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Why I DON'T Feel Sorry For Ted- Late One Saturday Night 'Control' Called Ted Haggard

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Jcrowley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 08:46 PM
Original message
Why I DON'T Feel Sorry For Ted- Late One Saturday Night 'Control' Called Ted Haggard
At the time, Colorado Springs was a small city split between the Air Force and the New Age, and the latter, Pastor Ted believed, worked for the devil. Pastor Ted soon began upsetting the devil's plans. He staked out gay bars, inviting men to come to his church; his whole congregation pitched itself into invisible battles with demonic forces, sometimes in front of public buildings. One day, while he was working in his garage, a woman who said she'd been sent by a witches' coven tried to stab Pastor Ted with a five-inch knife she pulled from a leg sheath; Pastor Ted wrestled the blade out of her hand. He let that story get around. He called the evil forces that dominated Colorado Springs—and every other metropolitan area in the country—“Control.”

Sometimes, he says, Control would call him late on Saturday night, threatening to kill him. “Any more impertinence out of you, Ted Haggard,” he claims Control once told him, “and there will be unrelenting pandemonium in this city.” No kidding! Pastor Ted hadn't come to Colorado Springs for his health; he had come to wage “spiritual war.”

He moved the church to a strip mall. There was a bar, a liquor store, New Life Church, a massage parlor. His congregation spilled out and blocked the other businesses. He set up chairs in the alley. He strung up a banner: SIEGE THIS CITY FOR ME, signed JESUS. He assigned everyone in the church names from the phone book they were to pray for. He sent teams to pray in front of the homes of supposed witches—in one month, ten out of fifteen of his targets put their houses on the market. His congregation “prayer-walked” nearly every street of the city.

http://www.harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist-20061103288348488.html

(The Prayer Center's nickname in the fundamentalist world is “spiritual NORAD.”) The atrium is a soaring foyer adorned with the flags of the nations and guarded by another bronze warrior angel, a scowling, bearded type with massive biceps and, again, a sword. The angel's pedestal stands at the center of a great, eight-pointed compass laid out in muted red, white, and blue-black stone. Each point directs the eye to a contemporary painting, most depicting gorgeous, muscular men—one is a blacksmith, another is bound, fetish-style, in chains—in various states of undress. My favorite is The Vessel, by Thomas Blackshear, a major figure in the evangelical-art world.<2> Here in the World Prayer Center is a print of The Vessel, a tall, vertical panel of two nude, ample-breasted, white female angels team-pouring an urn of honey onto the shaved head of a naked, olive-skinned man below. The honey drips down over his slab-like pecs and his six-pack abs into the eponymous vessel, which he holds in front of his crotch. But the vessel can't handle that much honey, so the sweetness oozes over the edges and spills down yet another level, presumably onto our heads, drenching us in golden, godly love. Part of what makes Blackshear's work so compelling is precisely its unabashed eroticism; it aims to turn you on, and then to turn that passion toward Jesus.


All of this is very excellent Ted but you're hypocrisy and manipulation is grotesque. Not to mention you're million dollar pad. As a man of the cloth you hath stained your flock.
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54anickel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. There's that "free market" crap again. I saw this in 2 or 3 other articles on
this guy. A free-market Pastor. :wtf:

snip>

....According to Ted, it was this army of Christian capitalists that took to the streets. “They're pro-free markets, they're pro-private property,” he said. “That's what evangelical stands for.”

snip>

...I want stability and, at the same time, steady, forward movement. I want the church to help me live life well, not exhaust me with endless ‘worthwhile’ projects.” By “worthwhile projects” Ted means building funds and soup kitchens alike. It's not that he opposes these; it's just that he is sick of hearing about them and believes that other Christians are, too. He knows that for Christianity to prosper in the free market, it needs more than “moral values”—it needs customer value.

New Lifers, Pastor Ted writes with evident pride, “like the benefits, risks, and maybe above all, the excitement of a free-market society.” They like the stimulation of a new brand. “Have you ever switched your toothpaste brand, just for the fun of it?” Pastor Ted asks. Admit it, he insists. All the way home, you felt a “secret little thrill,” as excited questions ran through your mind: “Will it make my teeth whiter? My breath fresher?” This is the sensation Ted wants pastors to bring to the Christian experience. He believes it is time “to harness the forces of free-market capitalism in our ministry.” Once a pastor does that, his flock can start organizing itself according to each member's abilities and tastes.


"The stimulation of a new brand"....well he's certainly taken that "secret little thrill" to a new level. :evilgrin:

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ljm2002 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #1
8. Toothpaste?????
“Have you ever switched your toothpaste brand, just for the fun of it?” Pastor Ted asks. Admit it, he insists. All the way home, you felt a “secret little thrill,” as excited questions ran through your mind: “Will it make my teeth whiter? My breath fresher?”

That's what he's going for in his preaching??? Good grief.

On the other hand, maybe with teeth like his, one might get excited about a new toothpaste brand.

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Generic Other Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:17 PM
Response to Original message
2. It's nut 'n' honey
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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:22 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. "drenching us in golden, godly love."
Um, yeah.
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Generic Other Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. born again porn
That's what the inside of the church looks like? The cover of a bodice ripper romance novel?

False idols...Gargyles...Darksided...
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TlalocW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:35 PM
Response to Original message
5. Crap like this - "Control" calling him, witches trying to stab him
Are in the same class as statues of Catholic saints that cry. It's a hoax thought up and perpetrated by the minister or priest. Want to get a little publicity for the church? Attendence been down for a while? Nothing like a good ol' story of standing up to evil or a real gosherooni miracle to bring the flock back in to fill up the church's collection plates.

TlalocW
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walldude Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:43 PM
Response to Original message
6. Bwhahaha.. So if he's the sworn enemy of Control then
Edited on Sat Nov-04-06 09:43 PM by walldude
I guess he works for K.A.O.S. :rofl: Maybe he should have used the cone of silence during his phone call to Jones.
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silverojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:56 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Dammit, you stole my joke!
"Don't push it, Starker...!"
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Neshanic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 11:44 PM
Response to Original message
9. Reading that second paragrph, methinks Ted likes the spanky stuff.
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