLawyer]

63. and here's the ad

for "massages."

[Hoping4Change]

64. Excuse me but I beg to differ. I believe Haggard wanted a

massage - a deep deep deep penetrating massage. :evilgrin:

[donheld]

70. Almost a guarantee

I'd say at least 75% of married men who swing our way want just that.

[and-justice-for-all]

69. Im Gay and Mike can do me anytime...

Haggard is such a slut, fuck her.