Breaking: Alabama to Allow Voting via Instant Messenger

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

Election officials are "concerned" after Alabama's Legislature revealed that not only would it's voters be allowed to cast their votes in November via Instant Messenger but Hotmail, Gmail, Fax and even their Motorola Razrs as well if they couldn't physically make it to the polls on election day.

Statistics show that historically only 1 in 10 voters even show up for PRESIDENTIAL elections anyway so, as Alabama governor Robert Riley told The Spoof, "We thought we'd just let them Fax their votes in. Or IM them. Or any way they could get them in before the polls close at Noon."

When DNC and RNC officials asked the governor what would prevent Alabamans from voting 1, 2, 20 or even more times the governor replied, "We haven't quite worked that kink out yet but we're pretty darned sure we'll have that minor niggle ironed out by the presidential election."

One Selma construction worker Bubba Lou Jenkins assured reporters that he and his family and dog and great great great "Uncle Zeke" would indeed cast only ONE vote per family member whether they were dead or alive.

"We don't have no Fax machine or computer or Motorola Razr or nuthin but we DO have a dozen Trac Phones and WILL be cast'n our votes come vote'n time. Who's runnin' again?"

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i11964

(I live here... sigh)