Big Mama Rummy Sings the Kleptocrat Scat (Again) for the Mid-Terms

[IdesOfOctober]

With apologies to the person who first spoofed this (I've put my own stank on it):

Picture it: the lights come up slowly on the Cabinet Room.

Rummy, doing his best J. Edgar Hoover, enters stage left, dressed up like Big Mama Morton, feather boa and all. He proceeds to clamber up on top of the Cabinet Room table, while his audience (the other directors of BushCo.) hoot and holler approvingly.

In the corner, Condi, concert pianist extraordinarie, reprises the role of Taye Diggs' bandleader, grabbing the microphone at the piano to electrify the crowd:

"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,
The keeper of the codes,
The Sec of GITMO,
The mistress of all that is BushCo.
Matron Mama Rummmy!!!"

The audience cheers wildly, then quiets to a stage whisper, as Big Mama Rummy begins the soft torchsong intro to the Kleptocrat Scat:

"Ask any of the tuhrists in my pen,
They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother ... hen,
I love them all and all of them love me
Because MY system works!
The system called never set them free!

(big drum beat, change-up to the tempo)

Got a little motto
Always sees me through:
'When you're good to Rummy, Rummy's good to you!'
There's a lot of favors we're prepared to do
You do one for BushCo., we'll do one for you!

They say that life is tit for tat
And that's the way I live
So I deserve a lot of tat
For what I've got to give (just ask Halliburton, they'll tell ya)

Don't you know that this hand
Washes that one too
When you're good to Rummy
Rummy's good to you!

If you want my gravy
Pepper my tripe stew
Spice it up for Rummy
He'll get hot for you!

When they pass that basket
Folks put bribes into
You put in for BushCo.
We'll put out for you!

The folks atop the ladder (that's us)
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder, kid
We're your be-gaveled whores

Let's all stroke together
LIKE THE PRINCETON CREW
When you're strokin' Rummy
Rummy's strokin' you!!!

So what's the one conclusion
I could bring this number to?

(BIG FINISH, feather boa flapping every which way as Rummy brings home the bacon)

When you're bad to BushCo.
BushCo.'s bombing YOU!!!

Yeah!"

Ides

[sui generis]

1. and about Condi, "concert pianist extraordinaire"

she only knows one sonata well enough to play all the way through.

She's kind of like Bush speaking "fluent meckskin". Hola. Coe Moe Estass. I have been el presidente for many anuses.

[IdesOfOctober]

2. That's hola with an H in it, too, right?

Yo hablo espan-YOL moo-ee bean.

:rofl:

Ides

[bleever]

3. Ooh, a little snap

at the Princeton crew.


:rofl:

(My summer at Harvard, we were taught a song that starts, "Oh, the freshman up at Yale get no tail...")

[CorpGovActivist]

4. Oh, Dear God Don't Get Him Started!

The doggerel and ditties on Election Night are going to be more than enough, thank you!

- Dave

[IdesOfOctober]

6. It's Election Day...

... let the ditties and doggerel commence!

WOO HOO!

Ides

[IdesOfOctober]

5. Rummy was a Princeton wrestler, you know, grappling with all those...

... horned dilemmas.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=donald+rumsfeld+princeton+wrestler

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=horns+dilemma

Ides